成人快手

Part One - Heidi King's Diary

Heidi King tries out the anti-stammering device

Read Heidi King's exclusive web diary

Heidi King of Norwich is a vibrant young woman with a good job and lots of friends.

But her severe stammer means that communication can sometimes be difficult and frustrating.

Read her diary as she tries out a revolutionary new treatment in New York designed to tackle her stammering.

31st May 2006

I've got a million and one things to do before I leave for New York on Sunday.

I keep on trying to trick myself into thinking that this is just going to be like any other holiday.

I know it's not going to be and, corny as it sounds, this trip may change my life.

I'm off to New York to try out an experimental new treatment for the stammer I have had since I was three-years-old.

I've had Speech Therapy all my life.

A lot of it has been very helpful. It has taught me the coping skills to manage my disability on a day to day basis.

However, sometimes I just wish it wouldn't have to be such a struggle every time I open my mouth to speak.

Hopefully this new treatment may ease that physical struggle to some degree.

I'm 25, grew up in Billericay in Essex, I am now living and working in Norwich, Norfolk.

Until the end of September I am working for Age Concern Norfolk on a research and information giving project for older family carers.

In my spare time I love dancing. I've been learning tango for the past year.

The tango scene in Norwich is very vibrant - there are classes and social dances almost every night of the week.

I enjoy meeting my friends, going shopping, eating, drinking - all the usual stuff! I like seeing new places and travelling.

2nd June 2006

I found out about the 'SpeechEasy' device earlier this year.

In the beginning I was sceptical.

How can a device inserted into my ear change the way my brain works and consequently change the way I speak?

SpeechEasy could provide new hope for stammerers

After attending a lecture on the 'SpeechEasy' device with my Speech Therapist, discussing it with professionals and reading research papers I still have a lot of unanswered questions.

Initial research is showing that it can be quite effective for people who have a severe stammer, like me.

The research and professional opinion is suggesting that the device may be more effective in some speaking situations than others, for example when there is less pressure on the speech system i.e. talking to a person you know well about a non-emotive subject.

These sorts of situations might enable a person to experience a high degree of fluency.

However, I am uncertain what to expect. I cannot really believe that this device is going to work for me.

On top of this I do not know what having smooth, easy, fluent speech feels like.

Will I be able to find out in New York?

5th June 2006

So here I am... New York City at last!

Today I had my first consultation with John, a Speech Pathologist on Madison Avenue (opposite the Empire State Building). It went pretty well!

After recounting the history of stammering in my family (my dad and both granddads stammered) and telling him about every Speech Therapist I had seen since the age of four, I tried out the 'SpeechEasy Device.'

It consists of a tiny device - like a modern hearing aid worn in the ear canal.

It changed the way I heard the rate and tone of my own voice.

We spent some time getting the settings just right for my pattern of speaking.

John asked me to read a passage out loud while he changed and experimented with the settings of the device on a small computer.

John changed the settings so I heard my voice either, slower, faster, higher or lower in my ear.

Heidi King in Central Park meeting the locals

I started to read - I stammered a fair amount, struggling to get the word or sound out when John would change the settings slightly.

The struggle eased slightly, he would change it again and I would continue to struggle badly, he would then change it again mid word and I could get the next 10 words out before I could even stop to think.

We carried on in this vain until he found a setting where I could speak effortlessly. It was remarkable.

For someone, and a tiny device to have that much control over my speech without me having to put any conscious effort in was amazing.

It was great playing about with the device but scary to hear the vast impact it had on my speech.

It was a strange and relaxing experience!

Now it has been established that I am compatible for the device - I've decided to go ahead with it.

It costs 拢3,100 for the device! John told me to go away the think about it before I made my decision, but I didn't need to, I had made up my mind.

Then I went off to have a mould of my inner ear canal, and the order was placed for my very own device.

I pick it up in two weeks time! They place rush orders for people who are travelling from abroad.

This device it not available under the NHS. Over the last couple of months I have sent out about 100 sponsorship forms and held a fundraising party. I raised 拢1,300.

I am currently applying to various charities, groups and my local MP to try to raise the rest of the money.

9th June 2006

Why am I worrying? I'm in beautiful New York - sun, shopping, amazing sights, friendly people, food (wow - think I'm going to put on quite a lot of weight out here. I guess that just means more shopping so that can't be bad!).

I suppose there is so much to think about and take in.

It is all a bit overwhelming.

Heidi King and her dad Steve in the Big Apple

The consultation on Monday was great and the effect on my speech was instant and dramatic.

However, after a couple of hours in the consultation room a fair number of stammers did creep in and it took a lot - as always - to control them.

That's OK - I've stammered all my life, I'm used to stammering, it's no big deal but I don't want another short term quick fix.

To get my hopes up only to be dashed again. I just don't want to be a person who views their life through their stammer, always concentrating on controlling and modifying their speech.

I'd rather just get on with life. Hopefully I can find the balance.

It looks like the 'SpeechEasy' will be another step of my journey and not the final chapter.

18th June 2006

Today I got a jolt back to reality, I have just realised that it is tomorrow that I pick up the 'SpeechEasy' device.

Time is passing really quickly I didn't realise it was so soon! It doesn't seem real in many ways.

Every day I have to pinch myself that I am here in New York - I feel I am constantly on a movie set! The views are spectacular.

There are so many buildings and streets that I have seen a million times before at the cinema or on the TV, it all feels so familiar - 42nd St, 5th Avenue, Empire State, Macy's.

Today I went to the Statue of Liberty. It was amazing to see.

Tomorrow morning before my appointment at 1pm I am going up the Empire State Building!

I don't know whether I will actually be able to concentrate on the views of this amazing city as I think my mind will be too focused on the fitting of the device.

19th June 2006

Today I picked up the 'SpeechEasy' device.

I knew the 'SpeechEasy' device could work because of the assessment I had a couple of weeks ago, but even so I did not want to get my hopes up this time.

I felt a mixture of emotions. I suppose I felt anxious but as the same time calm, I almost felt that I didn't care, because deep down I didn't believe it could work a second time.

Heidi King on top of the Empire State Building with her father

However a couple of hours later when the battery was inserted, I felt the struggle of speaking quite literally lift from my shoulders.

The enormity of it did not hit me straight away.

I can remember that it was only after about 15 minutes - when a single stammer hadn't crept in that I broke down in tears and realised for the first time in my life I didn't have to actively try to get my words out.

My body felt relaxed and I noticed that I had sunk into the back of the chair.

My speech could keep up with my thoughts.

John said that I had had a dramatic response to the 'SpeechEasy' device and now I would find that many more doors would open for me.

I couldn't take it all in. After I left John's office I took the device straight out. I felt so overwhelmed by what had happened and the change to my speech.

20th June 2006

I slept erratically last night for thoughts of what this new device could mean for me.

Today has been a very odd day. I have had such a mixture and surge of emotions.

As strange as it may seem I can't quite believe the events of the previous day and believe in the power of the tiny device.

Surely enough over breakfast with my dad it worked almost as perfectly as it had done yesterday.

Dad commented that I was smiling a lot and look very relaxed. I don't know how I managed to eat breakfast.

New York story - Heidi looking relaxed on the town

The feeling of excitement was almost too much! I can't believe just how easy it is to speak. I don't want to stop talking!

However I do feel quite self conscious wearing the device. Obviously no -one can see that I am wearing it, it's just that feeling I have because it is at the forefront of my mind.

It feels as if everyone in New York knows that I am wearing this device and are waiting for me to stammer.

I thought that the sound of my voice had changed in some dramatic way, but dad convinced me that I sounded exactly the same just without the stammers and the struggles.

Later on this morning when I started to get out into the hustle and bustle of the real world that my speech started to break down.

I suppose it was a combination of factors - I couldn't put 100% concentration into my speech (New York is noisy, fast and crazy!), self consciousness (how do I come across when I am speaking fluently?), and perhaps, most importantly, I've had 21 years practice of stammering and one afternoon of fluency!

Read the final instalment online...

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