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Paper Monitor

14:05 UK time, Wednesday, 9 January 2013

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

So David Bowie is back in the charts with Where Are We Now? - his first release in 10 years. How do the salivating rock critics of Fleet Street describe his new song?

It gets from the Independent:

It's a lush ballad of watery, reverbed guitar, like misty eyes, carried by the enervated, dolorous beat of one who doesn't get around as nimbly as he used to.
The vulnerable vocal reminds us that this is a man of pensionable age, and the subtle touches of auto-tuning applied to the chorus add almost imperceptibly to the general feeling of fragility, one of the more innovative uses of this ubiquitous sonic meme.

The Daily Mail's Christopher Stevens is :

He has dwindled to little more than a pale echo of his Seventies glory days... There will, of course, be a round of forced smiles and hearty reviews from middle-aged critics who grew up with the classic vinyl LPs: in other words, lifelong fans like me.

The Sun recruits Boy George for expert comment:

It's sentimental and personal and honest.

And the Guardian has a :

It's too soon for me to tell whether I'll love the song as much as the others... But I like the sound of it. His voice sounds slightly less majestic, slightly older, perhaps inevitably. But that gives it a quality that suits the song magnificently.

Meanwhile, the Daily Star has a guide to dressing like the Duchess of Cambridge to mark her 31st birthday - rechristened "Princess Kate" by the tabloid - based on analysis of her outfits since her engagement.

The advice is to wear blue, shop at LK Bennett and carry a clutch bag with both hands.

Oh, and flash 8.2 teeth when smiling. Just like Paper Monitor.

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