Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Whatever the rights and wrongs of ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ Secretary Jacqui Smith's comments about not walking the streets at night, Paper Monitor predicts a bigger rumpus to come – between Ms Smith and her Department of Health counterpart, Alan Johnson.
There's Mr Johnson, falling over himself to push home the healthy eating message, when all of a sudden it's quite ok for a senior minister of the Crown to tuck into a donor kebab.
Quite how the Daily Mail managed to track down the kebab shop which played host to Ms Smith last Wednesday night is unclear, but visit it the paper did. And despite some undoubtedly blunt questioning from the reporter, owner of Katies kebab shop, Ender Ginel, has no complaints about his high-profile customer.
Having stumped up £3.90 for a donor kebab (no chips... no mention of chilli sauce) "Jacqui Smith didn't have any problems in here… she just sat here and ate her kebab," he tells the paper.
In surer hands, this story could have been quite a publicity coup for Ms Smith – senior minister of state shows no airs and graces as she gets down with the people of Peckham. Paper Monitor is reminded of the glowing reports when Bill Clinton popped in a McDonald's in Blackpool with Alastair Campbell. Instead, Ms Smith's press people are looking at headlines such as "Skewered" (Daily Mail) and "Kebabgate" (Daily Express).
Perhaps they should take a leaf out of the Marks and Spencer press relations book, after news that Jeremy Paxman wrote to M&S's chief executive Stuart Rose to complain about the quality of the store's underwear. Mr Rose's response – to invite Mr Paxman to lunch to discuss the issue further – has the pawprints of a deft PR machine.
The Sun isn't about to take this argument at face value however, and subjects Paxman's criticism's to "scientific" analysis, employing, in turn, a button mushroom, a couple of tangerines, a watermelon and a medicine ball.
The result? The "swingometer" shows a "small swing to the left". A spot of mischief making or is Paper Monitor being over sensitive?