The New Year Beach.
Relax and celebrate...
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Well, Eddie a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair,
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share.
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet,
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by,
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye:
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt!"
They crept up on sleeping Eddie quiet as could be;
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
They marvelled for a moment, then one said: "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
Around the bonnie PM star Eddie's kilt did lift and show.
Now soon Eddie woke to nature's call, and stumbled towards the trees.
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
"Oh, lad I don't know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize!"
Well, Eddie a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair,
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share.
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet,
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by,
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye:
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt!"
They crept up on sleeping Eddie quiet as could be;
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
They marvelled for a moment, then one said: "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
Around the bonnie PM star Eddie's kilt did lift and show.
Now soon Eddie woke to nature's call, and stumbled towards the trees.
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
"Oh, lad I don't know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize!"
Merry 502 to you all...
:o( []
Well, Eddie a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair,
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share.
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet,
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by,
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye:
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt!"
They crept up on sleeping Eddie quiet as could be;
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
They marvelled for a moment, then one said: "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
Around the bonnie PM star Eddie's kilt did lift and show.
Now soon Eddie woke to nature's call, and stumbled towards the trees.
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
"Oh, lad I don't know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize!"
Little Miss Poppy - I'm trying to sing your poem to the tune of 'The Day We Went To Bangor', but I'm not having much luck - is it meant to be sung? If so, is there a well-know tune we could use? I think we're in need of a good sing-song now that the carol singers have gone.
Sid
Sid (5)
you aint got time for that me ol' mate. You should be getting the sprouts on for Christmas Day lunch.....2008.
Well. As a matter of fact, I was so late getting this year's on (well into December if you recall) that they weren't ready for Christmas dinner. So - guess what? I topped up the water a little and left them on for next year, exactly as you suggest, and therefore have plenty of time for singing, dancing, playing bridge, and many other pastimes. All together now: 'Well, Eddie a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair ...'
Sid
Has anyone seen the Glass Box for Friday? Or has sunk with all hands?
Morning Froggers, young Eddie was down here earlier posting notices up on palm trees about some Friday glassbox...
Anyhoo frying up leftover boiled spuds with eggs and bacon prior to a session of out door work at Pignies Wood, I have left them in the hostess trolley at NC's bar.
Mind you the whole idea was to burn off a few calories not add several hundred prior to going out!
Frog-u-later, DiY:)
Nothing I like better than fried up leftover potato - thanks DIY.
Thought I'd lurk on the beach for a while and soak up some sunshine while avoiding post-Christmas RL - loads of sheets and towels to wash, then a theatre to save.
I found these cushions for the hammock in a sale, just testing them out......zzzzzzzzzzzz
A.
xx
One of my daughters came from Dubai for a Christmas lunch on 23rd and brought someone with her to visit me.
He's a camel called Ralph. He says that's pronounced Rafe. Well, that goes with his supercilious expression!
Does anyone mind too much if he just comes a prowls the dunes round here, seeing he says the climate in England is *not* what he is used to? I've gotta be honest here, the house isn't big enough to hold his personality, but maybe the other camels on the beach will tone him down a little.
Hi Rafe, are u a one or a two humper?
I premiered Little Miss Poppy's song last night at the music night. Went down a treat, it did.
And then some smartalec Kiwi pointed out that it's been around for at least 6 months with a completely different tune! What a swizz!!!
If anyone would like to hear THAT version please contact me via the weblink from my name. Mine was funnier though......!
Little Miss Poppy, I did give you full credit though. ;o)
Fifi xxx
Low growl
Back off DIY, that Rafe babe is MINE...
Oh I say, what a splendid situation you do have here! Dunes, drinks, and dolly-birds, just what a young camel needs in life.
Ahem!
I'm awf'ly pleased to meet you, my Lady. We Bactrian camels have never thought there was anything the least bit infra dig about dromedaries having only one hump, you know. It's got a sort of streamlined charm, wouldn't you agree? Makes a chap feel almost, well, inelegant by comparison with such a svelte profile.
May I offer you a drink?
Nice one rafe! You certainley have the gift of the gab, no doubt all the girls will be admiring your charmes!
Anyhoo, simple breakfast of grapefruit segments, toast and marmalade today. Tuck in.
Diy:)
and now, here is a weather warning from the Beach Met Office:-
If the wind doth blow from Essexshire
Tis Sid you need to blame.
With a pot a boiling on high heat
It’s his sprouts that pong most dire.
Boom boom
rafe-
obviously in line for your first gong- next time, perhaps? keep going!
Well, SO off for a tramp on the Marshes, house quiet,so thought I'd peruse the events of the past week and am soooooo cross !
My Christmas message, frugs and mince pies, sitting close to n-n, did not appear.....
Not rude or anything- I'm bemused and so want to say a loud
'HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!"
There- stop me now ye mods!
Fifi-great news!
Mollyxx
Ah well, it appears that life is getting back to normal at last :) I've used up the turkey leftovers, and the rest of mum's christmas cake is on the bar for those who want a slice. I'm off for a jog along the shore. Anyone else want to join in?
Molly (18)
I think there was a Christmas black hole on the blog, lots of things went missing!
For instance the 98 carrot Diamond ring for Mrs. DiY. The case of Claret for the PM team and the new Tutu for Gillian to name but a few, all mysteriously vanished.
FF (19)
sorry mate, impossible to jog after consuming yer mum's christmas cake!
I'm about to make kipper kedgeree. Hands up who'd like a dollop?
Fifi ;o)
DIY-
Poor Mrs DIY and everyone!
Never mind. As long as we still have you- that's the main thing !
Partee tamorra??
Mollyxx
FF (19)
sorry mate, impossible to jog after consuming yer mum's christmas cake!
Pot's on the bar, with extra lemon juice for those who like it!
Do tuck in...
Fifi ;o)
Ah Molly (23)
wot a sweet thing to say....and yes I'm up for it!
Feefs, raise yer kedgeree for a leftover turkey madras...
....your go.
DiY:)
Mollster:
I've 'posted' every day as if it were a religous observance, but it really does seem to be pot luck if they get through!!!
thanks, though, for the mince pies!!
n-n
n-n.....
..and beg, wot is wrong with Feefs Kedgeree and my Curry?
DIY (26): See your leftover turkey madras and raise you a bean, lentil and aubergine mousakka!
Vegetarian froggers please step forward...
Fifi
When it comes to vegetarians, Fifi, I will see your mousakka and raise you a bale of hay. Just do not tell those who ate my brother for . . . (sniff) . . . for . . . (sniff, sob sob) . . .
Kedgeree please!
McSid
Pizza's on bar. No turkey got near them.
The leftovers are frozen as is the ham stock soup and the Turkey soup. Turkey Korma was very creamy.
Shiraz open and peppery!
I'm also about to make some hot chocolate. Hands up if you want one.
Morning froggers, off to work in RL but just time to see if all the washing up is done!
Oh, pavement Pizza, I'll get my pressure washer!
Fifi, see your bean, lentil and aubergine mousakka and raise you five Chilli Lamb Risoles with Leek and Champ potatoes!
there's still a blockage at my end....
more prunes, praps!
n-n
n-n (34)
wot u need is a good dose of my Gran's syrup of figs.
Walk over to the other side of my surgery, bend over and pick up that penny AND brace yerself!
DiY ( not... MA VetMB PhD DipECVS DVR CertSAO DEO MRCVS)
oooo
am i in?! so, syrup of figs, eh?!
right, so far this morning, i've had the kedgeree, mince pies, leftover turkey madras, FF's ma's christmas cake, bean, lentil and aubergine mousakka, a bale of hay (cheers, Rameses!), Stew's pizza, and my prunes -
clear me way, coming through!!
n-n
PS will be boogeing (boogying? boogie-ing? sp) later on, so I think more sustinance will be required!!
anyone fancy noodles?
(!)
Noddles? Yey!! I'm first in line, nikki! xx
n-n....me next....... as long as you have plenty of Soy sauce.
Hi guys. Just taking a quick look up from my books to wish all those who can still call me to mind a very happy New Year. Here's hoping that 2008 is a good year for all froggers, PM team members and everyone else dear to us. And now back to to modern Scottish Gothis, as personified in a particularly distateful set of short stories...
Nikki love, I sent you a bottle brush earlier but it fell into Café 502 and I haven't seen it since...
I have placed a huge vat of salsa, chips and cream on the bar, and several bottles of shiraz. (The gravadlax should be ready for tomorrow.)
We're on our way out to consume more of the same, plus meat-free moussaka (was it nice??), inappropriate singing, greeting the village at midnight, a possible ride in a tank, then back indoors for hot soup and more wine and singing.
My very best wishes to all you froggers for 2008. You have been so sweet to me all year, and your support and positive thoughts during the tough times are hugely appreciated.
Hugs all round!
Fifi ;oD
Bu**er, I'm out of sorts! I am squirting my eyes with Chloramphenicol oinkment......conjunctivitas has struck. Dr Locum says bad luck, so these are not crocodile trears!
duh, that should have said epitomised...
HAPPY NEW YEAR, FROGGERS!!!!!!!
Fifi xxxx
A Froggingly Happy New Year to one and all where ever you are!
DiY
Happy 2008, everyone!
H.
Happy New Year to all!
Just in middle of mad "3- concerts- in- 2- days-in-3-different-cities- we'll- make- the- b*gg*rs- work- for- their- money" session.
Most stressful moment of last night's concert - having to hold up huge signs in middle of 1812 Overture to tell people when to pop their paper bags.
Don't even ask. Health & safety? Economy? Getting-money's-worth-out-of-harpist-who-wasn't
-otherwise-playing?
Anyway, nice to see the blog working so well for 2008, & see you all soon. Hope the hangovers aren't too painful this morning!
I've left the makings of Bucks Fizz on the bar - undiluted champers for me, freshly-squeezed orange juice for those in a delicate state or a mix for those whose spirit is willing but head is weak! ;o)
I've added a pot of tea and jug of fresh coffee to the Bucks Fizz that Gillian's kindly left. Muffins and croissants on the plate to the left....
Happy new hangover, one and all!
Fifi xxxxx
Thanks Gillian and a drinking joke to start 2008 off to a flying start.....
Jim and Bill find themselves sitting next to each other in a Litchfield pub. After a while, Jim looks at Bill and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you and your accent, that you are from………….The Black Country'
Bill responds proudly, 'To be sure sor, so I am'
[……hang on wrong joke.....]
Bill responds proudly, 'Indeed I am'
Jim says, 'So am I! And where might you be from?'
Bill answers, 'I'm from Brown Hills.'
Jim responds, 'So am I! And where did you live?'
Bill says, 'A lovely little area two miles south of Junction 6 of the M6 toll. Not too far from Shire Oak!'.
Jim says, 'Unbelievable! What school did you attend?.
Bill says, 'Well I attended the University of Birmingham.'
Jim gets really excited on hearing this, and says, 'And so did I. Tell me what year did you graduate?'
Bill answers' '1984'
Jim exclaims, 'Amazing! This was destined by fate. God wanted us to meet! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from the Brummy Uni in 1984 as well.'
About this time, Sid enters the bar, sits down, and orders a pint of Marstons. The barman walks over shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long, long old night, the Jones twins are drunk again.'
I fank you….Happy New Year, cheers and bottoms up Gillian!
Happy New Year to one and all.
Fresh vegetable soup on the bar for those with delicate digestions today.
Still very busy with the campaign to save Derby Playhouse and help provide a totally new model for the funding of regional theatre, but NY resolutions to spend more time on the beach, especially if Room 502 is successfully abolished.
A.
xx
Happy New Year to froggers, and the PM team .
Back to the grindstone for a few hours before I partake of the booze....
Crikey! is that the time???
Move over you lot-gotta get m'resolutions sorted for the list...
Hammock still full- god party!!!
Right-
1.Wish froggers HAPPY 2008!
2.Hmmm-
Mollyxx
Happy New Year to everyone!!!
I hope 2008 brings you all health, wealth and happiness!!!
May you and all yours prosper!!!
Gillian (39)
tee hee!!
xx
nikki
Cyril is riding his tandem down the Hendon Road when he gets pulled over by a policeman.
Walking up to Cyril the bobby says, 'I've come to tell you that your wife fell off some two miles back.'
Cyril replies, 'Thank goodeness, I thought I'd gone deaf.'
I fank you.....
DIY, you wondered about the disappearance of "the 98 carrot Diamond ring for Mrs. DiY" (20). I happened to pass Rafe and Cammelia a little earlier and she was looking thrilled, while Rafe was grinning widely. There were orange stains around both their mouths. Rameses was looking a little more cheerful, too.
Happy New Year, everyone! May all your needs be met, with a bit over to spare, may your dreams come a little closer to realities, may you find peace of mind, may you have sudden unexpected moments of sheer joy and may the NCMB always have your favourite tipples and nibbles to hand!
And may those of us who are under the weather (bronchitis over Xmas and the New Year for me - huh) get well soon.
HAPPY NEW YEAR to all and sundry.
Sorry I've been missing of late but ye olde 502 seems to eat all my messages of goodwill. Hopefully everyone had a restful holiday involving lots of food and other goodies.
Here's hoping for year where "502" isn't a swear word.
Frances O (56)
So, my suspicions are realised!
Francis O (56)
Also....I have re read the following a lot slower...
.....joy and may the NCMB always have your favourite tipples and nibbles to hand!...
...shame really, I thought it made better sense the first time!
DiY:)
I say, Frances O, that's a bit tales out of school, isn't it? I mean to say, he's got splendid taste in carrots, or rather his carrots have splendid taste, but one tries to keep this sort of thing a bit dark, really.
I mean, really!
Er, no, what I really mean is, Happy New Year everyone.
Rafe (59)
Just you wait, my Bacterial Camel fiend!
Meanwhile, recent entries from the Uxbridge Dictionary...
Defunct...to have ones sense of rhythm removed....
AWOL....a dyslexic Owl..
Oh, sorry, Ralph, old chap, no offence meant, eh? I just thought he might be in trouble with the missus. She might've had the hump, don't y'know.
Then again, after that 'nibbles' remark, should we really worry?
And who is 'tibbles'?
The Beach cat?
Well, that's strange, I'm sure I posted something here on the Beach yesterday evening, and I didn't get 502d, but it hasn't arrived?
ValP has sent a list of resolutions for 2008. My favourite:
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow...
Happy new thingummy, everyone!
Fifi xxx
Fran. O (63)
from G**gle....
tib-cat
A female cat.
Source: Websters Dictionary
(01 Mar 1998)
therefore tibbles is quite rightly the Beach Cat!
Here Tibbles, come on puss, there's a good girl. Yes I know nasty Camel, ate ALL the carrots!
There, there my precious!
Diy
Val P (64)
They are all mine, mine I tell you, there is no escape from The Black Hole.
Diamond rings, cases of Claret, they are all mine.
Feefs.
Be positive, maybe.
'Precious', DI? Now I'm worried.
Heeeere, Tibs, heeeeeere, kittykittykitty. Have a nice freshly-caught fish
Frances O, dear lady, of course that's perfectly all right. No offence taken, I do assure you.
I think one has to show natural dignity in the face of such remarks, really, and give them a complete miss in baulk. So long as he doesn't start calling _you_ 'Tibbles'.
A word in your ear, though. You might be able to help me, can you think who he means when he says 'nasty camel'? It would be so awkward to find myself obliged to defend a lady's honour, I'm sure you understand. I mean, I'm a bit of a new boy here and I'm not sure what the form is.
Frances O, dear lady, of course that's perfectly all right. No offence taken, I do assure you.
I think one has to show natural dignity in the face of such remarks, really, and give them a complete miss in baulk. So long as he doesn't start calling _you_ 'Tibbles'.
A word in your ear, though. You might be able to help me, can you think who he means when he says 'nasty camel'? It would be so awkward to find myself obliged to defend a lady's honour, I'm sure you understand. I mean, I'm a bit of a new boy here and I'm not sure what the form is.
Divergin' - Welsh celibate passes on.
Sid
Ralph, old chap, just let him try. I have, after all, swum with him to the diving area and quaffed oysters and champers under the limpid moon, and him in his most lurid speedos. I have no fear of being tibbled.
As for the 'nasty', I suspect that was all about luring the 'precioussssssssssss' Beach Cat. Fear not. All is well.
Direct: Ruined by a Welshman
Dichotomy: Surgical removel of an unwanted Welshman
Direction: Aroused Welshman
Now that the New Year is finially in how we look forwards to the start of the open season on the even-toed ungulates of the genus Camelus!
So load up with No8 shot and be ready for the glorious Monday the 7th!!
Tibbles, here puss.....go and get me 5 doz eggs, 2kg of Almonds.......and......!!
DiY:)
Frances O - sorry to read you've been laid up and laid low (?!) with bronchitis.
Am sending you a snow plough - i think its a kind of cocktail, but i might be thinking of something else!?!
Whats this about a beach cat called Tibbles?
[Will have to self censor my next comment as its really too early for that sort of thing...]
I've not seen Tibbles, what does she look like?
n-n
Crikey. The first time I've seen a camel in a hammock.
Must be time for a drink?
Sid
Sprout gin, Sid? Yum!
As for Tibbles, well perhaps tabby; or marmalade. to blend in with NCMB breakfasts; or lucky black. And thoughts?
Hogmaney - So, that chap is making a pig of himself is he?
Die Hard ...
Sid
Sid (77) - A camel in a hammock was once a common sight upon the beach.
When duties in the Hice permitted, our ennobled friend, Cammelia, Lady Dromedary, an extraordinary raconteuse and wit, would grace us with her presence and conviviality. Many an evening she rested in the purple hammock.
Oh bygone Days! Oh days, where have you gone?
Oh lordy. I've just, at ten minutes past midnight, finished doing the first edit of the first chapter of a book about logos.
And now I'm going to plan a journey to a funeral for tomorrow.
Doesn't Fifi have a great life!!!!
Fifi ;o)
Will be thinking of you Fifi.
Fresh English Breakfast and some superb Blue Mountain on the bar, also freshly squeezed juice of organic clementines and some of my sister's homemade marmalade to go with the toast and croissants.
A.
xx
The beach is quiet this morning.... I think I'd better nip over to the next island to pick up the pastries for elevenses.....
O Intermittent Horse, I am here, as ever. But, speaking of those who once frequented the Beach, along with Lady C, I hanker for a sight of our old friend Robbie John Do, or RJD as he became over time. Horse, o Horse, can you conjure him back into existence?
Aha! I see I'm just in time for some pastries ...
Sid
Bygone Days - The last I heard was that the years had not been kind to RobbieJohnDo. His faculties have degenerated to such an extent that he is now known as RobbieJohnDon't. I wouldn't count on an early return.
Intermittent Horse, this is simply untrue. My dear son spent a sprightly Christmas entertaining the whole family and was spotted in various bars over the New Year. The last time I spoke to him he was extolling the virtues of Irish Whiskey, having freely sampled (I believed) said liquor.
I will encourage him to return to the shores of the Beach so that these malicious rumours can be quashed once and for all.
And a good New Year to all here - Must fly, I've a bun in the oven.
Fifi - hope your day hasn't been too rough and if it has, jump into the bottle of red on the bar when you get back.
Happy New Year to everyone. ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ-made profiteroles on the bar with extra cream in the fridge.
Diet, what diet??????
The notices were published on the 15th Dec, collected on New Year's Eve and the Register Office opened specially on New Year's Day in Dolgellau.
So, beach people, I am a married man as of 11am, 1st of January, 2008.
All my New Years resolutions were affirmed with the words 'I do'.
Love to you all, of course, but, of course, most of all, to you, Deborah.
Yours Forever,
mac
Congratulations Mac and Deborah!
And may your union be blessed according to your wishes and desires.
Salaam/Shalom/Shanthi/Dorood/Peace
Namaste -ed
Drinks all round!
Slainte!!!!
Here's my new recipe for smoked salmon paté ... delish, quick and infallible!
Ingredials:
200g smoked salmon
200g tub of light cream cheese
zest and juice of 1 lemon
black pepper
Madness:
Blitz the lot in a food processor, spoon into a serving dish, chill it for at least 2 hours in the fridge. And that's it done!
Serving suggestion:
If you can keep your fingers out of it long enough, it's gorgeous on hot buttered toast.
Samples of my 2nd batch on the bar, along with hot buttered toast and vegetable crudités. I'll be slumped, bladdered, under the nearest table after an unusually grim day in RL, should you wish to thank me...
Fifi xxx
Here's one for DIY:
Fifi's Winter Exercise program...
Take one Weetabix.
Take an Aero chocolate bar.
Crumble the Aero over the Weetabix.
Voila! AEROBIX !
(Other breakfast cereals and chocolate bars are available but are a lot less funny.)
Fifi ;o)
Well Done mac!!! Congratulations to you both - good job there's always some bubbly in the fridge - let's have a party!
Mac - What Ed said!
Sid
Congrats (again - 502d the first time) to Mac and Mrs Mac. Fabulous news!
To celebrate I've brought some home made salsa and flour tortillas. The salsa's a bit hot so there's creme fraiche on the side. And extra jalapeno peppers to hot it all up again.
If we ALL have some, then nobody needs to worry about the resulting garlic-breath...
Fifi ;o)
Belated new years greetings to you all and congrats to Mac.
Busy Busy trying to decipher a new Price list from my main supplier. I quote "Following Customer feedback we have redesigned the price list to make it more transparent and enabling you to price your selected lens with greater ease." I'm looking at a spreadsheet in 8 point print and 2 bits of A4 wide. Easy to read NO. To get a price you have to read off one number then follow the row to the end for an addon cost. WHilst the add on costs are all similar they are not the same!. Arrgh.
Mince Pies with Rum butter in the bar
ya da da da da DA
ya da da da da DA
da da da da
da da da da
~~~~~
pass the fizz and the tortillas for the next round, please....
~~~~
beach conga everyone....la la la la, la la la la
yabba dabba do, ha
yabba dabba do, ha
*every other foot off the ground here*
This is just the thing to "bannish those January blues"!!
P.S. Plenty of nibbles and more fizz in the fridge of the bar - help yourselves.
Congrats from me too, mac & mrs mac. :) I tried to say so yesterday, but got 502'd.