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That's the last time I ask your mate to 'put me up for the night!'

"Ok, next time YOU book the hotel then"

With the introduction of Virgin’s new timetable, Harry and his mates were taking no chances

Hey, Joe, weren't we were lucky to get this upgrade from a Travelodge?

I think I've got it jammed in the zip again, Derek

What does the Very Hungry Catepillar do when his mates sleep over? He puts them up for the night.

Passengers are advised to be on the lookout for some very large spiders

Oh no, not another hold-up on the line?

Heathrow Terminal 5 unveils its new lounge area

Derek and his chums decided to go to London for the weekend and get plastered

The Body Shop finally launches a product line that matches the company name.

The annual London sack race is interrupted by a curiously placed velcro wall.

The three were later arrested for loitering without tent

"I told you to go before they nailed us up here."

the first AGM of the National Institute of Narcileptic Escapologists seeks six further members

There we were, sleeping in a tent in New Orleans, and the next thing we knew ...

"Line on the left, one cocoon each."

Just hanging out.

The credit crunch was forcing the makers of Big Brother to look at alternatives to building a new house.

The Fat Controller exacted a drastic punishment on anybody found sleeping rough

Un-animated suspension.

What are you doing, you idiots, I wanted a four poster bed - not a four-bedded poster!

Oh no, not another fly-on-the-wall documentary about London commuters?

Well that's the last time I make fun of the Scout movement.

In a new twist on "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" the Witchetty grubs are forced to eat the contestants.

"Well, it's better than the sandcastle you booked."

Getting high on herbs.

The porters at the mainline London termini are usually a stuck-up lot

Passengers await the train to their dormitory town.

Well, if you work for Boris Johnson, you have to start early in the morning

"Got a light?"

Railway sleepers.

This is the biggest flat we could afford.

Are you sure these Arthur Daly brand wall beds are the coming thing?

I'm canceling my application to be an astronaut!

The bodies of the three that jumped the barriers were hung on the wall by police as a warning to all others who haven't got the message yet.

Or if we are going with the standard of caption that is often chosen;

Gosh shouldn't those people be on the floor, and with a tent on top, then this scenario would be socially acceptable.

I don't want to alarm you, but there's a dog with a full bladder approaching.

Next stop: Lunaticville

So you're part of a Tracey Emin! It could be worse! It might have been a Damien Hirst!

Hi mum, I hanging arround with an old bag at the station

And you say the 1973 Woody Allen film had TWO sequels?

After being confronted by the evidence, Ripley headed off to find her flamethrower

'Go green' he said, 'think of our carbon footprint' he said, 'put your feet up' he said. Well I say 'stuff that, next year it's Torremolinos'.

The next time I'll book the sleeper to Paris

Stuck-up gits.

What we need is an off-the-wall idea.

Our tickets bought us the berth, the bed...Everything except a place on the train.

Well I've done Rep mostly, so when my agent said he'd get me on a billboard in London I jumped at the chance.

The British Museum is still trying to trace the missing exhibit for their new Egyptian display

This work-life balance thing takes a bit of working out, doesn't it?

Though Tom and Bill kept there cool, Gerald's excitement at the pretty lady was there for all to see.

No, I'm not happy, you should see where they've put the clothes hook.

I'm here to tell you that you've just received an invite to a come-as-you-are party.

Still, they're a lot more active than most railway porters

Break dancing, anyone?

Yes, we're all in favour of hanging.

Did you use bad grammar or post your comment in the "Letters" form?

Preparations get underway for London's scaled-down opening ceremony.

Next time we're in court, make certain we don't get Judge Jeffreys

And on the third day they rose again.

Itching powder? You're...Oh, no...

I'm not saying where that bloke giving out the Metro stuck it, but it don't 'alf make your eyes water.

London Victoria unveils it's new herbaceous boarders

London's 2012 athletes begin preparing to win the Gold Medal for the 200m butterfly.

Never refuse to pay the bill in an Italian restaurant - I've even got a horse's head in here with me

Well I reckon we're taking practising safe sex too far

Lost baggage

Cosy, desirable, three bedroom, Central London property, close to the station. A snip at only £250,000...

Oh no that's my train, I can't believe I slept in. Now how do I get down from here?

The Government's new plan to help first time buyers wasn't quite as good as it first appeared..

But George, Harrod's sale was last month!

'Cocoon' - the director?s cut

Thermos? Check! Sandwiches? Check! Rope ladder? Er, rope ladder?

'Cocoon' - the director's cut

Tired of yet more train delays, commuters figured they'd be quicker cocooning themselves and growing wings to get to work.

Environmental protest against the building of Victoria station enters its 147th year.

And this is our new creche facility for busy women to drop off their husbands so that they can shop in peace.

This new super-prison isn't very super, is it?

"Found? In a sleeping-bag?" exclaimed Lady Bracknell.

Roman punishments are a lot more humane these days

Actually, my name IS Bill Stickers

There were three in the bed and the little one said 'What the ****?!'

A radical solution to the housing crisis

Don't you get board hanging around for a train?

And we guarantee there'll be no more sleepwalking from your wife when she's in this, Macbeth.

Due to overrunning engineering works, Network Rail demonstrate the recommended passenger outfits for the Brighton line.

The crucifixion scene in the new version of MP's Life of Brian really was not the same since the new Health and Safety measures had been implemented.

So, I'm supposed to be the groom, you're my best man and that's gonna be my new mother in law? Now that's what I call a stag party!

Shrek's visit to London went well, although he did sneeze a lot.

Network Rail unveils the latest scheme to reduce overcrowding

If Tracy Emin can win with an unmade bed...

In an effort to reduce the impact of delays, the new Hibernation Class is launched.

So, your christian name is Uni, Mr Bond?

If Tracey Emin can win with an unmade bed...

(spelling corrected)

Invasion of the Body Shop Snatchers

New 'Boil in the bag' range for cannibals launched.

When we told the job centre we hung around all day, they found us the perfect job.

At least we're not living above our station, Derek

After a serendipitous discovery when spilling their night-time drinks, it was clear that the herbal remedy would also sell well in the superglue market.

I said 'threesome', not a 'treesome'