Everybody needs disabled Neighbours
Monkey's obviously too busy to watch daytime telly, but his spies tell him that a blindie has recently infiltrated the sunny soap world of Neighbours.
A true tale of heart-rending bravery is unfolding in Ramsay Street, as heartthrob Stuart struggles with sight loss following his heroic rescue of girlfriend Sindi from a fire at the Coffee Shop.
Yesterday's episode saw poor Sindi crying cos now she'll have to look after the wretched Stu for ever and ever (just to reinforce Stu's helplessness he was caught stumbling around and falling over in the street).
But it's not all doom and gloom - Sindi's discovered that she can still play sexy 'games' with Stu's remaining senses - which have miraculously become super-sensitive now that he's blind. Oh yawn.