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Paper Monitor

14:09 UK time, Monday, 28 September 2009

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Some choice nuggets of coverage as the Labour Party stages its annual conference in Brighton...

Harriet Harman wants to ban topless calendars in the workplace, according to the Sun, which knows a marketing opportunity when it sees one. "Harriet you can order our £7.99 Page 3 calendar for 2010 at..."

Peter Mandelson has been posing for a picture in his favourite delicatessen - an upmarket establishment in London. The Daily Mail's Quentin Letts suddenly sees significance in just about every element of the shot. The cappuccino machine? That's "one of the emblems of the frothy Blair years". The basil pannacotta? As "deftly scented as a young research assistant in the heyday of New Labour". The First Secretary himself is wearing an "expression of waxen weariness" and looking like "one of those fey youths Cecil Beaton used to frame for posterity".

And those "soft-soled lavender moccasins" look identical to the Mandelson was snapped by the Mail wearing in early August. Forgive Paper Monitor for its lack of sartorial perceptiveness - what is the difference between moccasins and loafers?

The Times goes to town comparing Gordon Brown's woes with those of John Major a year before the 1997 election - there are "uncanny echoes" says Peter Riddell. To hammer the point home, we get one of those "then and now"-style comparisons. So we learn that while the most popular film of 2009 is Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the top selling car of the moment is the Ford Fiesta and the cloning sensation of today is four macaque monkeys, back then it was Independence Day, the Ford Fiesta and Dolly the Sheep respectively. Wow, thanks guys - Paper Monitor feels tooled up and ready to hold its own in even the most erudite of political circles.

Now, what exactly was John Major's policy on disaster movies starring Will Smith?

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