Paper Monitor
11:46 UK time, Friday, 4 July 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Red tops only today, but what a cornucopia of...
In the Daily Star there's a vaguely weird undertone on pages one and three.
"Richard & Judy's little girl strips off - PICTURE EXCLUSIVE P5"
Moving to page three and the caption on the topless model says: "ONCE upon a time, Lucinda Farrell was a little girl who loved fairy stories. Now she's a grown up 19-year-old."
There's something not quite right here.
Over in the Sun, there's more on Richard & Judy's daughter Chloe posing in FHM. "She looks set to send men's pulses racing - as long as they can blank out the memory of her mum Judy Finnigan's wardrobe malfunction." Harsh.
And there is a hallelujah moment for the newspaper's subbing team as they encounter a donkey stuck down a well. They couldn't, could they? I'm afraid they could. "ASS HOLE," reads the headline.
And there's more joy for them on page 37, where they report that watermelon has Viagra-like properties. They have page three's Amii "strategically" holding two melons. The piece does mention, late on, something about "six small cups" of melon being needed.
But it's left to the denizens of truth on the Star to report that you would actually need three pints of watermelon to get an effect and that the first thing you would notice is the fruit's powerful diuretic qualities.
By comparison to its brethren, the Daily Mirror, is, as usual, rather sombre.
It is able to dedicate a full page to the spate of weird births - namely, the "pregnant man" Thomas Beatie and the 70-year-old Indian new mother.
And they find room for the melon story on the same page as well.
The 
