Your Letters
15:58 UK time, Wednesday, 25 July 2007
If want advice on safe sex and assembling flat-pack furniture, then my advice would be not to try the former on a self-assembly bed until they are sure they have mastered the latter.
Adam, London, UK
The are said to have been found driving while unfit - to play football or to drive a limo?
Luise, Tamworth
RE: Paper Monitor. Short of Mr Cameron's feet being made of the world's most absorbent sponges that could drain all the flood water, what exactly could he do by being in his constituency that he couldn't do from being in Rwanda?!
Tom Webb, Epsom, UK
I hereby propose the government ban Gymnasia and the use thereof. This should be done along side the proposed prohibition of . It is quite clear for all to see, that people who exercise, expel far more CO2 with their speeded up metabolisms, than the rest of us, and therefore fall into the "criminal carbon waster" category and must be stopped immediately. The beauty of this proposal is that these "greenhouse gas emitters" will not live as long, and therefore will not be around to continue polluting the atmosphere for as long! All those in favour, start holding your breath.
D. Read, Surbiton-on-sea - I mean Thames
When I first read baby's name I was sure it was Princess Tia Maria. Now I've read its something different I somehow wish that she was named after the liquor!
Liz, London
Emma from Hull and Trish from East Yorkshire (Tuesday's letters). Trish is absolutely right - Kingston-upon-Hull is a city and county in its own right, but until Yorkshire County Cricket Club abandoned its birth qualification to play for the county, Hull was the only place not in Yorkshire that one could be born but still qualify to play for the county.
Mike, Bolton (formerly East Yorkshire)
Please consider: The ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ is not publishing Punorama and the Caption Competition. Monitor readers, deprived of their amusements, turn to work to fill the void. Their work rate increases, causing others in the office to keep up. The increased pace of work increases stress levels in the nation. Levels of stress get so high the entire nation as one turns into gibbering wrecks and sets fire to the country. Therefore, please reinstate the competitions before this once-proud nation is burnt to a cinder.
Phil, Cardiff
So Gordon Brown wants the problems with ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ competitions sorted out quickly... he's obviously missing Punorama too!
Robin, Edinburgh
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