Paper Monitor
12:54 UK time, Wednesday, 10 September 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
So sorry for the delay, Paper Monitor has only just managed to escape the eddying currents that threatened to suck it in the general direction of Switzerland.
Or was that just wind?
Either way, now protons are being fired around a circuit at a rate of super-whizziness (to give 99.9999% of the speed of light its scientific name), Paper Monitor can turn its attention to how to explain it all to Caption Competition and 10 Things, who can be bears of very little brain about such things.
Handy, then, that among the throwage of Wednesday's Guardian - Paper Monitor is not currently looking for work as Change Manager in Charge of Social Inclusivity and Collaborative Change, thanks, so out goes the super-size Society section - there is an explainer in G2 that translates boffin-speak.
There is an artist's impression of invisibly small objects - comparative units of measure include the Jelly Tot and the Gummy Bear. There are charts which make liberal use of the colour mauve because it's "always nice". Fairport Convention gets a mention. As does Gruyere. Hmmm. Might still be a bit too technical for Caption Comp, although 10 Things should be able to grasp the basics.
The Daily Telegraph hedges its bets with the headline "If it's 8.31 and you're still reading this...
... then Professor Hawking was right."
Matt's cartoon, however, is but a dot. "Big bang experiment sucks cartoon into black hole."
The Independent points the curious to its features section. The cover of which is emblazoned with a snap of Paris Hilton. The rise of whom some may regard as the first horseman of the apocalypse. Which does rather play into the hands of those who regard Cern's scientists in much the same light.
The 
