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Paper Monitor

10:27 UK time, Monday, 4 July 2011

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It's hard being a women sometimes. That's Paper Monitor's conclusion after reading the newspapers today.

Just keeping up with the lingo alone is a full-time job. Take the Daily Mail's Life & Style section today. In the space of just a few pages it has three new words and phrases aimed at women or about them.

Firstly, there is the "". Apparently this is a very slim woman who claims to love food and eat a lot of it when in fact she practically starves herself to maintain a very slim figure. Next, there's "" - wrinkles around the knees. Another pet hate of women apparently. And finally, there's "male makeover syndrome", when a woman gets a new boyfriend and tries to change his style. Think Liz Hurley and Shane Warne - the Mail is.

Then there's the major fashion crime of wearing "barely there" tights, the guilty party being the Duchess of Cambridge. She gets her wardrobe for her tour of Canada analysed item by item today in the Times . She may have wowed in Roland Mouret and Erdem dresses, but what apparently "undermined" her wardrobe was the £5 pair of non-slip tights from John Lewis. A stripe from the foot section of the tights was visible above her Tabitha Simmons shoes at one point. The horror.

And then there's getting old. Take singer Sinead O'Connor, she is features in the Mirror and Daily Mail today for committing the sin of not looking like she did 21 years ago. in Manchester, she looks a bit older and rounder than she did when Nothing Compare 2U was a massive hit in 1990. Paper Monitor doesn't think she's the only one guilty of that. Now squeeze in that stomach.

And finally, Paper Monitor would like it issue a news warning about a certain young female. According to the Mirror and Daily Star, David and Victoria Beckham will be welcoming their baby daughter into the world today. If this is the case, you know what's coming. Lots and lots of column inches about the little lady. Move over Suri Cruise and make way.

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