Paper Monitor
To mark the premiere of Casino Royale, a round-up of poor Bond-related headlines from today's papers.
• Blond. James Blond (Times)
• Royale occasion (Guardian)
• Licensed to chill (Daily Mail claims HM calmed Daniel Craig's nerves)
• GEMS BOND (Sun, which gets points deducted for questionable taste for "STRESS-COTHICK". Very poor indeed.)
• The name's Bond. Treasury Bond. (FT - and no, Paper Monitor didn't make it up)
The Times also reports on what the crowd at the premiere were saying. One man had a sign proclaiming "Blond but still Bond. Good luck Daniel, your true fans support you." (You mean there's a problem with bogus Daniel Craig fans going round?) The same man also told the paper that "The anti-Daniel Craig people wouldn't dare turn up today." Too busy campaigning against the dumbing down of I'm A Celebrity, perhaps. Or maybe painting their "Bring Back Ferdie" banners for the This Life revival. Some people just have too much time on their hands. (They need to discover the simple but healthy pleasures of the Monitor.)
PS. At last a use for a wallchart. The Times also reports how twitchers in Montrose were getting excited by spotting a Mediterranean red rumped swallow. But soon after they had reached for their binoculars (and the relevant "Birds of the World" giveaway) a Scottish sparrowhawk appeared, "swooped on the swallow, crushed it with its powerful talons and flew off with its Mediterranean dinner".