Paper Monitor
10:38 UK time, Friday, 3 August 2012
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
To be sure, Paper Monitor has read plenty of Olympics hyperbole over the past week.
But none of it has quite matched in today's Times:
We love Jess because Jess is Jerusalem: beautiful, talented, vulnerable, a perfect emblem of the green and pleasant land we long to live in. She is us. She is the people we would like to be, the place we would like to live in. Today Jessica Ennis starts the heptathlon at the Olympic Stadium: seven events that will fulfil a nation's dreams of what life really should be like. Or not, of course, and that uncertainty fills the event with the Tabasco of anxiety.
Jerusalem? Tabasco? Paper Monitor suspects Barnes' tongue is not entirely removed from his buccal cavity.
Equally gushing, however, is Bryony Gordon of the Daily Telegraph - this time on the subject of US swimmer and his, er, physical attributes.
"At London 2012, swimming is to women what beach volleyball is to men," Gordon insists. "After all the pictures of women's bottoms, we deserve the chance to lust after Lochte for a little while."
Paper Monitor wouldn't wish to spoil anyone's fun. But an instructive corrective to all the excitement comes in the Daily Mirror from none other than Olympic hero Bradley Wiggins.
As previously observed by this column, the cyclist's sideburns have been printed on the front of the nation's red tops, allowing fans to cut them out and stick them on their own faces to show support.
Wiggins, however, is nonplussed. He lives in the north-west of England and, he says, "everyone up there looks like that".
If self-effacement were an Olympic event, Team GB would surely be in line for another gold.
The 
