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Punorama

15:34 UK time, Wednesday, 24 January 2007

It's Punorama results time again..

duck203.jpg

You know the rules - we give you the story and you give us your best pun.

This week's it was about one plucky duck who survived gunshot wounds and a two-day stint in the fridge.

A hunter in Florida shot it, and took it for dead, home to the refrigerator.

When his wife opened the door two days later, the duck lifted its head in a burst of life and she rushed it to the wildlife sanctuary for treatment.

It now has a 75% chance of survival.

How'd you all do? Magnificently.

As usual, there were some very popular entries. Quack from the dead was sent in by Helene Parry, Susan, S Murray, Brian Ritchie, Nick Jones, W Mobberley and Jip Foster. Along the same lines was Rajat with Quack to life.

The charming Cheese and Quackers was suggested by Tom Ralph and Tony Doyle, while Chill Bill was sent in by Anne, Jeff and Steve Jackson. There was also Canard-ly believe it from Savo in Surrey and Peter Forrester.

Honourable mentions go to Dave Smith for The Duck of Hazard, Nigel Macarthur for See you later, (in the) refrigerator, Rod Evan for Hard Duck Story and Tim Francis-Wright for
Webbed Feat .

But our favourites this week were Duck-billed Lazarus from Gareth Jones, Mall-'ard as nails from Giles and "Charged with faking your own death, how do you plead?" "Not guilty, Mullard!" from David Regan. Bravo.

Comments

  1. At 01:57 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Pip wrote:

    Duck Cheyned

  2. At 02:01 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Pat McGarry wrote:

    Cold Duck whine.

  3. At 02:14 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Rob Mullan wrote:

    Crack shot's quack shock

    Well hard mallard

  4. At 02:15 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:

    Fine cut marred mallard

  5. At 02:17 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:

    Fowl shot!

  6. At 02:19 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Tony Doyle wrote:

    Duck Chaney II

  7. At 02:20 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Tony Doyle wrote:

    Duck a la Orange (County)

  8. At 02:21 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:

    Down but not out.

  9. At 02:22 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Jip Foster wrote:

    Flight of Fantasy

  10. At 02:24 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Duck and grouse

  11. At 02:26 PM on 23 Jan 2007, James Hayward wrote:

    Plucking Lucky

  12. At 02:27 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Colin Nelson wrote:

    Duck's Hope

  13. At 02:27 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Mark Wrighton wrote:

    Duck and (re)cover

  14. At 02:30 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Ed Loach wrote:

    Duck a le range

  15. At 02:33 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Darren wrote:

    Mallardy (Mallard malady)

  16. At 02:35 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Stella Alvarez wrote:

    mallardy remedy
    or
    remedy for a mallardy
    Wade to go

  17. At 02:36 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Boris wrote:

    Ungentlemanly conduck

  18. At 02:36 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:

    Bring me the head of a Florida goose

  19. At 02:37 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Boris wrote:

    Ducky blasted

  20. At 02:39 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Tony Doyle wrote:

    Canard Shot

  21. At 02:40 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:

    Do you mind a struggle, Duck.

  22. At 02:41 PM on 23 Jan 2007, jj wrote:

    duck cheney II

  23. At 02:42 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Stig wrote:

    Ruddy lucky Duck

  24. At 02:44 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    The Fright of the Hunter

  25. At 02:44 PM on 23 Jan 2007, ewan shilland wrote:

    Many are culled but few are frozen..

  26. At 02:45 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Stig wrote:

    Safe-quacker

  27. At 02:46 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Up at the quack of dawn

  28. At 02:47 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Jon Bright wrote:

    Mall'ard

  29. At 02:49 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Get the lead out!

  30. At 02:50 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:

    Get down!

  31. At 02:52 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Freezer's jolly good limbo

  32. At 02:54 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:

    That rifled his feathers

  33. At 02:56 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Phil wrote:

    Duck and cover.

  34. At 02:58 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Keith Sippitt wrote:

    Keeping a cool head helped duck the situation

  35. At 02:58 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:

    Dabble indemnity

  36. At 02:59 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Phil wrote:

    Down but not out.

  37. At 02:59 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Boris wrote:

    Duckter Livingstunned, I presume...

    ; )

  38. At 03:04 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Keith Sippitt wrote:

    Keeping down helped cool headed duck fly to freedom

  39. At 03:05 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Stig wrote:

    It's a peeking duck

  40. At 03:06 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Tony Doyle wrote:

    Quack-erjack

  41. At 03:09 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Stig wrote:

    Deflib-gerator

  42. At 03:14 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Keith Sippitt wrote:

    Stunned shivering shot duck shoots out past shooters wife to sanctuary

  43. At 03:15 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:

    Foie Grasputin

  44. At 03:20 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Christy wrote:

    Mighty Duck

  45. At 03:22 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Duck under done

  46. At 03:22 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Duracell Bunny wrote:

    What a plucky ducker!!

  47. At 03:24 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    The Eider Sanction

  48. At 03:26 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Wings and knockabouts

  49. At 03:27 PM on 23 Jan 2007, John Sinclair wrote:

    'Quack, Quick!'

  50. At 03:29 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Pix6, Vienna wrote:

    Peeking Duck

  51. At 03:31 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Chris Berti wrote:

    "Clean bill of health"

  52. At 03:32 PM on 23 Jan 2007, cfalconer wrote:

    No quackers for supper

  53. At 03:36 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:

    Nervous drake down leads to quack-up.

  54. At 03:37 PM on 23 Jan 2007, colin wrote:

    Locked, Stocked and Two Smokin Barrels .

  55. At 03:37 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Joel wrote:

    Eider Down, Not Out

  56. At 03:37 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Mike Moorwood wrote:

    Duck gives hunter a cool reception.

  57. At 03:37 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Eider down

  58. At 03:40 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Jim Joska wrote:

    Eider Dead or Alive?

  59. At 03:40 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Phil wrote:

    Quacker back

  60. At 03:42 PM on 23 Jan 2007, wilf wrote:

    None for the pot

  61. At 03:45 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Gillian D wrote:

    Duck and recover!

  62. At 03:46 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Bas wrote:

    Cold-try

  63. At 03:47 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:

    Duck duck deuce

  64. At 03:49 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Orville's new song - 'I wish I could fry'

  65. At 03:50 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Gillian D wrote:

    I should be so ducky

  66. At 03:51 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Orville's new song - 'I wish I could fry'

  67. At 03:53 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Gareth Jones, Isle of Anglesey wrote:

    Quack's Up Duck?

  68. At 03:54 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Leandre Clarke wrote:

    Cold Duck is best served chilled.

  69. At 03:55 PM on 23 Jan 2007, David Murray wrote:

    I'll be quack

  70. At 03:57 PM on 23 Jan 2007, David Murray wrote:

    I'll be quack

  71. At 03:58 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:

    A hunting, well hello

  72. At 03:58 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Mark Grout wrote:

    One fresh mallard, wife hears pate of tiny feet.

  73. At 04:03 PM on 23 Jan 2007, sarah trieste italy wrote:

    I'd a duck down.

  74. At 04:05 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Lee Pike wrote:

    Duck a l'twinge

  75. At 04:06 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:

    Once sittin', twice spry

  76. At 04:06 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:

    Nigh bye birdie

  77. At 04:08 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    What's up duck?

  78. At 04:08 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Ed Munro wrote:

    Punorama,

    Probably for the gazillionth time but it has to be 'Bird Flew'

  79. At 04:10 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Sarah wrote:

    Le Mallard in Frigidaire

  80. At 04:10 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:

    Fowl shot - freeze away. (I watch too much snooker).

  81. At 04:12 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Brendan Halfweeg wrote:

    Peeking duck in fridge, woman’s fowl run saves game

  82. At 04:12 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Lee Pike wrote:

    Cold and flew

  83. At 04:18 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:

    Duck duck loose

  84. At 04:18 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Down in the Mouth

  85. At 04:20 PM on 23 Jan 2007, vanetia wrote:

    There once was a lucky duckling - it's feathers all shot at and torn . .

  86. At 04:24 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Valérie Falconer wrote:

    Mallard malade

  87. At 04:28 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    A Fridge Too Far.

  88. At 04:29 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Daffy Luck

  89. At 04:30 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Pix6, Vienna wrote:

    Downy, but not out.

  90. At 04:30 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Sigh of the Hunter

  91. At 04:33 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Wade a minute!

  92. At 04:33 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Rob Falconer wrote:

    A foul canard

  93. At 04:37 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Foil it duck

  94. At 04:37 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Freeze a jolly good fellow

  95. At 04:39 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Le Mallard Non-Imaginaire

  96. At 04:39 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    She's still in the beak of condition.

  97. At 04:41 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Drake that!

  98. At 04:43 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    That was the beak that was.

  99. At 04:44 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Going well for feathers!

  100. At 04:45 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Our tethered friends

  101. At 04:47 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Duck a la strange!

  102. At 04:47 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Wing something simple.

  103. At 04:47 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Jel wrote:

    CanHard One

  104. At 04:50 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Tim Knott wrote:

    Duck and Re-Cover

  105. At 04:51 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Out of the frying pan and not to expire.

  106. At 04:54 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Bex wrote:

    clean bill of health

  107. At 04:54 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Tim Knott wrote:

    Quack Quack survives Ack Ack

  108. At 04:55 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Bex wrote:

    foul play

  109. At 04:56 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Bex wrote:

    clean bill of health

  110. At 04:56 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Tony Doyle wrote:

    Crisp n'drake

  111. At 04:57 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Bex wrote:

    it's no yolk, ducky

  112. At 05:03 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Steven wrote:

    tis but a fowl wound!

  113. At 05:03 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Purdy wrote:

    quack shot

  114. At 05:10 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Paul Robinson wrote:

    It's OK, Elmer, we don't need that orange any more.

  115. At 05:15 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Catherine O wrote:

    Medical Bill

  116. At 05:19 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Stella wrote:

    Donald Ducked.

  117. At 05:36 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Op-pressed Duck

  118. At 05:38 PM on 23 Jan 2007, just jo wrote:

    Ducked out

  119. At 05:45 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Cayley wrote:

    Duck filled Sarnibox

  120. At 06:03 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Glop wrote:

    The mallard 'e lingers on

  121. At 06:11 PM on 23 Jan 2007, giles wrote:

    duck and recover

  122. At 06:16 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Muhammad Isa wrote:

    Faulty Duck Surprise

  123. At 06:17 PM on 23 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Tweets, shoots and freeze.

  124. At 06:20 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    I'm a Muscovy, get me out of here.

  125. At 06:27 PM on 23 Jan 2007, wrote:

    "You must be quackers! Eider rather thought you would pick up the bill for this one"

  126. At 06:48 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Stig wrote:

    Luck, duck and both barrels

  127. At 06:52 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Stig wrote:

    luck-a-duck-icicle

  128. At 06:52 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Brett Mitchell wrote:

    From a snack... to the Quack !!

  129. At 07:04 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Like a duck to slaughter.

  130. At 07:09 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Heartbreak Fridge

  131. At 07:10 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Matt Collinson wrote:

    Following the incident vets gave the duck a clean bill of health

  132. At 07:21 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:

    Seen on the web.

  133. At 07:22 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Kristy wrote:

    Cool customer or freshest food?

  134. At 07:23 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:

    Game for a laugh

  135. At 07:25 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Darren Skinner wrote:

    A Bird in the fridge is worth two in the bush.

  136. At 07:30 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Darren Skinner wrote:

    The Mighty Ducks Rise Again!

  137. At 07:44 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Sam Kleeman wrote:

    Life of Bird

  138. At 07:44 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Valérie Falconer wrote:

    Quack doctor needed

  139. At 07:47 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Brian Ó Broin wrote:

    "Lord love a duck"

  140. At 07:56 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Brian Ó Broin wrote:

    "Kill Bill, Part IV"

  141. At 07:57 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Brian Ó Broin wrote:

    "Down, but not out."

  142. At 07:59 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    After Mallard

  143. At 08:13 PM on 23 Jan 2007, ian wrote:

    Its driventhe poor bird quackers!

  144. At 08:14 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Half a Mallard

  145. At 08:18 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Sarah, Dartmouth, NS wrote:

    Cool and Unusual.

  146. At 08:40 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Chris A wrote:

    And when she shouted "duck" I said where?

  147. At 08:57 PM on 23 Jan 2007, MCK wrote:

    Duck and Recover

  148. At 09:08 PM on 23 Jan 2007, sarah trieste italy wrote:

    Shelf life

  149. At 09:08 PM on 23 Jan 2007, gaynor wrote:

    Not suitable for home freezing.

  150. At 09:38 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:

    Bangers and stash

  151. At 09:42 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:

    Struck duck truce

  152. At 09:52 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Martin Price wrote:

    Down of the Dead

  153. At 09:56 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:

    Yikes! A duck that's been hit over the lead

  154. At 10:00 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:

    On a wing and a scare

  155. At 10:05 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Muhammad Isa wrote:

    Duck rushed to quack

  156. At 10:09 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:

    Peeking duck

  157. At 10:10 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Suzanne Jenkins wrote:

    Peeking duck found in hunter's fridge - two days after being shot.

  158. At 10:11 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Shalim wrote:

    How about this one:

    Mal-Hard!

  159. At 10:15 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    It's a trance this drake

  160. At 11:08 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Code blue - a duck

  161. At 11:15 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Winny S wrote:

    Eider he's dead or he's not

  162. At 11:30 PM on 23 Jan 2007, Rachel in Perth wrote:

    duck a la strange

  163. At 02:10 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Murray Milne wrote:

    Duck liver

  164. At 03:47 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Brian Gunn wrote:

    You think this is bad wait till you see the bill

  165. At 03:48 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Tom Ralph wrote:

    I am the resurr-egg-tion

  166. At 03:52 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Brian Gunn wrote:

    Poultry in motion

  167. At 04:17 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Brian Gunn wrote:

    I'm off to the quack

  168. At 04:54 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Tom Ralph wrote:

    No harm, no fowl

  169. At 05:00 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Tom Ralph wrote:

    One flew over the chicken breast

  170. At 05:13 AM on 24 Jan 2007, sarah trieste italy wrote:

    Maladroit hunter

  171. At 05:34 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Brian Gunn wrote:

    Duck foiled paté lust

  172. At 07:45 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Adam Pett wrote:

    Desert Eagle 0.75

  173. At 07:58 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Bryan Poor wrote:

    Duck down but not out.

  174. At 08:40 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Dave Smith wrote:

    " Duck's off...sorry !!"

  175. At 08:43 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Dave Smith wrote:

    " The Duck is a Con....Fit and well !"

  176. At 08:45 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Dave Smith wrote:

    " He's Eider dead.......or alive !"

  177. At 08:48 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Dave Smith wrote:

    " Duckin and Survivin' !"

  178. At 08:58 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Dave Smith wrote:

    " It's not looking good for Duck down on its luck "

  179. At 09:14 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Joy West wrote:

    Freezer jolly good fowl-ow!

  180. At 09:24 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Douglas Lee wrote:

    Peppered duck goes cold turkey

  181. At 10:05 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Kate Lilley wrote:

    Bombed Dazed Duck, to Rise

  182. At 10:06 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Richard E wrote:

    Plucky duck.

  183. At 10:11 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Anna Lilley wrote:

    Eider downed

  184. At 10:13 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Mike Thomas wrote:

    "I am afraid that the 'Duck Lazarus' is off tonight sir"

  185. At 10:16 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Michael wrote:

    I'll be quack

  186. At 10:22 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Helene Parry wrote:

    The quack and the dead

  187. At 10:40 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Derek Behan wrote:

    Eider down but not out

  188. At 10:44 AM on 24 Jan 2007, david regan wrote:

    Duck chilled flapped at us!

  189. At 10:50 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Robin, Edinburgh wrote:

    Duck and Re-cover

  190. At 10:50 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Les Bean wrote:

    Quacks optimistic but fowl play suspected after Donald emerges from cold turkey

  191. At 10:52 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:

    Risen from the gravy.

  192. At 10:59 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Andy wrote:

    Duck and re-cover

  193. At 11:07 AM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Hell for feathers

  194. At 11:37 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Becks wrote:

    Eiderdown but not out

  195. At 11:39 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Garrett Moynihan wrote:

    Struck duck in luck, chilled but not killed and grilled.

  196. At 11:46 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Julie B wrote:

    Glazed roosted duck

  197. At 11:47 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Nick Rikker, Barcelona, Spain wrote:

    Shelf life after death.

  198. At 11:54 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Pat wrote:

    Shocked housewife faces rising bill

  199. At 11:54 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Gearoid wrote:

    From the sublime to the 'reduckulous'

  200. At 11:57 AM on 24 Jan 2007, Murray Milne wrote:

    Liver Bird

  201. At 12:08 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Raleigh wrote:

    Duck spins an intricate webbed of de-feet.

  202. At 12:09 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Tony, Petersfield wrote:

    Quack to the Suture

  203. At 12:25 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Rajat wrote:

    Bill of life

  204. At 12:29 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Ken Donald wrote:

    Duck!

  205. At 12:30 PM on 24 Jan 2007, The Curious Squid wrote:

    Birrrrr-d

  206. At 12:31 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Kip wrote:

    Illius me paenitet, ducks.

  207. At 12:40 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Meg wrote:

    Phew Canard!

  208. At 12:56 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Candace wrote:

    Quackers and freeze

  209. At 01:02 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Anne wrote:

    Freeze and quackers

  210. At 01:08 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Will J. wrote:

    Fridge full of Quackers

  211. At 01:19 PM on 24 Jan 2007, william bushell wrote:

    Duck and Re-Cover

  212. At 02:12 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Theron Bigland wrote:

    duck and (re)cover

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