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Paper Monitor

11:14 UK time, Friday, 17 August 2012

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Everyone loves a pun to start the day. "It could be queue" offers today's Sun.

The tabloid , Suffolk, where Adrian Bayford bought the winning Euro Millions lucky dip that landed him and wife Gillian their £148m windfall.

The paper manages to persuade the newsagent's co-owner Paresh Patel to show them CCTV footage of the ticket being bought. It is able, therefore, to publish a photo of "Britain's UNLUCKIEST man", the "mystery bloke" in a white shirt who was in the queue behind Bayford.

Paresh tells the paper: "That poor guy has no idea he was within touching distance of £148 million."

Paper Monitor doesn't like to quibble. Well, okay, we do. Did this mystery bloke actually buy a lottery ticket? There is no mention of this killer fact.

If not, and he just popped in for a loaf of Mother's Pride and a pint of milk, that's not unlucky. It's a whole different purchasing universe. His queuing position is irrelevant. As Mark Twain probably once said, you've got to be in it to win it.

Patel also reveals that "Adrian is a top guy" who comes in every day to buy sweets for his kids and "his favourite paper, The Sun." But of course, suddenly it all makes sense.

Paper Monitor particularly enjoys the line: "The Patels get no payment from Camelot for selling the winning ticket".

The paper seems to be implying that by dint of running the newsagent's, the Patels should get their cut of the £148 million.

Shouldn't they get something, though?

Erm, nope. I guess selling winning lottery tickets is an occupational hazard.

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