Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It's at times like these, with the snow banking up on the eves and an arctic wind blowing through the hall, that Paper Monitor turns to Boris Johnson for answers.
The blond-haired one has been on the blower to his old friend, the "learned astrophysicist" Piers Corbyn, who that we could be entering a "mini ice age". It's all to do with solar flares, apparently.
"It doesn't seem as nuts as it did five years ago," says Johnson.
What does, Boris? What does?
Boris's old friend and so-called rival David Cameron dominates the Telegraph front page (beneath a plug for the mayor's latest column).
The prime minister's warnings about a decade of al-Qaeda terrorism also take up prime position on the The Times and Guardian front pages, relegating the weather to the inside pages.
Barack Obama's inauguration provides a front page pic for the heavies, but the tabloids can't seem to decide what the top story is.
The Daily Mail tends to go its own way on days like this - and it does not disappoint, with its front page exclusive: .
It is not immediately clear whether this is an order to concerned parents or an expression of outrage on civil liberties grounds.
But then PM remembered the Mail's latest campaign to protect children from dangers lurking online.
Claire Perry, the PM's "childhood guru", who says it is OK for parents to check their childrens' mobiles and computers for "harmful" content, gets the wholehearted backing of the Mail in an editorial.
The paper urges Mr Cameron, having given Mrs Perry the job, to "back her all the way".
It doesn't get any better than that for a junior minister.
Why is there no similar call for the PM to listen to reason about a new ice age, in the Daily Telegraph's snow-themed editorial, wonders PM.
Maybe next year.