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³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ plans to revive both Emu and the Black and White minstrel show are revealed.

Alistair Darling indicates how the downtown in the economy is worse than anybody thought

So, not nearly as big as a London double-decker bus then?

The CGI was somewhat lacking for "The 50ft Woman vs Mothra"

London braces itself for another onslaught by ptera-ists

How to Subdue a Pterasaur - no. 42 : tickle it under the chin

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One wonders if the character on the left is meant to represent Professor Challenger

The latest army recruitment poster for the war of pterosaur

Of course this was in the days before colour.

Doctor, doctor, I've got this strange growth on my finger...

And as the y axis indicates, by next July we can expect house prices to have fallen to a level last seen in the late triassic.

A Government Minister explains a cheap yet nutritious alternative to turkey for Christmas

Scientists remained unconvinced about the decision to call the new Pterosaur "Keyser Söze".

John Lennon mocks the Liver Bird after drinking him under the table...

His etchings were a bit strange thought Estelle

Sit!

Scientist to pterosaur: "awww, you luvvely , wuvvely, ickle, wickle pterosaur...."

You must be this tall to be eaten

Barbara Woodhouse demonstrates how she learnt to deal with an unruly pterosaur.

We're going to mate them with pigs to make Jurassic Pork

Baby dragons are ALWAYS cute, Harry.

First recorded use of the "finger of death".

Disgruntled parent demands a refund after visiting 'Jurassic Park New Forest'

Pokemon before colour.

You must be at least this height to go on the Pteroflight ride

"Ah, ah, ah ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive"

GM turkeys ready for Christmas

Boris had discovered through several unsuccesful attempts that the only way to woo the pterosaur was to ensure you're wearing the correct combination of cravat AND converse.

The hunt for Bernhard Matthews' attacker was on.

Ringo was less happy with his caricature than John

Batman meets his grandmother

Rock, paper, scissors for paleontologists. Pterosaur eats paleontologist.

For heaven's sake put your leg down, people will stare!

Campaign warns "A Pterosaur isn't just for Christmas".

What's the sell-by date on this chicken you got from Asda, dear?

Discoverer of first living pterosaur criticised for poor photography skills

Strictly Come Dancing: 2000BC

Scientists discover that dinosaurs liked being tickled under the chin.

He thought he had met the archaeopteryx of his dreams, but she turned out to be a pterosaur.

As the Duty Solicitor I must protest, where did you dig up this other person for the line up?

New cave paintings show that cavemen wore cardigans and glasses.

The annual remote control UFO race ends in disaster as two end in a cloud of smoke and the third heads for the judge

Recession causes The Usual Suspects 2 and Jurassic Park 4 to be merged.

The army finally uncover Iran's WMD

"How many times have I told you not to decapitate the neighbours?"

The real reason dinosaurs died out - poor camoflage.

A mullet, trainers and flairs! No wonder they died out!

Well, it works with crocodiles

So far I've taught him to roll over, sit and stand on one leg. Rubbing him under his chin just makes him purr.

The first drafts for Steamboat Willy were not quite what Walt had in mind.

Size of a Pterosaur!

No Mr. Travolta, this is how you do the funky chicken.

Dino Girl Guide Tip #34: When confronted by an amourous pterosaur, tickle it under the chin.

By the position of its legs, that pterosaur must be busting for that silent 'p'

The "less than" usual suspects

God observed his work and realised He'd drunk way too much the night before creating the fowl

Scientist have named it the Mont Blancadon.

Artie Ziff moves from "The Simpsons" to join the cast of "The Flintstones"

Artists impression of the first species of RodHullosaur.

The film noir setting on his new digital camera was all the rage at the Paleontologist Christmas Do.

Microsoft release their new excel chart package.

First they buy a hamster, so we get a pedigree poodle. Then they get a rattlesnake, so we buy a crocodile. Have you seen what the neighbours have bought now, Harry?

The latest genetic cross - a dinosaur and a pen nib.

And the deflate valve is...where?

Thank you for coming in for the identity parade, Mrs Jones. We've narrowed our search down to two suspects. Now, please think carefully. Do you recognise either of these individuals as the one who mugged you in Central London, then flew off with your purse clutched in their claws, leaving a trail of guano?

Strictly Come Dancing has really gone downhill with the latest couple, hasn't it?

The crane-kick attempt failed to impress Mr. Miyagi.

Trinny and Suzanna stared in horror. Doris hadn't looked that bad on this side of the screen.

Our new manga artist hails from the natural history field. Why do you ask?

Oh, I adore these signs they have hanging outside restaurants in Alsace, but I don't think we'll bother stopping at this one, eh?

Beyond doubt he had established himself as the worlds greatest shadow puppeteer.

Since the John Sergeant scandal, candidates for Strictly were carefully vetted.

Bill - "Wow, that was a scary dream!"
Fred -"What, the flying dinosaur?"
Bill -"No, the monochrome Jeremy Clarkson!"

Lucy ousted as earliest hominid.

David Icke at last publishes 'x-ray proof' that the Royal Family have a reptilian bloodline.

Pterosaurs found the "pull my finger" joke incredibly funny.

Raoul and the pterosaur went to sea...

You're grounded for a month. No flying and definately no more alcohol.

The pigeon from a hat trick didn't quite go as expected.

Quick, get Norris on the phone! I think I've just set a record for the most 'single-fingered pterosaur lifts' in 30 seconds.

Pterosaur receives ticking off for diving at the shallow end.

We will always remember his last words: "I wonder if dinosaurs are ticklish..."

The credit crunch had taken its toll on FT wall charts.

The new species, believed to be about 1 Guardian reader in length...

How many times must I tell you - drinking does not give you wings.

"Look if you don't stand up straight we can't see how tall you are"

The swimming pool signs indicated the latest important rule, "no diving, no running, no smoking, no petting and no bringing your massive pet pterosaur along"

You may be taller, but without me you wouldn't even be able to stand.

New evidence found in the Creationist museum

When you really, really know your eggs are passed their sell by date..

X ray reveals location of woman's stiletto.

Ahh, thats the spot.

Theirs was a strange and magical relationship. A bit of the past, a bit of the future, but at least the height worked.

oops..

When you really, really know your eggs are past their sell by date..

Even though Rod Hull was no longer with us, Michael Parkinson was still wary ...

I told you earlier; if you insist on going out undressed we'll end up down at the station, again.

Listen, if you don't take that back I'll stamp on your other foot too.

Reincarnation can be a funny thing, my boy.

Look, Rudolph's got a runny nose, Prancer's off with flu, Vixen's got something unmentionable ... any chance of your helping us out on Christmas Eve?