Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
In tribute to the sterling work of the problem page agony aunts:
Dear ersatz-Deidre (Sun)
I am a naysayerish sort of person and have long vocally dismissed the Olympics as a load of old cobblers - as well as a waste of money. But now I am secretly full of excitement and joy and long to join in the hubbub at the water-cooler about Alistair Brownlee. How can I reveal my change of heart?
Ersatz-Deidre says: The easiest way out of this is to say that the Olympics misery guts was in fact your long-lost brother who took over your life while you were on holiday but has now gone back home. Read my leaflet Inventing a Long-Lost Brother.
And over in the Daily Star:
Dear ersatz-Jane
I'm the sports minister of a largish country in Oceania that isn't doing very well at the Olympics. We really put sport on a metaphorical pedestal, but none of our sportspeople have been able to get near an actual pedestal recently. What should I do?
Ersatz-Jane writes: It's important not to get too fixated on this. Why not focus on the way your economy has outperformed much of the rest of the developed world recently? Or how about increasing your cultural output so sport plays second fiddle?