Paper Monitor
10:33 UK time, Thursday, 12 October 2006
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Nothing enrages the press pack more than a miserable performance by the England football team. So when England goalie Paul Robinson miss-kicked a back pass and watched the ball sail into the back of his net, during last night's Euro qualifier against Croatia, who won 2-0, the headline writers began sharpening their pencils (and humming a certain Simon and Garfunkel tune).
0-2 to you, Misses Robinson - the Daily Mirror
Here to you… misses Robinson - the Express
It's down to you, misses Robinson - the Sun (back page)
APPAULING - the Sun (front page, early edition)
ROBBISH - the Sun (front page, later edition)
Robinson Clouseau - the Daily Telegraph
Horrible bobble, toil and trouble - the Times (Robinson later blamed the blunder on the ball bobbling over a divot in the turf.)
It was the clod's fault, but which one? - the Guardian
Never a good pun zone, the FT plays it straight with "Old faults betray new England". The Independent, meanwhile, opts for the bewildering "System failure". Clearly the Indy's got better things to be getting on with, such as its free double-sided glossy print of classic photography. Today's subjects are Tony Blair and, on the other side, Margaret Thatcher. Somehow, Paper Monitor can't imagine readers reaching for the Blu-Tack.
The Telegraph has no freebies to speak of, but is following a growing trend among the qualities in using its pages to advertise its own extra-curricular commercial activities... in this case the launch of its music download website. "At the Telegraph site you'll now be able to buy music from a catalogue of more than half a million tracks, from Slayer to Sibelius." Slayer! My how times have changed at the Telegraph.
The 
