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Paper Monitor

11:50 UK time, Thursday, 23 July 2009

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Times have changed. Or at least, in the Times they have.

The front page of the former organ of the Establishment carries the news in a Church of England church. The story is full of rather meek howls of outrage.

But what's this? . Brace yourself for some old school umbrage.

"The new liturgy cleverly allows the Church to entice women back into the spiritual and marital fold without judgment."

Well, that's told them.

Perhaps it's only to be expected when one rummages inside and finds that T2 (the Times's features pull-out section) is leading on "".

Ooh err, missus.

Ewan Morrison explains the ménage a trois he fell into as an art student, living with a couple. It did not include "three in a bed", he stresses.

"The modern day 'threesome' usually utilises a 'disposable' third party and is not a continuing commitment between three."

It all makes Paper Monitor want to part the mists of time and find out when the Thunderer first used the phrase "ménage a trois".

The answer seems to be 1919 when it carried a report of an extraordinary set of divorce proceedings.

"In 1908 he told her if she did not get money for him by prostitution he would see that she did, and that night he brought the co-respondent, who was a single man, to the house. The petitioner was in liquor.

"The three sat together in the sitting room and after an interval the petitioner called the respondent out of the room. He said to her, 'You've got your chance now and if there's no money for me by the morning you know what to expect.'

"Misconduct then took place between the respondent and the co-respondent. Next morning the petitioner said to the co-respondent, 'Have you enjoyed yourself, old boy?'."

Lordy.

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