Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
If Keira Knightley is the average Daily Telegraph reader's definition of all that's right in a woman and Zara Phillips sets the pulses of the Daily Mail's male audience racing, then who is the Guardian's pin-up of choice.
Daft question of course. You're average Guardianista would surely never fall into the trap of idolising a public figure based on something as facile as appearance.
Well, yes and no.
Step forward Rachida Dati, the former French justice minister who has confessed to a friend that she's bored with working as a Euro MP.
So underwhelming is the news value of someone feeling jaded about a job in the EU that the rest of the press seem to have passed this one by. Even the Indy, with its rich pro-European credentials, has given it a wide berth.
But Dati - with her smouldering Beatrice Dalle-ish eyes, black mohair sweater and glossy red lipstick - is today's Guardian cover girl ().
Talking of stories which most of the other papers have overlooked, the Sun gives half a page to an on 1989.
In many minds, the paper is inextricably linked with its erroneous reporting of the event. It later apologised, but its mistake had led to a widespread boycott of the paper in Merseyside.
Now, though, it stands alone in keeping readers up to speed with latest developments in the story.
Back at the Indy, the paper boasts an , and goes big on the Russian's fear that "computers will be the death of chess".
Paper Monitor feels as if has been catapulted back to a 1983 edition of Tomorrow's World.
Didn't Deep Blue long ago prove the superiority of a computational device over the human brain when it comes to the matter of moving ornaments around a game board?