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from a mobile. I'm guessing it's from Hugh. It's certainly sound advice.
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Sage advice indeed!
Isn't Mandarin wonderful?
First character: Couple in lustful activity in bedroom.
Second character: Definitely a building. Just in case you were in any doubt of where we were.
Third character: Individual running away pretty fast - i.e., there's an emergency here, folks!
Fourth character: The sprinkler system starting, folks ....
Fifth character: Here at the telephone exchange the operator puts through an anxious call.
Sixth character: Well, if you were in any doubt, it's a fire!
Seventh character: Hotel guest eyes the lift doors. Cross on door indicates: Keep out!
Eight character: Alternative means of escape clearly indicated ......
Well, that's my interpretation, anyway.
Those of us who have always been contrary may struggle to resist the temptation. Do you know how often it is aflame? -- I mean to avoid it at those particular times.
RJD, congrats!
I recognise the owner of that strapline - and I claim my 5 pounds.
When I worked on the top floor of what was then Peterborough's only multi-storey office block (it's now flats) I was always irritated by how long it took to read -- let alone de-code -- the notice next to our quickest apparent means of escape:
" IN EVENT OF
FIRE AVOID USE
OF LIFT "
Hugh's is much clearer!
Fifi
I love a really good mistranslation. How about these;
Athens Hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 daily.
Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
Copenhagen airline ticket office: WE take your bags and send them in all directions.
Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.
Finnish washroom faucet: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
Austria: a sign in a hotel catering to skiers read Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
Germany: in a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
Germany's Black forest sign: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Istanbul hotel corridor sign: Please to evacuate in hall especially which is accompanied by rude noises.
Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Japanese information booklet about a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of war in your room, please control yourself.
Kyushi, Japan Detour sign: Stop: Drive Sideways.
Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
London department store: Bargain basement upstairs.
London office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking.
Majorcan shop entrance: Here speeching American.
Moscow hotel lobby across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Moscow hotel room door: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Roman doctor's office: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Sweden: in the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
Thailand: an ad for donkey rides asked Would you like to ride on your own ass?.
Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.
Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.
Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
Yugoslavia: a sign in a hotel read The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. Turn to her straightaway.
Yugoslavia: in the Europa Hotel, in Sarajevo, you will find this message on every door: Guests should announce the abandonment of theirs rooms before 12 o'clock, emptying the room at the latest until 14 o'clock, for the use of the room before 5 at the arrival or after the 16 o'clock at the departure, will be billed as one night more..
Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
Enjoy!
Si.
Big Sis (2): Wonderful! Just wonderful :))
Si (6): Great list (obviously I'm channeling silver-fox)
FFred: There's a slice of cake for you, too, in my little cupboard.
Loved your picture, btw. I can feel the heat!
Thanks FFred. Just a cut-and-paste job (obviously).
I thought you might have been channelling our fellow Frogger Roberto A-G.....
And you're quite right to praise BigSis for her original work of translation.
Si.
Oh Fred, and Si, you are both v. kind. But, Si, you posting is much the funnier .... I do love these translations and will try to find some that I've come across over the years I was in 'the business' (travel, that is).
Si - I remember my mother telling me some of these fifty years ago. How we laughed.
BoF;
I thought I'd already made the point that they are not my originals....... nor did I claim them to be 'discovererd' in the last 12 hours.
But thanks for the cynicism. Keep coming back. Your village must be missing you.
Si.
Si (12) - Hahaha. ... I'm going to use that!
Box of Frogs: Haven't you heard of Google?
Simon: But aren't you secretly glad that YOU weren't around 50 years ago to hear them? ;o)
Thanks Si -- right up my street and I have giggled and giggled: I'd only heard about four or five of them before. Now being fowarded to my parents: they like this kind of thing... :-)
RJD; You're welcome. Use away. Don't ignore the trolls, shoot them. And then rejoice over the corpse.
BigSis; Google it was indeed. And Yes.
Appy; Also welcome. Hope that they enjoy it.
My personal favourites are the second one from Moscow and the Zurich hotel one.
Si.
Not me, Guv. Must be Tara.
Big Sister - thank you for that wonderful translation, providing much needed laughter.
Other lift advice I have seen recently (in Damascus):
Do Not Use Lift
In Event of Fire
or
Earthquake
oh, and simply on the back of a hotel door in France:
"In the event of fire, exit, panicking"
Hi Hugh,
My special thanks if you haven't seen them already for all your reports, especially Palestine & China.
ed
26/02/2007 at 17:38:49 GMT
Malicious warning!
Oh - he doesn't make you call him Guv, does he Hugh? Does he think he's Helen Mirren then?
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Hugh, you are most kind, and I'm glad it brought laughter. I was somewhat inspired by the attempts by the Times recently to 'educate' its readers.
But I just love your French translation. Some of the best come from just across the water. However, we're also pretty awful at translating the other way, so I'm sure there are whole websites out there 'paying us back'.
Hugh, you are most kind, and I'm glad it brought laughter. The 'much needed' bit is intriguing - No doubt we'll hear more about that if it's relevant.
My translation was somewhat inspired by the attempts by the Times recently to 'educate' its readers.
But I just love your French translation. Some of the best come from just across the water. However, we're also pretty awful at translating the other way, so I'm sure there are whole websites out there 'paying us back'.
I am surprised this was not found in the US. litigation here is so bad that everything now comes with several warnings designed for people whos loss to the Gene pool would not be missed.
The classics are of course
Peanuts containing warnings "may contain nuts"
Coffee coming in cups marked "Warning - Contains hot Beverage".
David Jones (23) That puts me in mind of those helpful comments printed on food packaging......there's a picture of the food dollopped out onto a plate, with ''serving suggestion'' printed underneath.
Gillian, in our house parsley is known as 'serving suggestion' in honour of those packets of chicken kiev.
Fifi ;oD
Big Sis (2) - Hugh and Tara are just back in the office, and Hugh pointed out your interpretation. Apologies for not seeing it sooner. Very funny. And as it turns out the photo came from Tara. Hugh has also brought me a card with my name on it in Chinese characters. The two characters for my name apparently mean: Fair and Energetic.
Which just goes to show...
David Jones (23)
I was just wondering if the mug has the words "Warning - Contains hot Beverage" written on it, would you be allowed to let the beverage go cold and then sue the company under the Trades Description Act?
H.
Big Sis (2) - Hugh and Tara are just back in the office, and Hugh pointed out your interpretation. Apologies for not seeing it sooner. Very funny. And as it turns out the photo came from Tara. Hugh has also brought me a card with my name on it in Chinese characters. The two characters for my name apparently mean: Fair and Energetic.
Which just goes to show...
Eddie:
Many thanks for that. Fairly Energetic, would that be? Or Energetically Fair?
Can we see your card? I've become strangely intrigued by Chinese characters.
And do thank Hugh and Tara, we've loved their contributions.