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What would happen if a body discovered on an archaeological dig in Jerusalem was thought to be the corpse of Christ? In "The Body", writer-director Jonas McCord asks us to believe that the Vatican would pack off a single inexperienced priest (Banderas) to "protect the church", by covering up the potential truth. It's just one of many improbables in this muddled would-be thriller, which proves too inept to be even vaguely controversial.
Banderas pocketed a career best $12 million pay-day for playing Father Matt Gutierrez - which is presumably where the bulk of the budget went, given the film's TV movie production values and bargain basement plotting.
It's not that McCord doesn't have an intriguing premise - adapted from Richard Ben Sapir's novel - but any compelling theological questions are rendered void by the stupidity of the protagonists and illogical nature of their deductions. Certain biblical prophesies are accepted as fact, while others are dismissed out of hand. And as for why the apostles believed Jesus had risen? Well, they just hadn't looked in the back of the tomb properly, had they?
The depiction of Middle Eastern politics is laughable (sinister Palestinians, sinister Israelis, sinister bishops), as is the supposed - but non-existent - sexual frisson between Banderas and Olivia Williams' archaeologist.
The inherent likability of the leads does make portions of "The Body" watchable, but the final half-hour is a risible mess - a blend of incoherent montage sequences and thrill-free gunplay.
Even the most dedicated watcher of theologically-themed thrillers should stay away. Ironically, the closing credits title card - quoting from John's gospel - sums things up nicely: "Blessed are those who believe and yet have not seen."
"The Body" opens in UK cinemas on Friday 9th November 2001.
