Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
When a Briton loses a major international sporting event - the type of event no Brit has won for the last 75 years - whose fault is it? Their fault? The crowd's fault? Your fault? Paper Monitor's fault? No, it's Prime Minister David Cameron's fault.
The Daily Mirror says the "" has struck again. Apparently, his thrashing by Novak Djokovic in the final of the Australian Open is because Mr Cameron sent a message wishing him good luck. The prime minister sent him a message before the final last year, which he lost.
He also sent a good luck message to the England football team during the 2010 World Cup, and we all know what happened there. Even before his time in Number 10, his curse was up and running, says the paper. Lewis Hamilton was "doomed" in the Brazil Grand Prix in 2007 by a Cameron message of support and England's rugby team in the 2007 World Cup. The paper has a message for him:
"Please Dave, at the 2012 Olympics and David Haye's next title defence shut up!
The Times isn't looking around for someone else to blame. It sets aside the whole of page five to pick apart at great length what Murray did wrong. Simon Barnes goes right for the jugular:
"Murray has the talent to play better but could not use it. That is the really ferocious thing we have to face - that he is not very good at playing grand-slam finals. It's a fair crucial defect in someone we hope will become the first male Brit to win a grand-slam singles final for 75 years - or, if you prefer - the first Scot."
The Independent watched the match with a Scottish fan, who was court side at Melbourne Park. It notes that Linda Tront's cries went from an enthusiastic "go on Andy, you show 'em", to the rather less sympathetic "get a grip, you big sook". Paper Monitor is reliably informed by a Scottish colleague this means "cry baby" or "mummy's boy" north of the border. But the paper predicts Murray's fans will stick by him. Mainly because "what else have they got?"
Does that make you feel a bit better Andy?