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Sketchup

Katie Fraser | 12:48 UK time, Tuesday, 2 February 2010

A selection of lines from parliamentary sketch-writers.

At pensions questions in the House of Commons, one minister Angela Eagle's ability to play down what other people may consider vast sums of money when she said that the UK's national pensions' liability was "close to £600billion, off the top of my head":

"I loved that 'off the top of my head' bit in relation to billions of pounds. Doesn't it just sum up the attitude of today's politicians to public spending? Ooooh, a few hundred billion here and there - who's counting?"

by Lord Mandelson's choice of insults at his press conference designed to attack the Tories and their leader David Cameron whom he likened to "a cork in the water":

"It's hardly going to lead to a duel at dawn (chosen weapon: corkscrews). Imagine the playground scene. Mandy: 'Don't be such a cork!' while Dave shouts: 'Look who's talking, you screwtop!'"

watching Foreign Office questions, is relieved to hear David Miliband say that he is not directly involved in any hostage-release negotiations:

"He's too quick to be right, to win the trick, to smack his hand on the cards and cry, 'Snap!' and then beam round the table expecting everyone to be enjoying his cleverness as much as he is. 'But Foreign Secretary,' his secretary murmurs, 'the people on the other side are playing bridge.'"

by MPs' lack of interest in their colleagues' erroneous expenses claims, as time was set aside in the Commons for a debate on MP Harry Cohen's claim for £60,000 that the standards and privileges committee had ruled he had not been entitled to:

"When the matter was debated today there were three Labour MPs in attendance and two Tories. As I said, they don't yet get it."

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