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16:13 UK time, Friday, 23 March 2012

It looks like questions are going to be asked of the Queen's security detail.
Greta Mackenzie, Miami, US

Re Paper Monitor's match-headlines-with-newspapers test, I thought the Daily Express headline would have something to do with how Princess Diana wouldn't have let this Budget happen.
Craig Williams

Dear Paper Monitor, your Test Paper brought me out in a cold sweat. You have listed six questions (1-6), but you have two answers to question 1 (a regular font 1 and a bold font 1) and the final answer is (apparently) to question 5. Your answer number 3 is, I'm almost certain, the correct answer to question 4 (I bought The Times to check).
It all rather reminds me of the Maths O Level paper I took way back in 1976. I'm sure you're right and I've failed (again) somehow, but could I ask for a remark, or do I need to re-sit in the summer? I hope I haven't let the class down or ruined your teaching averages.
Richard Martin, Doncaster, UK

I read this headline as "EU slaps a wife". Now that would have been news...
Henri, Sidcup

Dear RG (Thursday Letters), maybe if Mr Stelios Haji-Ioannou adopts the idea, we could have stand-up hairdressers and they could be called Easy (insert witty hair-based pun here). You'd probably have to supply your own scissors and holiday/any plans for the weekend-based polite chit-chat, though
StuKP, Warwickshire

Following his letter of 21/03/2012, may I suggest that Ray Lashley, Independent Guardian of Monitor Weights and Measures, re-designates himself as Ray Lashley, Independent Guardian of Monitor Weights and Measures (US Division)? Meters...
Bear, Purley Guv

Monitor note: Oh dear. A kind soul on Twitter has pointed out that someone is saying something nasty about on a blog. Should one click on the link to find out?

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