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I'm not coming out until you get rid of that catwalk

And you thought Parisian models were bitchy?

I hate these pick your own main course events.

Peek a boo, I see stew!

Curtain bow wow.

You mean this lot are willing to pay these prices? They must be barking.

The audience lacked pedigree

As Greta Garbo used to say 'I want to be on a lawn.'

Can't a dog see a man in peace?

What do I know about fashion ? Armani a dog.

Ladies and Gentleman, is there a Vet in the house?

Gucci? No, this is poochy.

And still no one suspects, that I am, the Scarlet Pimpernel.

"Thank you I'm here all week, don't forget to nip your waitress."

There's never a tree when you really want one?

Miu Miu? That's OK. I thought you said Miaou Miaou.

I've been collared!

Watch out lads, there's a ruff crowd in tonight..

No cat calls allowed!

It's Ken Dog.

"Is it me that's getting smaller or is this handbag getting bigger?"

I don't care if Vivienne Westwood DID design it! I'm not going out there wearing a diamond studded nappy and matching basque...

Are you ready for me on the dogwalk?

Have you seen what they want me to wear? It leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination!

"oh its nothing really, just a walkies-on part"

I'm waiting for Dogot.

It's a tree I want, not Leaves St. Laurent

After this, Cruft's will have to be renamed Scruffs

Typical, it happens everytime, I surrender to a German Shepherd and then get rescued by an English Setter and an American Pit Bull.

Has anybody seen Paris?

And I'm wearing an original Yves St. Bernard

New Taco Bell CEO named

Oh no! I can see some animal rights activists out there, and I'm wearing fur.

Great! I can see representatives from all the top Paris fashion doghouses out here.

I don't care how many times you call me, I'm not coming until you say it in French.

I think we're in luck - the sushi conveyor belt's jammed

Well, at least I've been vetted.

I hope this isn't a butcher's convention.

We've been conned again, Coco. It's a restaurant.

And next on is Fifi, wearing an original Coco Chien-elle.

Of course I'm not Pamper-ed - I happen to be fully house-trained

Simon Cowell presents his new saturday night show, 'The Rex Factor.'

I'm afraid to show a leg - they might chop it off!

The new production of Carmen by Woodhouse was destined to be a howling success

Unlike Paris, the Taiwan fashion scene is definitely not DOG-eat-dog

To pee or not to pee....THAT is the question.

Err, is this the right theatre for 'Cats'?

And I used to think style was something you jumped over

I'm a fashion police-dog

The puparazzi were ruthless

Ok are you ready? When the curtain goes up you take the lead.

Surprise discovery suggests new underlying cause for stagefright.

No, it's DON Pasquale actually

So many legs! Must be quick to find a good looking one.

Dramatic paws.

"Good luck mate, knock 'em dead, pee on a leg"

I'm the Show's Wag.

Could the person in seat K9 please identify themselves

Siegfried & Roy revamp Vegas show

The 39 Steps is an organization of spies collecting information on behalf of the foreign office of...

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Ladies and Gentlemmen, please welcome Yoda wearing this year's must have item, a collar and a corset twin set.. and an enormous grin!

I have a tail, but I'm not quite pleased with my look...

OK, you can do this. Walk pretty and remember not to lick yourself.

And remember, Fifi, when it comes to your big 'Singing in the Rain' number, you only swing on the lamp-post, OK?

The crowd weren't too impressed with this years T in the Park headliner.

The world wide recession has even hit the cat walk, these models are dog rough...

Le Woof!

Fame can be so evanescent. One minute you're the catwalk queen, the next you're lunch.

Theirs was a forbidden attraction, something that could never work, but she longed for a sniff from the English bulldog on stage nevertheless

And now, with the weather, it's Chien Lloyd.

And next we have the supermodel, Claudia Sniffer.

There was disappointment for the audience who turned up for Snoop's secret gig

Pooch and Judy

Don't put your daugher on the stage Mrs Worthington

When I grow up I'm going to be a werewolf like Lon Chieny

As Fifi searched the audience for her folks, the Ross family, she realised with a heavy heart that Jonathan must have decided to do something more interesting with his favourite, that wretched pug Mr Pickle.

I'M NOT BEING CATTY!!!

Michael McIntyre's particular brand of high-pitched observational comedy has endeared him to a whole new audience.

I'm not coming out unless they get me a helicopter.

Oh no, I think I've made a poodle on the floor

"Harry, I'm sorry, but your godfather wasn't dead after all, but..."

"It's curtains for you, Fifi", chuckled the cat in the balcony.

Fido didn't like the look of the new Korean buffet

Is this a dogger which I see before me?

Spike's Eric Morecambe impression was off to a good start.

"OK, which one of you hid the toilet tissue?"

The Humpback of Notre Dame.

"It was all or nothing for Fifi. Simon Cowell had never judged a topless chorus line but that was all about to change."

Who let the dogs pout?

Toto's impersonation of the Wizard was not well received by Dorothy

"A little help here, i've got four shoes but i can only Taiwan!!"

New undercover journo for Paris Match revealed

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"I say, Fifi, I don't think this is the way to loo"

Where's the bone, China ?

What use is staying alone in your kennel...

Throw me a bone, not flowers !

...and those in the Royal Box, just rattle your dog collars

Chien curtain, let me rock you
Let me rock you chien curtain
Let me rock you, I feel for you