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Paper Monitor

10:45 UK time, Tuesday, 21 February 2012

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It's almost time for this year's Brit Awards, and, as ever, Paper Monitor hopes to enjoy the spectacle of the music industry bash going disastrously wrong, as when or, failing that, would settle for some

Paper Monitor may, however, be disappointed.

In the Daily Telegraph, Bernadette McNulty predicts that the 2012 ceremony will look to viewers.

"Held once more in the O2 arena, with James Corden hosting, many of the names that made the ceremony last year are once more holding court," she complains.

However, the Times offers cause for optimism. Rock critic Will Hodgkinson offers a which suggests the ceremony will be entertaining, though not necessarily for the right reasons.

Earnest singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran, noted for his teeny-bopper fanbase, may miss out on a gong because, Hodgkinson suggests, "critics can't take his mundane lyrics seriously, particularly when he raps about being a "ghetto man" - from the Suffolk town of Framlingham".

Willowy chanteuse Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine is likely to win something because "Enya is due for a comeback".

Noel Gallagher, formerly of Oasis, is most likely to tell the crowd: "I'm not arrogant. I just believe that I definitely am the best British male in the world."

With such a line-up, surely the spirit of Mick Fleetwood cannot be too far away?

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