This just in:
West Midlands Police say that a spate of thefts from cars in Coventry has probably been caused by an urban myth. Criminals mistakenly believe that Ford car stereos contain a chip which allows people to receive free satellite TV.
Leaving that aside - I'm in a bit of a tizz. Torn between worrying about Britney and fretting about the Oscars. Monday's show will come live from the Red Carpet - where we'll have the post show buzz, and many of our guests will have a similar buzz. Dame Helen Mirren will be reading the headlines (subject to negotiation) and Dame Ellen (who's hosting this year) will be my special Red Carpet guest.
I've been thinking a bit about rugby shirts. Technically it's sponsorship, and I think there's probably a way of me making some entirely illegal money out of this. I hope it doesn't scupper my dream of being ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ Chairman ("Let The Healing Begin"). Everyone else has pulled out of the running. Can't imagine why.
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I thought it had all gone a bit quiet in the Chairmanship stakes, but if everyone else has pulled out then there's no need to carry on a high profile campaign I suppose.
And Eddie, shouldn't you just wear a Scotland rugby shirt? Although please not on the buzzy red carpet when you are talking to dames - DJ, or a sequinned creation from Versace are the only things that will be credible there!!
Chairman Mair:
Please dont' think too much about Ms. Spears. I could have sworn you went for a Britney yourself a few months ago .... But your locks appear to have grown again. From Lancaster to LA, did you say? How will the team survive without you next week? And how will we?
I think I've got the code for today's gear, by the way - All the buzzing around! Very clever!
If you do start getting sponsorship money for the rugby shirts, can I become your agent? Or I could charge a consultancy fee for giving you the idea?
Chairman Mair:
I forget to add this to the last posting. I can arrange a postcard for Los Angeles, if you wish.
All part of the service.
Let the healing begin (or, my current version, Let the heating begin ....)
Britney Spears and the Shears - Very interesting how people are reacting to this story. This is an interesting link:
I seem to remember that, many many years ago, there was a bit of a furore about Jean Seberg's shorn locks for her role in St. Joan. Having now double checked that, I see it was 50 years ago. People have such strange reactions to 'hairy issues'.
Incidentally, it was a bit sad looking at Jean Seberg again. A beautiful woman, and a tragic life.
Eric, re the rugby shirts & sponsorship. Shouldn't you just promise them "Match of the Day" when you become Chairman? If they pay you enough first, of course. Not sure about the term "Illegal Money" either. Such a negative term. Far better to have enough self -belief, that if the money comes to you, you have sanctified it by your ownership, therefore, it is legal. It's all a question of attitude.
Re Eddies need to become a media magnate.
The more I think of it the more I think he wants to become a Richard Branson. He had transport, i.e. Limos for hire at regional TV centres. (its more impressive than Richards Trains and less carbin footprint than richards Planes) He has sports sponsorship on his rugby shirts. (I'm waiting for the sky sports logo). He has Radio, PM, AQ,AA! He did have occasional TV coverage or has he given that up. Not sure of his music empire or Telephone network yet but I'm sure there will be plans. Should we get him a big baloon?
Eric, is there any chance that a bit of the buzz could be transmitted via the radio? I'm in need of a bit of excitement just now.
I say, I've just found a newsletter in the inbox! But it's ok, it's Tuesday's, not today's. Phew, thought I'd caught up there for a moment. I'd so hate to be part of the common herd, reading the current news. So much more interesting to stand alone (actually, there might be a few of us, come to think of it...) with my day-old newsletters. And it reminds me in a sort of sweet nostalgic way of the programme from the previous day.
Annasee (8) Tuesday's? Would that be Tuesday from this week, this month or this year? The number of possible Tuesdays increases with each possibility.
H.
Humph - you're right. I just assumed Tuesday's meant yesterday, but it could have been any of those you mention. And frankly, Eddie doesn't always make it terribly clear what's going to be on the programme (possibly he doesn't know) so sometimes it could be a sort of generic newsletter for any PM. But I don't mind. Someone cared enough to send it. That's all that matters...
Mmm,re- reading this thread from Eddie, I'm wondering if "Live from the red carpet" might actually mean - "We've found a bit of red carpet in the props store & we'll put it in the studio on Monday night when we've got the dust & mouse droppings off it". Call me cynical, but did Eddie actually say "America"?
Annasee (10), Shouldn't that be 'the dust and dead mice'? -- Oh, no wait -- that was a grey carpet...
Aperitif - top marks for trivia memory! SO found a dead sparrow on our front lawn last night, but we are disinclined to blame the cat this time, since he never goes round there. It might have flown into a window.Maybe I should have taken a photo for Eric's collection?
More completely unnecessary and frivolous use of air transport! Aren't there any folk who actually live over there who can handle a microphone?
Grrrrr!
ed
I noticed that no one had remarked on Eddies first paragraph:
'West Midlands Police say that a spate of thefts from cars in Coventry has probably been caused by an urban myth. Criminals mistakenly believe that Ford car stereos contain a chip which allows people to receive free satellite TV.'
I did recall this being discussed with a technical bod a while back on the Jeremy Vine show when they explained to the uneducated that they were wasting their time removing the radio's.
There is very little on Google about it until you put in words like 'Saterlite' (with that spelling)
Does that tell us anything about the thieves I wonder?
Annasee, cheers. And yes, perhaps you should. He could do a special section on Dead Things...
Jonnie, where did this idea come from, do you think? I wonder if we could start our own urban myth? Someting like, hanging about on the Blog Beach makes one more likely to win the lottery? Hmm, I'll have to work on that one.
Eddie, I have finally had the time to listen to your AQ from last weekend, and I have to say that you were absolutely masterful. If you run the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ with the grace, intelligence and wit that you displayed, then the competitors for your chairmanship do not stand a chance. I particularly loved your "Hands up in the audience, who thinks public consultation is a waste of time?" joke.
Why hasn't my reply to Annasee and Jonnie shown up?
And why did I get the offensively speedy message for this even though it's the first time I've posted for hours?
Such mysteries.
Hey Appy - it's there! And I'm sure it wasn't a few minutes ago!
Re the "dead things" section - our last holiday in Geneva resulted in daughter taking great snaps of 1) a dead red squirrell
2) a dead shrew
3) a large dead rat in the centre of Geneva
4) a guillotine (not for paper!)
It was a lovely holiday. Do you think I should send the photos in for Eddie?
Annasee - I think he might start getting worried about you if you do!!
Oh absolutely definitely yes, Annasee. Although you do realise you'll get yourself a reputation...
Aren't children just interested in the strangest things? :-)
Oh come on! -- I replied to Annasee days ago. Where's it gone?!
Harrumph! These moderators love to make me look silly!