成人快手

Punorama - results

15:56 UK time, Thursday, 1 February 2007

It's time for Punorama results - a day later than usual because of technical difficulties.

As ever, we supplied the story and in return you gave us your best puns.

This week it was the tale (no pun intended...) of Twiglet, the 12-year-old tabby cat who has been put on anti-depressants to treat "anger-management issues" after a spate of bullying by a ginger tom. Too afraid to go out, her weight went up to 7kg, her stomach hit the floor and she got cystitis. Vets have put her on a Prozac-like drug called amitriptyline to try and treat the condition.

Well, the results were worth waiting for - it's a bumper week.

There were some extremely popular themes. Feline Down - or a slight variation - was sent in by Kris, Anna Lilley, Mike Smith, Murray Milne, Dan Budden, David Regan, Ryan W, Rob Falconer, Lee Pike, Gareth Jones, Angela Barlow, Mike Monk, Stig, Nigel and Sheldon - phew!

It wasn't the only popular one. Cat: A tonic was suggested by Kieran Boyle, Dave Stuart-Marquez, Pix6, Vienna, Alexander Lewis Jones, Craig Wall, Helen, Colin Bartlett, Jake Perks, Trudi K, Candy Spillard, Tim Noble, Dave Cryer, Brian Gunn and Steve.

There's more. Puss at Boots (the chemist) - or something very similar - was sent in by Duncan, Alan, David Dee, Lynn, Jack, Colin Nelson, Stoo, James Dunlop, Sam, Sarah in Dartmouth, Andy Kitchen, Robin Hughes, James E, Darren, Alex Pelopidas, Pete Makings and Cate.

And more. Moggiedon was the offering from Adam, Chris H and Steve O, while What's blue, pussy cat? - or a slight variation - was suggested by Cathie, Candace and Michael Roughton. Apologises to anyone we missed.

Honourable mention to Martin Price for I just want Tabby normal, Helene Parry for Look what the cat's drugged in and Rob Powell for Mog-life crisis.

Not sure if we're starting something here, but in response to last week's play on the word platypus was Drug-filled fatty puss from Jennifer and Paul Williams.

But gold star goes to Niall Nugent for A Chronic Kitten and our favourite Ooh, ooh, ooh, the junkie kitten, which was sent in by Keith. Thanks, everyone who reads this will probably now have that song going round in their heads all day.

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Comments

At 01:00 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Chris wrote:
Punorma entry:

High as a cat
At 01:03 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Phil, Cardiff wrote:
Pill-popping pussy.
At 01:04 PM on 30 Jan 2007, lynn wrote:
Aggro-phobia
At 01:06 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Pix6, Vienna wrote:
Twigletitbe
At 01:06 PM on 30 Jan 2007, lynn wrote:
Aggro-phobia
At 01:14 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Ian Joyce wrote:
Cat a tonic

or

Am I tripped Feline?
At 01:16 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Dave wrote:
Moggy-don; or, Scaredy cat now feels fantastic, eats prozac in doses.
At 01:19 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Duncan wrote:
Tom and scaredy
At 01:20 PM on 30 Jan 2007, lynn wrote:
Afraid of being mogg-ed
At 01:20 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Jon Bright wrote:
Ooooh, catflaps out, saucer of milk
At 01:21 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Fat cat on it's uppers
At 01:21 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Duncan wrote:
Mighty drug katz
At 01:24 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:
Super Cat Is Fragile 'Cos A Tom Is Quite Atrocious.
At 01:24 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Valerie Falconer wrote:
For a catatonic cat - a tonic
At 01:26 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Martin Payne wrote:
Just a purrfect day
At 01:27 PM on 30 Jan 2007, lynn wrote:
Miaow of despond
Sourpuss
At 01:27 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:
Super Cat Is Fragile 'Cos A Tom Is Quite Atrocious.
At 01:28 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:
Adding Insult To Gingery.
At 01:29 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:
Gingery Leads To Fat-astrophe For Twiglet.
At 01:30 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Clawstrophobic kitty
At 01:32 PM on 30 Jan 2007, lynn wrote:
Cat in a flap
At 01:32 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:
Recluse Puss Goes To Boots
At 01:34 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:
Twiglet Is Out Of Pharm's Way.
At 01:35 PM on 30 Jan 2007, lynn wrote:
Candidate for Mogadon
At 01:35 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:
The Pussy Cat Lolls.
At 01:37 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:
Tom And Very (Sad).
At 01:38 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Darren wrote:
A tale of two kitties.
At 01:39 PM on 30 Jan 2007, lynn wrote:
Purrscription drugs

I like Miaow of despond best
At 01:39 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:
Kitty Bitter
At 01:40 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Angela Barlow wrote:
Cheerless Whiskas
At 01:43 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Stephen Ross wrote:
Help meow-t
Purr-fect remedy
At 01:44 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Twiglet snapped
At 01:45 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Stephen Ross wrote:
Help meow-t with a Purr-fect remedy
At 01:51 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Colin Nelson wrote:
Moggy needs catalysis
At 02:04 PM on 30 Jan 2007, K Walker wrote:
Cure ferocity? Pill the cat.
At 02:04 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Sara wrote:
Narcatics needed after terrible Tomtrums...
At 02:10 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Pix6, Vienna wrote:
Cataleptic.
At 02:12 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Angela Barlow wrote:
Feline Purrsecuted
At 02:13 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Tony Doyle wrote:
Catsastroppy
At 02:13 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Colin Nelson wrote:
Moggy needs catalysis
At 02:14 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Ginger Tom to mind control
At 02:14 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Pat McGarry wrote:
Psych-cat-ic
At 02:21 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Charles Lally wrote:
Paws for thought......
At 02:24 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Charles Lally wrote:
Try moogy-don for a better nights sleep
At 02:40 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Eddie H wrote:
You sure it's not catalepsy?
At 02:53 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Rory wrote:
Take two of these tabby-lets if you're feline down.
At 02:58 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Sparky wrote:
Sour puss popping pills
At 03:02 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Lee Pike wrote:
Purr-zac
At 03:05 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:
Paws for thought
At 03:07 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:
Dareless Whiskers.
At 03:09 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Glenn J wrote:
Seeing Red, Feline Blue.
At 03:09 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Charles Lally wrote:
How are you feeling now?...........purrrfect !
At 03:14 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:
Sagpuss
At 03:14 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Valerie Falconer wrote:
Drug pussers
At 03:16 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:
Caught in a cat flap.
At 03:17 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Sparky wrote:
Poorly pussy pops pills preventing previous personality problems!
At 03:22 PM on 30 Jan 2007, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:
Stay at 'om
Avoid the Tom
At 03:24 PM on 30 Jan 2007, sam wrote:
Pussed off
At 03:24 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Niall Nugent wrote:
The Pussycat Doldrums
At 03:24 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:
Cat going-through-a-rough-patch fever
At 03:27 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:
Moggy's little helper
At 03:28 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:
Putting something in the kitty.
At 03:38 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:
Aggro-phobic
At 03:47 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Niall Nugent wrote:

Attack on a hot tin roof
At 03:47 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Richard Downey wrote:
Treatment for the pussy cat
At 03:48 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Richard Downey wrote:
Pussycat
At 03:51 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Iain wrote:
Afraid and Ginger
At 04:04 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:
Twigged Out
At 04:25 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Tim Knott wrote:
Spayed Puddy in new bullying row!
At 04:27 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Minty wrote:
Twiglet's Ginger Crisis!
At 04:28 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Jez wrote:
serox-cat
At 04:33 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Bish wrote:
Paw me, Paw me, Paw me a Shrink.
At 05:16 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Dan wrote:
Sourpuss
At 05:22 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Paul Robinson wrote:
Pussychiatric care for Twiglet
At 05:29 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Pat Murphy wrote:
Cattytonic
At 05:38 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:
Eight out of ten cats said their downers preferred hits.
At 05:40 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Brian Ritchie wrote:
Designer drug with a purr-puss in mind.
At 05:40 PM on 30 Jan 2007, P Anghelides wrote:
Purrozac
At 05:41 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:
Mew-dy Blues
At 05:46 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Susan wrote:
Prozac-like need for a flabby tabby-cat-a-tonic
At 05:51 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Not an ally cat
At 05:52 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:
Mew-dy Blues
At 05:53 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:
Emotionally scarredy cat.
At 05:57 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Jill B. wrote:
Kitty Kitty, Bang! Bang!
At 06:08 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Sally wrote:
Feline blue
Pussed off
Catatonic
Ah, my tripping feline
At 06:11 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:
Glee powder
At 07:33 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Phil, Cardiff wrote:
Drug mew.
At 07:39 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Martin Price wrote:
I just want Tabby normal.
At 07:48 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:
Emotionally scarredy cat.

Stone me. Ow!

Obese kitty.
At 07:53 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Not a pally cat
At 07:53 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Ginger, nuts, makes Twiglet snap
At 07:54 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Twiglet's burning ring of ire.
At 07:56 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Not an ally cat
At 07:59 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Skitty kitty harangue pang
At 08:01 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:
Emotionally scarredy cat.

Stone me. Ow!

Obese kitty.
At 08:31 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
A tale of two kitties
At 08:40 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:
Cat's up
At 08:59 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:
Purr-a vida
At 09:06 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:
Warm and fuzzy feline
At 09:15 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:
That warm and fuzzy feline
At 09:17 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:
That warm and fuzzy feline
At 09:35 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Nicola Judd wrote:
Heaven knows Twig's miserable meow.

(Still got Morrisey in my head from the Eurovision one a few weeks ago, sorry).
At 10:16 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Susan wrote:
Prozac need for flabby tabby-cat-a-tonic
At 10:22 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Savo, Surrey wrote:
Pussy Furore
At 10:23 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Tony Doyle wrote:
The scowl of the pussycat
At 10:33 PM on 30 Jan 2007, LH wrote:
Twiglet has that cat-ty feeling...
At 10:37 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Jill B. wrote:
Trip to Lean.
At 12:05 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Just a low down tum.
At 12:12 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Tim Knott wrote:
Spayed Puddy in new bullying row
At 12:19 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Tim Knott wrote:
Wussy Pussy gets Purr-scription
At 02:04 AM on 31 Jan 2007, DC wrote:
Narcotic Kitten
Fat Cat
Puss in Boots (the chemist)
At 02:18 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Muhammad Isa wrote:
Mogadon Moggie
At 02:28 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Muhammad Isa wrote:
Treatment for the cat: a tonic
At 03:41 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Stella wrote:
Old Possum's Book of Prozatical Cats
At 04:48 AM on 31 Jan 2007, sarah trieste italy wrote:
High as a kit.
At 04:52 AM on 31 Jan 2007, sarah trieste italy wrote:
Cat flapped
At 04:58 AM on 31 Jan 2007, sarah trieste italy wrote:
Tab lets down Puss.
At 05:12 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Brian Gunn wrote:
Keep taking the tabbylets
At 05:16 AM on 31 Jan 2007, sarah trieste italy wrote:
Laid back Pussy.
At 05:38 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Brian Gunn wrote:
Moggie-down
At 05:39 AM on 31 Jan 2007, wrote:
despaired-y cat
At 07:17 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:
Pussy Furore
At 07:21 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:
Tabby or not tabby.
At 07:31 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Brian Gunn wrote:
Filthy,Rich and Cat in a flap
At 07:37 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Pix6, Vienna wrote:
Happy pills on pusscription?
At 07:44 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Pix6, Vienna wrote:
Cat's sighs.
At 07:49 AM on 31 Jan 2007, GDW wrote:
Pussy cat is fragile misfit; neighbours are atrocious.
At 08:37 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Lee Pike wrote:
Ginger nuts
At 08:41 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Carol Harrop wrote:
Serox-cat
At 08:44 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Jagpuss
At 09:00 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Bunny wrote:
Purrsecution
At 09:01 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:
Fur better or worse
At 09:09 AM on 31 Jan 2007, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:
Cat flap and scare it
At 09:10 AM on 31 Jan 2007, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:
Flat cap and ferret
At 10:14 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Jake Perks wrote:
Keep taking the tabby-lets!
At 10:33 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Hazel Love wrote:
anti-trip-feline
At 10:54 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Ben wrote:
Mentail
At 10:58 AM on 31 Jan 2007, PJ, West Yorks, thelbiq.co.uk wrote:
Fat cat and ferret
At 10:59 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:
Glee powder
At 10:59 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:
Moggy's little hell, purr
At 11:02 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:
Just say miaow!
At 11:05 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:
(Sent this earlier but not sure if it arrived -)

Look what the cat's drugged in
At 11:13 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Gareth Jones, Isle of Anglesey wrote:
Re: Pet Prescription
At 11:24 AM on 31 Jan 2007, rebecca plumb wrote:
strop cat
feline a little stressed
At 11:31 AM on 31 Jan 2007, gaynor wrote:
Miaowed control to ginger tom
At 11:32 AM on 31 Jan 2007, gaynor wrote:
Miaowed control to ginger tom
At 11:44 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Stig wrote:
I'm a-freud of Ginger
At 11:59 AM on 31 Jan 2007, Mike Smith wrote:
No meow tears
At 12:25 PM on 31 Jan 2007, Chris Berti wrote:
Weeping Tom
At 12:38 PM on 31 Jan 2007, wrote:
Cat-alytic Converter
At 12:45 PM on 31 Jan 2007, Darren wrote:
Cat B(a)lue
At 01:21 PM on 31 Jan 2007, Rajat wrote:
"Cat catches Black Dog"
At 01:37 PM on 31 Jan 2007, Rob wrote:
Whiskers off to a better place
At 02:22 PM on 31 Jan 2007, Mike Grimes wrote:
Coward control to Ginger Tom
At 02:27 PM on 31 Jan 2007, Hazel Love wrote:
Purrzac tab sees twiglet zone through ginger haze
At 02:27 PM on 31 Jan 2007, Gillian Eaton wrote:
Pussy grr-roar!
At 03:43 PM on 31 Jan 2007, Colin wrote:
Vets to prescribe Cat-a-tonic!
At 04:00 PM on 31 Jan 2007, sweep mcmahon wrote:

1)pussycatting around the dilemna ?
2)am-i-trip'tyline-fantastic ?
3)'paws' for a moment..i'm depressed !
4)fe-line crap!
At 04:02 PM on 31 Jan 2007, rose sewell wrote:
Pussed off
At 04:26 PM on 31 Jan 2007, Mike Laurie wrote:
Pussed off?
At 06:33 PM on 31 Jan 2007, wrote:
A-mew-zing - city fat cat drug scandal
At 07:50 PM on 31 Jan 2007, Rick wrote:
Not a happy tabby.
At 08:30 PM on 31 Jan 2007, jj wrote:
bi-pole cat
At 09:00 AM on 01 Feb 2007, Hazel Love wrote:
fat cat slept on mat after prozac halts ginger spat