The Beach
which is always a refuge from the 502 monsters.
Ahem.
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Lovely clean beach and no-one in sight, is that a good sign or not I wonder....
I'll risk putting some fresh tea and coffee on the bar, and if you don't think it's too warm here I shall be making porridge with organic oats and cinnamon, plenty for everyone.
A.
xx
I cannot believe I'm first here, no footprints that I can see. Not that there was much chance last night when everything was inaccessible.
Anyway, coffee, toast, marmalade (quick working breakfast before RL) available...
If I can make it past the 502 monsters there are cakes and bubbly for your all on the NC bar to help celebrate my birthday (did I mention I'm the same age as Eddie :-) ) I know its a bit early but hey its already evening in the far east so lets just pretend our beach is somewhere in the balmy Indian Ocean for now!
Anyhoo chocolate fudge cake and carrot cake for those abstaining......... and lots of bubbly, enjoy!
Fiona xx
Morning all.
Look through these here binoculars: Is that a big blue 502 monster in the distance? I believe it is.
Quiet here today, isn't it? I'm off to the dentist but will have some of that porridge when I get back.
test Fri Nov 16 10:16:00 GMT 2007
xx
ed
Why do seagulls live near the sea? 'Cause if they lived near the bay, they'd be called baygulls.
502 before Fri Nov 16 10:29:57 GMT 2007
Here we come,
Walkin' down the Beach,
No 502 monsters,
We do beseech...
Hey hey, we're the Froggers,
And we keep froggin' around,
We're just here to relax,
Where drinks and camels abound...
Coooeee Eddie lammy-pie,
CHEER UP!
When the red red robin goes blog, blog, bloggin' along. There'll be no more 502'n When he starts throb -bin' his old sweet song,
Eddie! wake up, wake up you sleep -y head, Get up, get up, get out of bed, cheer up, cheer up, the sun is red, Live, Love, laugh and be hap -py,
What if we've been blue now we're walk-in through fields of flow'rs, Rain may glis -ten but still I lis -ten to PM for hours and hours, we're just kids a -gain do -in' what we did a -gain sing -ing a song
When the red, red, rob -in comes blog, blog, blog -gin' a -long.
The item on the composer who had written music for a DVD about Pope Jeanpaul was presented in a manner which betrayed an anti-catholic undertone. Eddie introduced the item by expressing suprise that a non-catholic should do such a thing and then towards the end of the item the interviewer asked the composer did he not feel he was contributing to 'catholic propaganda'. The I found the question offensive and shocking and the composer was clearly taken aback. Would the question have been framed in such a way if the subject were about the jewish or muslim religion? How would listeners react if a ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ interviewer asked a question about 'Church of England Propaganda'.
It appears that at the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ respect of others faith does not extend to Catholics.
Happy birthday Fi :o)
Happy birthday Fi.
test Fri Nov 16 10:16:00 GMT 2007
xx
ed
Why do seagulls live near the sea? 'Cause if they lived near the bay, they'd be called baygulls.
502 before Fri Nov 16 10:29:57 GMT 2007
and again, Fri Nov 16 10:36:56 GMT 2007
and again, Fri Nov 16 10:47:58 GMT 2007
Fri Nov 16 10:58:40 GMT 2007
Fri Nov 16 11:05:27 GMT 2007
Fri Nov 16 12:33:47 GMT 2007
Fri Nov 16 12:41:17 GMT 2007
Eddie, you've gone all dark and deep blue. Is this another synaesthetic response?
Slainte
ed
The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds
the other fellow of a dull one.
-- Sid Caesar
Eddie's best wishes are seconded by me .....
In fact, I'd posted birthday wishes to Fiona way back in the morning, but I think they were ambushed by the 502 monster.
I would like to associate myself with the sentiments of Izzy and Eddie...
...but I bet the 502 monster won't let me.
Test.
Eddie's best wishes are seconded by me .....
In fact, I'd posted birthday wishes to Fiona way back in the morning, but I think they were ambushed by the 502 monster.
I wish I could join in wishing Fi a Hippo Bathday, but I keep getting 502'd
Just happened again. I'm getting very dis-heartened by this...
Happy Birthday Fi,
Glad to see the feature where Eddie's contributions are in a slightly different coloured box (as seen in iPM) has also happened here.
502'ed once
(not all visits to cafe 502 mean that it does not get posted)
SSC - Think you've got the next Froggers Song there!
Ed - I like a baygull with some smoked salmon and cream cheese, yum!
I think this is about my 5th 502 so far today....grrr
Anyway doesn't matter cause Eddie wished me a happy birthday. So now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside, birds are singing, little bunny rabbits are skipping merrily......and I am myself one happy little bunny.
And thank you everyone else too, its lovely here with all you lovely people! (and this is me BEFORE I have any bubbly!) :0)
Deep (19) I agree not all visits to cafe 502 are lost, but I've been there maybe 20 times today, and only one of my comments has appeared...
Just like I was that time (502 #21 at 14:57)
Deep (19) I agree not all visits to cafe 502 are lost, but I've been there maybe 20 times today, and only one of my comments has appeared...
Just like I was that time (502 #21 at 14:57)
And again at 15:06
Deep (19) I agree not all visits to cafe 502 are lost, but I've been there maybe 20 times today, and only one of my comments has appeared...
Just like I was that time (502 #21 at 14:57)
And again at 15:06....
And 15:13.....
OK, in fairly vain hope of getting through -
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!
502
testing any 502's now?
Deep (19) I agree not all visits to cafe 502 are lost, but I've been there maybe 20 times today, and only one of my comments has appeared...
Just like I was that time (502 #21 at 14:57)
And again at 15:06....
And 15:13.....
And 15:22......
And 15:26.......
And 15:31........
And 15:35.........
And 15:40.......... (Are you seeing a certain trend here?)
And 15:44 (This time I'm going to try and preview my comments.....)
Great, I'm not even allowed to do that?!?!? Instead I get hit with a 502 again! I'm going to keep trying until the end of the hour.... (15:50)
Yet again at 15:56... (attempt 11 for this post...)
Deep (19) I agree not all visits to cafe 502 are lost, but I've been there maybe 20 times today, and only one of my comments has appeared...
Just like I was that time (502 #21 at 14:57)
And again at 15:06....
And 15:13.....
And 15:22......
And 15:26.......
And 15:31........
And 15:35.........
And 15:40.......... (Are you seeing a certain trend here?)
And 15:44 (This time I'm going to try and preview my comments.....)
Great, I'm not even allowed to do that?!?!? Instead I get hit with a 502 again! I'm going to keep trying until the end of the hour.... (15:50)
I would join in the good wishes for Fi, except I keep getting 502'd
I would join in the good wishes for Fi, except I keep getting 502'd
:o( []
OK, in fairly vain hope of getting through -
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!
502 twice; 3rd time lucky???
Hey guys,
I think I've spotted something.
If your entry is 502'ed, submit it *once* more. Get another 502, click back on the browser.
Then open another tab, and check a little later if your second attempt has gone through. If not, you can go back and try again.
This is what I did today for my second post here, and second post on the iPM blog.
Hey guys,
I think I've spotted something.
If your entry is 502'ed, submit it *once* more. Get another 502, click back on the browser.
Then open another tab, and check a little later if your second attempt has gone through. If not, you can go back to the first tab and try again.
This is what I did today for my second post here, and second post on the iPM blog.
502'ed once
That scheme of mine (32) worked again.
Bernard Hall, well done! I posted here to suggest you might be in the wrong place, and I can't find my post but you've done what I suggested anyway. Hey, have a croissant or something while you're here?
Deepthought, your method got through twice, so it's worth a try...
And the other (most important) thing I tried and tried to say:
Happy Birthday Fi!
Our pea burped, eh, Fiona? You-know-what willing.
H x
SB 19:29
Happy Birthday Fiona....
Well, since the last comment got through, & hoping I'm not tempting fate...
Happy Birthday Fiona. Hope you had a really nice day!
This is the only place I can think of to share a comment I overheard this week.Without lowering the tone too much. Since it's usually pretty low anyway...
I've been away in Spain with an orchestra. Lovely hotels to stay in, but my goodness the Spanish go for a rather fibre-free diet, don't they? We had plenty of meat, white bread, cheese, chips with every main course, & NO vegetables unless you count a bit of lettuce or 1/2 a tomato occasionally. This had predictable consequences for people's digestive systems, & became a conversation topic more often than one would wish. In the breakfast queue one morning, the person next to me was regaling his friends with his current dire state, ending with "When this comes out, I tell you, I'm going to need an epidural".
I notice that Eddie Sturton is doing AQ's next three weeks, according to JD. Does this mean EM's demoted? Or EM prefers PM & iPM to live audiences (which, IMO, he handled well).
First attempt
And flappy flirty from me too, Fiona!
Fifi xxx
PS good to see ya, BnB ;o)
Sorry Fiona, I tried loads of times to wish you a Happy Birthday but not one seems to have got through!
Hope you had a lovely day!x
Deep (39) I think it's probably because iPM is done live to air on a Saturday, so Eric has to use Saturday getting the last bits ready, and can't do it while he's on the train back from wherever AQs was the evening before.Of course, in the end i'll be Sequin doing AQs in place of Eric, Ed, and the Dimb. After all, she does everything else on R4!
Annasee (38)
WAY too much detail there for poor delicate flowers such as myself.
DiY:)
502'd at 09:35, one more try
Annasee (38)
WAY too much detail there for poor delicate flowers such as myself.
DiY:)
SSC (7) We're just trying to be friendly,
The Beach is where we sing and play,
We can pop into ''The Furrow''
If there's something important to say....
ah, it looks like things may be getting a bit easier here, so I'm going for a jog along the water's edge. I'll see if there's any beverages washed up along the way :)
Oops, I'm being malicious, apparently
Hi peeps after trying MANY MANY MANY times to post I seem to have negotiated a path through the 502 mine field!
how's things?
lunch, served between 12:30 and 13:30 will be grilled Pilchards with scrambled eggs on toast.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMM........ can't you just taste them........I can 'cos that s what I've got!
I brought Garibaldi biccys because they are beach proof..
..Sorry about the sand in the tea though!
(I'm not responsible for the sugar bowl)
What ho, and greetings!!
Have entirely failed to post recently on the beach, though I snuck one through successfully on the bag-man-page.
What would happen in RL if conversations got 502'ed???
I say, I wonder what would happen in RL if conversations got 502'ed???
Excuse me for asking, but i was just saying, I wonder what would happen in RL if conversations got 502'ed???
right.
tee hee!!!!
Toodle loo, one and all, following my high fruit-and-veg diet...
n-n
..but nikki noodle(49) my conversations are like that in real life!
Afternoon all, no 502's yet today but a bizarre problem when I made a posting on iPM.
ooo these tongs are ticklish!!
May I just confirm that I am not Squirrel's responsiblity?
If this gets through I'll eat my laptop.
Oh dear.
Appers @ 53 and 54, I assume that you'll be selling the tickets for the event yourself, but please may I have the popcorn concession?
Oh, and I have this spiffy idea for the t-shirt design...
What is happening to me at the moment, by the way, is that it cheerfully tells me my comments have been accepted and held be approval, and then they don't appear in the next several hours or in some cases at all. And don't anyone give me 'they have to be checked and then appear in batches' as a reason, because things that other people had posted well after mine had been posted *do* appear.
SP (55)
dear frogging friend. I too do suffer strange goings on. My posting @ 43 was created after the post @ 44.
And many of my posts these past few days have simply not come to light.
Shame that Stephen Hawking is not a frogger, one would assume that he would have perfectly reasonable explanation for this.
DiY..lost in space and time.
(also going to the dogs.....Gt. Yarmouth Stadium this eve! Basket meal included...so that where old dogs....)
Appy (53/54) How are yer teeth?
no 502s? What the hell is going on???
Aperitif (53,54),
Quick, bake a cake looking like a laptop, (or some shops actually sell such things).
"Bring back 502! Bring back 502! Bring back 502!"
- Only joking ;o)
Why are all my postings in a funny colour? I feel fine.
Eddie @ 58, but how are we to know? The 502s may or may not appear, but the ones that don't will be forever lost.
I'm glad *you* aren't getting them, but I couldn't comment about anyone else...
Appy, what sauce would you like with your laptop? I can knock up a very nice creamy pepper sauce if you'd like....
:)
Ed @ 61, don't worry, it isn't just your posts being a funny colour. The editors' comments on other threads have gone that way too, and it's the same on several other blogs: the Really Important People turn up looking darker blue.
Does it happen if you use some other computer, or is it the ones in the office?
Eddie (61) it's not just you. I noticed the same thing with Justin Webb's blog. It seems someone deep in the bowels of the IT centre that lies several floors beneath TV Centre has put some code into the system tat changes the background colour for any Beeb employees... Strange thing is, everyone's talking about how your posts are now on a deeper blue. To me, it looks more of a variation in grey......
Eddie: Is the colour change related to your voice do you think?
You're not telling me the blog is actually WORKING again, are you???
Well I'll be bloggered!
Fifi
oooo!!
da da-da da-da Da Da!!!
¬¬¬
way hay!!!
N-N how did you manage to do ¬ with your legs and how much alcohol did it involve? I'm sure they're not supposed to bend that way.....
Can I just say (if the 502 king will let me).....
Look, the refuge might be down but the cam is going strong at
dot camstreams dot com/
please come down, it's been very quiet lately
I have posted this elsewhere..
Izz xx
What do I need to take? A 'GCSE'? A BTEC? A degree? - what?
What is a Beach?
Life's a beach, whereon you fry.
xx
the forbidden one
No longer forbidden, but still 502'd
and again, and again, and again, AND AGAIN.and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again
Life's a beach, on which you fry
Life's a beach, on which you fry
Ed I,
So you had a contribution read out on Any Answers yesterday - but then I guess that as most Froggers have a nom-de-Frog, we would not know when their real name is used.
Just dropping by to share the wine and flowers that my neighbours brought, as a thank you for cat-sitting the lovely Lucy-puss last week.
There was also a rather unexpected hug... please form an orderly queue, and keep my glass topped up between times!
Fifi x
Ed (73) - puts me in mind of a song we used to sing in the scouts ... "I put my finger in a woodpecker's hole, and the woodpecker said 'God Bless My Soul!'" ect ect ad nauseam ... no idea why.
Sid
testing..1......2......
Hmmm, well I wrote something yesterday which was accepted but didn't appear. Maybe it's because I'm unqualified?
What's this? Snow? On the beach? Hmmm ...
Sid
DeepJohn (76),
Aye, but he mispronounced my name and my prose style made him stumble...;-)
I'd have done it far better of course!
xx
ed
Only God can make random selections.
To become qualified, do we have to attend a Looniversity?
Hmm. Last night's visit to the beach (77) was barred by a big portcullis with the numbers " five oh two" painted rather untidily across the front.
And yet, it has appeared.
What'll happen to this one, I wonder?
Fifi
Why is Unqualified Loon No 2 linking to Annasee's website? It is Annasee showing her true colours ;-)
502.....am I bloggered?
I tried posting five times yesterday, yet my lack of qualifications clearly stood againt me .....
GM, Are you doing a Catherine Tate?
"Look at my typeface... Am I bloggered?"
Deepthought, (85). Erm, perhaps I won't be applying for MI5 just yet...
(Signed, Anonymous Unqualified Loon No 2)
(79)....wt*?......09:41....I think not.....
PLEASE FIX DIS BLOG
btw Sid...RSPB and the Gilwell lot are after you!
Is it? Could it be? Is the Frog working?
We shall see...
;o) []
hi peeps....maybe (possibly) it's fixed.....again.
Dinner this eve is roast chicken breasts wrapped in best bacon served with roast pots, sprouts (fresh off the stalk), carrots (freshly dug) and peas (frozen).........yum
DIWyman(92) The no-meat alternative is fresh salmon, cauliflower cheese, mashed potatoes and dwarf green beans. Also yum ;o)
(69) GM
yes I know its *way* back up there, but I cant get through. I am sorely tempted to offer to eat my laptop, but will resist just one final ultimate last waffer thin....
anyway, what i was going to reply to GM was as follows:
"just lucky I guess" but even I have difficulty following all those trains of thought through so many 502s.
So chin up, and cheers!!
n-n
FFred - How very dare you!
Can we try lots of postings to a blogspot dot com blog site. I want to know of its just the Beebs site that can't cope.
That posted quickly! Who fancies a pedalo race?
I keep on leaving drinks out for you but nothing gets through from my little candlelit bungalow. Gossipmistress an extra big crate for YOU. That was so sweet of you! Did we really deserve 5 out of 5? Well thank you anyway...and Gillian and Fifi xxx
Morning all....
Coffee machine is brewing, and the tea urn is filled up. Anyone want a game of frisbee?
~~~~~~~~~~~--
Working?
Mollyxx
Is it safe? Have those nasty 502 monsters gone yet?.....
.......if so can I just grab one of these comfy hammocks for a while? Had a horrible dentist visit last night (won't bore you with the details, all I will say is I needed 3 injections!), so am feeling a bit sorry for myself today. Any mushy/soft snacks going???
Fiona-
Realise I was away for your B-Day, so, hands on ears -
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIONA!!!!
There- howzatt?......
Mollyxx
shhh....... 12.00-
(working!!!!!.........) ;-))
Mollyxx
Fiona - Ouch! Hope it's starting to feel better. Just as well that I brought some butternut squash soup down for lunch - and no crusty bread! Help yourself and take a big bowlful back to your hammock.
There's plenty left for everyone else!
xx
Thank you Molly xx
And thanks for the soup Perky, that was just what I needed x
Hello All,
How are you all today? I haven't been to the beach for a few days. I'll leave you to wonder whether that's because I've been 502d beyond belief or I've been out purchasing a new laptop to replace the one I had to consume...
Ffred(99).....~~~~~~~~~~~~Gottit!
It took ages to get here, but I've got the frisbee. Who lives in this direction?
~~~~~~~~~~~......
Stewart M(97) Do we still have time for a race? I'll put in some practice, anyway......
#-# #-# #-# #-# #-# #-#......
Gillianian,
~~~~~~~~ thunk
what??!!!
It's now dark!!! More like russian roulette wheel, how about I dangle some fairy lights round the edge:
~'~"~'~"~'~"~"~'~"~'~'~.......
n-n
[is *this* this limit?? Playing i-frisbee in the dark with the wee disc lit up by dangling fairy lights....have I finally flipped? ]
[of course not!!! just a bang on the head....]
"~'~"
~'~"~ ~'~'~
"~"~'~" '~'
.....~'~"~" '~'~
"~'~
hazzah!
oooh i like th lights n-n :)
now lets try bouncer:
~'
~"~' ~'~"~'~'~.....
~'~'~" ~'~"~'
~"~' ~'~"
~"~"
Actually, Appy (106), I was wondering if it might have something to do with you having somewhere else to live? Or is that not a topic for polite conversation . . . at your end . . . if you see what I mean.
[Dives under a beach towel to hide, on the off-chance that my life is in danger]
H.
oh it was so beautiful in the preview. try again:
~"~' ~'~"~'~'~.....
Now I'll take myself off to a hammock to hide.
~~~~~~~~~
wafted gently over to you!!!
Gillian
##-#-#-#-#-#- Catching you. And that Frisbee~~~~~~~~~~~~ Splash!
Oh Humph (111), Would that it were so! Believe me, as soon as I find somewhere I'll be down here on the beach shouting excitedly about it...
Ap, when you do find somewhere, I hope that there will be a horse warming party.
I've been back an hour from a really REALLY good music night. I'll be another hour before I can wind down enough to sleep.
See you lovely folks at the CransleyCam??
Click on my name to get there!
Fifi
OK, clearly I missed all the webcam action earlier. Hey ho!
Night all.
Fxx
Aren't you hot stuff already Horse (116)?
Perky - how's the chocolate fast going? I'm still managing despite my boss dangling chocolate in front of my nose yesterday. Do you have a special chocolate treat planned for Dec 1st?
Are we going to have some christmas decorations on the beach this year? And if so, are we going to do discreet and bijou or bold & brassy?
hi peeps.....is it fixed?
v v v under the weather at the moment with a nasty chesticle infection, so haven't been frogging as much as I shud. Dr Locum Quack has patted me on the head given me lots of 500 mg capsules of Amoxicillin and advised rest.
Fat chance!
GMX (120)
Bold and brassy does it for me everytime.
whips balls and tinsel out..tah dah
~~~***o***~~~***o***~~~***o***~~~
Did anyone else hear "Word of Mouth's" celebration of Redneck Woman?
let's leave the Christmas lights lit on the porch all year!
(WoM is orth a listenagain)
xx
ed
A woman is like your shadow; follow her, she flies; fly from her, she follows.
-- Chamfort
Well... let's see if it's safe to come out this morning.... DIY how's yer chest? Benefitting from some warm sea air?
DIY - hope you feel better soon. I've left you some soothing black currant cordial next to the kettle - suggest having it hot with perhaps just a dash of something alcoholic.
Fresh teas and coffees for the hale and hearty in the hopes that there are still some who will brave the blog gremlins.
good morning peoples of Engaland..we would like to be thanking you for the game of football on the beach last evening.
We offer our deep sadness to the peoples of Engaland that not only cannot they play the game but their national stadium has a pitch worse than my cousins pig farm.
But as being a consolation..your 502 is a very good
Good morning! And how are we today?
Sorry you're not well DIWyman (((((x)))))
Crikey, what's that smell??
DIWyman, it's you - you've been rubbing V*ck on your chest!
No offence, but I'll move this hammock a bit further away..... ;o)
Morning all.
Get well soon DIY. :-)
Anyone got a decent joke to liven up this Thursday morning?
good morning peoples of Engaland..we would like to be thanking you for the game of football on the beach last evening.
We offer our deep sadness to the peoples of Engaland that not only cannot they play the game but their national stadium has a pitch worse than my cousins pig farm.
But as being a consolation..your 502 is a very good
GMX and Anne P....thanks for the sympathy and yes black currant cordial will go down a treat.
A couple of days of antibiotics should do the trick!
In the mean time their is a certain resident of Yarm that is also in need of tea an sympathy this morn......bad luck Steve, but i think you were stitched up.
Hello, all. I haven't had sand between my toes for a few days now, thanks (!) to the unmentionable number.
DIY, get well soon. I had a chestish thingy recently and the antibiotics helped.
But perhaps you might reconsider the wording of your 122, even though I love the decorations.
Gillian (126)
hi..thanks for the frugs, Vic has had to nip down to the shops so the smell will subside!
Fran O (130)...whoops!
next time i shall leave the tinsel in its box up in the loft.
Ap (116) - When your fetlocks are blowing in the wind the cooling effect is remarkable!
Ap (127) - A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over.
Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing at the door. It didn't take long to realise the man is drunk.
"Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
"No, get lost, it's half past three. I was in bed." says the man and slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost??"
"But the guy was drunk." says the husband. "It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push??" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts: "Where are you?" And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing."
What's this I saw in the Metro newspaper about Evan Davies being appointed to the Today prog in place of Carolyn Quinn? What does it all mean? We need some insider gossip on this one. Carolyn? Are you there? Tell us all!
Ben had been drinking in a pub all night. The bartender finally called time. So Ben stood up to leave and promptly fell flat on his face. Again he tried to stand up and the same thing happened.
Thinking that the fresh air may sober him up he crawled outside and tried to haul himself upright with the aid of a lamp post. No joy, same thing, he collapsed in an untidy heap.
Flat on his face he decided that he would crawl home. It was only a couple of streets and finally after, stopping of for a Kosher Kebab, he made it through his front door and up the stairs to bed.
Giving it one more try he pulled himself upright but quickly fell onto the bed where he fell asleep.
Next morning he is woken by Yente standing over him yelling 'So you've been out drinking again?'
'What make you say that dearest?' Ben asks putting on an innocent look.
Yente replied 'The Dog and Duck called.......you left your wheelchair there again.'
I fank u
And Carolyn - how are you getting on with the chocolate fast? Perky & I are still with you!
During our lovemaking my wife always wants to talk to me.
Last evening she called me from a hotel.
I fank u
Yesterday I came home from work earlier than usual to find a bloke jogging up our street stark naked.
Thinking it was for charity I called 'Why you doin' that mate?'
'Cos you came home early mate' was his reply as he sprinted round the corner.
I fank u
In an effort to curb malicious....no it wasn't. I know him!
Benny and Victor are deep in conversation.....'So Victor, how's your sex life?'
'Oh, nothing special,' sighs Victor, 'I'm having Social Security Sex.'
Intigued, Benny says 'So what is this Social Security sex?'
'You know, Benny, ......you get a little each month, but not enough to live on'
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Appy (129) : Just for you...
The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named Governmentium.
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause an action that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium...an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
... Humph, did you know this?
Fifi
Over coffee Betty says to her friend Hetty, 'My Moshe is useless.'
'Why do you say that?' says Hetty.
'Oi vay, it's this foreplay, he is such a shmuck, it's a total waste of time. all he manages to do is make me feel like a light switch someone's trying to find in the dark.
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'Noah, pay attention,' says the Lord, 'for the next flood, I want no animals on board, just fish. And not any old fish, but only carp, preferably Koi, in big glass tanks.'
'And this time,' says the Lord, 'think big. Five decks at the least.'
'No problemo my divine entity,' says Noah, 'I read you loud and clear...what you want is a multi storey carp ark'
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DIY
Sorry you aren't too chipper.
Mmmm-swimming without speedos?
Won't do that again, in November, will you....
Good jokes.
Oh! DiY-(141))-felling better then!
Mollyxx
DIY - get well soon - pleeeeeeeease......!!!
;p
Thanks all, DIY especially :-) You are all very silly!
morning peeps, 'tis Friday and the weekend is nearly here.
Chesticle feeling clearer and coughing is subsiding so lets have a big hand for Alexander Fleming!
anyhoo down to more serious things:-
News flash just in from Jerusalem.
A jobbing builder that was helping renovate one of the city's oldest houses had a shock today. He fell through a rotten floor into a previously undescovered cellar. As the dust settled he was horrified to find a skeleton lying in the corner. He was further amazed to see that the skeleton is wearing a blue and white sash, and although somewaht faded, Solly can make out some writing on it.
'ALL ISRAEL HIDE-AND-SEEK CHAMPION 1962'
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1st attempt eaten by them 502 monsters!