成人快手

CHANGING FACE OF BRITAIN

Donna couldn't keep her feelings a secret any longer

For most British women, reaching 60 means it's time to enjoy life. It's a milestone to be celebrated, when all women are entitled to claim their old age pension and forget about the worries of work. That is, all women except Donna, because she is a someone with a secret past.

Instead of spending time celebrating her birthday and retirement with family and friends, Donna has been told that to get her pension she must get a divorce first.

It may sound unlikely, but Donna's past means she has to fight the system every step of the way.

That's because 60 years ago, Donna was born Gerry.

Changing face

Donna's life has been one full of change and controversy.

"I was a pretty normal little boy. I can't remember the first time I wanted to cross-dress," she explains.

In fact most of Donna's earlier years were by all account "normal".

When he was in his 20s Gerry married Lynn and the couple had two children.

From the outside they were your average British family, but Gerry's desire to cross-dress became stronger and stronger.

"Whenever the opportunity arose, when I was at home alone, I would very often take clothes from Lynn's wardrobe and I would dress up," Donna remembers.

Lynn admits she was naive when she got married

Despite Gerry's efforts to keep his feelings secret, it was something that eventually had to come out into the open.

At the time, cross-dressing was such a hidden taboo that Lynn didn't know how to take the news.

She remembers, "I ran to the doctor and said 'is my husband gay'?"

I wouldn't worry

Lynn couldn't handle the shock of her husband's cross-dressing and was subsequently put on tranquilisers.

Gerry decided that he couldn't bear seeing his wife so distressed so he promised her that he would never bring the subject up again.

He remained true to his word for 15-20 years, although he did continue to cross-dress without Lynn's knowledge.

By this time Gerry was dressing as a woman as often as he could, yet to the rest of the world he was living and working as a man.

His job as a sports correspondent for national newspapers meant he was in an exceedingly "macho" world, and he carried off the manly portrayal well.

But for all his outward appearances, Gerry was still most at home as a woman.

Opening up

With the advent of the internet Gerry was, for the first time, able to talk to people who had the same transgender issues.

It was a time that he felt liberated, and it would eventually lead to everything coming out in the open.

Lynn explains when it all came to a head, "Six years ago I came downstairs and Gerry was on the internet.

"He quickly clicked off, he said聟 'You know that thing I had about the dressing, I'm speaking to people on the internet'."

It was then Lynn realised the extent of her husband's feelings, and it was then she and Gerry decided to tackle the issue together.

聯She went upstairs and came down with two lipsticks and said 'there you are, there's a present for you'.聰

Donna on wife Lynn's reaction

Gerry remembers, "She said 'I hadn't realised how important it was to you and how much of a part of you it was'.

"She said 'it's very difficult for me but from now on I'll try to understand more and try and support you'."

Fortunately for Gerry, other members of his family were equally accepting, even his grandchildren.

For them it wasn't such a big deal to be a cross-dresser. They had seen and heard about cross-dressers before and having their granddad do it wasn't a big issue.

"A lot of older people don't understand but because I'm younger and it's becoming more common, I'm open to that and I won't be so small minded about it all," they say.

Going all the way

After his secret was out in the open, Gerry found himself spending more and more time dressed as a woman.

And the more time he spent as a woman, the more he wanted to become one.

So, in 2003 Gerry decided to become Donna.

Losing your husband and gaining a "wife" was another big hurdle for Lynn.

"I wasn't 100% happy because I like Gerry being around, he's my husband.

"I had a chat with the girls and they said 'if it will make him happy being a woman all the time you've got to let him do it'," Lynn says.

And so, Gerry's quest to become Donna began in earnest.

Donna has already taken hormone tablets and undergone surgery to enable her to become a woman but it hasn't stopped there.

She also has to have painful weekly electrolysis sessions.

Even though she has had surgery Donna still needs regular beauty treatments

Donna's beautician admires her drive, "About 60% of my client base are like Donna; pre-op or they've had surgery and have problems with facial hair.

"It's a massive problem and requires long term treatment," she says.

Those going through the transformation process usually gain confidence in their looks as the treatment progresses but it's not an easy road.

Donna's beautician has seen many tough cases and comments, "Donna's lucky because she's happy, but you see very different degrees of people.

"You hear everything from suicide attempts to deep depression - most people in this situation aren't happy and their families have rejected them.

"It's an unfortunate situation," she says.

One of the lucky ones

Donna hears just how lucky she is when she meets up with her friend Paula.

Paula is a transsexual who has had to leave her home in rural Ireland as the locals just couldn't accept her living as a woman.

"I had no option but to go," Paula says sadly.

"I had a good job, I now live in a council flat - but I always knew I'd have to give up everything else I loved."

It isn't just the public who seem to discriminate against transsexuals though, as Donna and Lynn have found out.

The Gender Recognition Act, which comes into effect in 2005, will enable transsexuals like Donna to reregister their birth certificates in their new gender.

This will allow them to live life officially as women and enjoy all the rights associated with being a woman in the UK.

But in order to do this, Donna and Lynn would have to get a divorce, as same sex marriages aren't allowed in the UK.

This causes a dilemma for Donna and Lynn.

Lynn comments, "I've lived with him for 35 years and I don't want to change my lifestyle."

And it seems Donna is equally stuck.

聯We don't want to be thrown apart by the law聰

Lynn Greenberg

"I want to reregister very much, but want to stay married to Lynn聟 and my daughters want us to stay totally a family unit that's grown together over 35 years.

"The law is telling me 'divorce and you can become a woman', they're saying I have to break up a family in order to become a woman and there's something wrong with that," Donna says angrily.

Although we profess to be a modern, open-minded society, it seems life is still a struggle for anyone out of the "norm".

But for Donna and Lynn, this is a fight they aren't about to give up.

If you would like to get in touch with Donna email us at Inside Out.