Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It's hair day in the Daily Mail today.
Not bad hair, not good, not no hair, but all of the above.
Page three features David Beckham - WITH A BALD SPOT. The picture is alarming. The caption bears the legend "Beckham's neck tattoo points in the direction of his apparent bald patch".
But what's this in the third paragraph? "It could of course have been a trick of the light." Ah yes, what a charming "of course". It goes without saying that all celebrity news coverage could be a trick of the light.
At the bottom of the page, there's a serious health story about the cause of grey hair. It's stress apparently.
Although, it must be said that Paper Monitor sometimes finds reading page three of the Mail to be a stressful experience.
And that's not all. Even Richard Littlejohn is getting in on the hair topic.
He's enraged by an Albanian asylum seeker who's managed to get hair-loss treatment free on the NHS because his "thinning thatch" (Littlejohn's words) is causing him psychological problems.
Richard Littlejohn has a full head of hair.