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Now, of course, all of us know about the momentous events that are happening on Friday 1 October, as Part 3 of the DDA finally comes into force. But seeing as how TV soaps rarely reflect real life - and continue to feature few, if any, disabled people - you wouldn't expect it to come up in the scripts of, say, Coronation Street, would you?

Wrong.

According to one of Crippled Monkey's colleagues in the office, an episode of Corrie on Monday 13 September featured a character called Jamie Baldwin threatening to 'grass up' a local shopkeeper called Dev Alahan because his shop doesn't meet the new disability access requirements.

So is this true? Did it really happen? Has disability access really made the soaps? Do drop me a line at ouch@bbc.co.uk if you know more about this. I don't watch the soaps, y'see - more of a nature documentaries monkey myself.

It has come to our attention that the Disability Rights Commission (DRC) is perhaps lacking in knowledge regarding accessibility of shops.

The DRC is currently trying to educate people as to what the DDA extension thing on October 1 will mean to them.

But in the FAQ Details section of their website, we noticed some extremely fishy .

Small business: I am a corner shop owner in Southall. What are the DRC asking me to do before October 2004?

We are asking you to find out about what you can do to make your shop more accessible. Have a think about how you would serve disabled customers - you probably have some already. Think about what you might do to open up aisles, deal with a big step into the shop or simply put a seal by the counter.

"put a seal by the counter"? How is this going to help disabled people in their quest to access shops? Maybe if you put an otter by the fire exit that would help too? Or a dolphin by the cash register? Huh? A whale by the shelving?

Monkey is embarrassed to admit that it took a colleague to point out to me that this was a typo and should have had a T at the end. But in the meantime, think of all the small businesses out there who have gone to the trouble of installing expensive aquariums. Er, OK, I'll stop now.

It's been a quiet few days in the weblog corner of Ouch's orange-walled office, but just to reassure you that we haven't simply fallen asleep, I bring you the most tenuous disability-related blog post ever.

Fans of wheelchair-using TV detectives (so, er, that'll just be Ironside, then) may like to know that there's an (yeah, surprise surprise, it IS Ironside). Browse around and read about the various episodes, or gasp at the portraits of Raymond Burr (not a wheelchair user, obviously) sitting in his wheelchair! I like , personally: it's a nice shot of him taken from above (the way all wheelchair users like to be photographed - NOT!) in the middle of what looks like a shooting target. Now is it just me, or is there something distinctly dodgy about this picture?!

More news on wheelchair-using detectives as I get it, then. So, um, it could be rather a long wait. Don't hold your breath.

Crippled Monkey is in a bad mood, and when I'm in a bad mood I make it my mission to seek out examples of awful journalistic writing about disability. Because it's easy and it's fun, that's why. Let's see what's out there on the web today, shall we?

screams the headline on RedNova News (who they?), before going on to say:

"A dozen blind students from across the United States are ... working on a project most don't associate with the visually impaired - launching a NASA rocket."

Well, it's true - launching a NASA rocket isn't a project I normally associate with visually impaired students. But then I don't associate it with other students either. My little non-blind nephew, Billy Monkey, doesn't launch NASA rockets in his Physics lessons at school. I'd say it's pretty exceptional if any students - whether or not they're visually impaired - are busy launching NASA rockets. Mind you, if it leads to the first blind astronaut on the moon, then that will be very cool indeed.

And as if that wasn't enough science.

A in a Canadian newspaper questioned why hasn't yet won the Nobel Prize (yeah, we've been wondering that in the Ouch office, too). It went on at length about various complicated scientific things to do with black holes, and I had to give up reading halfway through because I didn't understand it. But what struck me more was the opening paragraph, which referred to the Prof - the man whom, let's not forget, Ouch readers voted their Great Disabled Briton - as "poor, dear Stephen Hawking". As if that wasn't enough, it continued the treatment by calling him: "the physics celebrity who played his own crippled, wheelchair-bound, voice-synthesizing self both on Star Trek and The Simpsons".

Still, if you're like me, and you're waiting for the predictable line about him being "a genius trapped inside a broken and shattered body", then you'll be surprised to learn that they didn't quite manage to reach those giddy levels of cliché. Amazing, really.

Monkey arrived back in the Ouch office this morning to be greeted by an inbox full of email. Once I'd sifted out the adverts for, um, rude things that I'd better not talk about on a ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ website, I found that there were three emails from disabled bloggers telling me about their sites, so be sure to go and check out , and .

Which reminds me - I'm still convinced that there are loads more crip-bloggers out there in the blogosphere. So if you haven't done so yet, drop me a line and get yourself added to our list of favourite blogs. Well, what are you waiting for?!

Sssshhh, don't tell everyone, but the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ has soft launched Audio Description (AD) on digital satellite. It's due for a proper rollout this autumn - and will soon be joined by ITV and Channel 4, also new to this platform. AD is currently only available on the London and England feeds, but you can receive these wherever you are, so flick around and take a look.

Five, Sky One, Sky One Mix, Sky Sports and Sky Movies have been broadcasting AD on some of their programmes for a little while now. Watch this space for more news.

Meantime, if you're a visually impaired Londoner and you have a digital satellite receiver, you can watch these programmes from the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ right now, with glorious extra narration to help you suss what's going on during the long silent pauses.

If you don't know how to access Audio Description on your satellite receiver, follow these simple instructions:

Press the 'Services' button on your remote control and then select option number 4, 'System Setup'. Next, hit option number 3, 'Languages & Subtitles'. When there, set 'Favourite Language / Audio' to read 'Narrative', and you'll receive Audio Description free of charge on your box on all channels that have that service.

AD is also available on certain Freeview boxes, look at the for further details.

Fans of Esther Rantzen or, more recently, Gaby Roslin will know that images of disabled children have frequently been used to tug at the nation's heart-strings. But that's nothing when compared to a disabled kiddie seemingly being used as part of the defence in a criminal trial.

All you desperately fashionable indie fans will know of The Libertines and the saga of their troubled singer Pete Doherty, who's been in and out of the band because of his drug addiction. In the past couple of days, he's been in court on the charge of possessing a flick knife - which normally results in a custodial sentence at Her Majesty's (Dis)Pleasure. However, according to a story in , the magistrate was swayed towards handing down a four-month suspended jail sentence - thus allowing Doherty to walk free from court - after he heard how the singer had performed at the bedside of a disabled girl.

OK, that wasn't the only factor in the court's ruling, but if you were cynical (like I am) you could all too easily imagine the tears in the magistrate's eyes as he learned of this pop star's selfless act. Sniff.

Monkey is temporarily lost for words.

³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ News Online's section has just celebrated its first anniversary.

As part of the birthday celebrations, they have revealed the published on the site over the past year. At the top of the pile with the numero uno story is Ouch's very own Victoria Lucas, with an article entitled . So all our congratulations go out to Victoria! That's fantastic stuff!