Paper Monitor
12:42 UK time, Monday, 11 September 2006
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
鈥淭his is Chris Tarrant, he鈥檚 a forgetful man, he forgets because he doesn鈥檛 exercise his brain. He鈥檚 even forgotten his wedding anniversary, this is why he鈥檚 playing Dr Kawashima鈥檚 Brain Training.鈥
So reads an advert appearing in Monday鈥檚 Independent, illustrated with a pensive looking Mr Tarrant. With consummate tabloid timing, Mr Tarrant also appears on the front page of the Daily Mirror, under the headline 鈥淭arrant and the bimbos鈥, in which his wife defends him by saying 鈥淐hris was so drunk he wouldn鈥檛 know if he kissed anyone鈥.
What? Even with Dr Kawashima鈥檚 Brain Training?
Elsewhere, the Daily Mirror is still engaged in its family-friendly theme, with the front page dominated by Babar the Elephant, the current DVD give-away, standing shoulder to shoulder with a 9/11 anniversary picture.
And the big news on page three is that Postman Pat鈥檚 early years are going to be revealed, in a Godfather-style retrospective film. This includes the nuggets that Greendale鈥檚 favourite son supports Pencaster United and is scared of heights.
Meanwhile the Independent is upping the stakes in the give-away poster war 鈥 by launching a double-sided poster, trees on one side, human skeleton on the reverse.
At least this means there will be more to look at on a poster than on the cover of the Independent, which has gone for one of its stat-attack front covers to mark 9/11. This looks like Big Knowledge meeting Clever Design until you actually read it and see it includes such dull details as 鈥11: Weeks the 9/11 commission鈥檚 final report was top of New York Times鈥 non-fiction best-seller list.鈥
The Guardian, on the principle four-legs good, six-legs better, has taken flight with its own poster campaign: Garden insects. They鈥檙e all there - ladybirds, beetles, earwigs, a damselfly 鈥 the whole gang. The coverage is comprehensive, right down to the ones with names that make less high-minded people snigger 鈥 such as 鈥渃ommon cockchafer鈥 (melolontha melolontha).
But this eco-awareness is blown away by what must be one of the least predictable campaigns to have emerged from the tabloids in recent years.
This is the Sun鈥檚 Global Warning week 鈥 with Monday鈥檚 paper packed with the type of apocalyptic global warming stories that we haven鈥檛 seen since 鈥 almost every edition of the Independent. There鈥檚 even a map showing most of Britain disappearing below rising water levels.
And who has the big picture by-line above 鈥10 Years to save planet鈥? It鈥檚 Al Gore, the Sun鈥檚 kind of fella. At the top of every page in the news section, there鈥檚 a green factoid: 鈥淭emperatures in Alaska, western Canada and eastern Russia have risen almost 4C in past 50 years 鈥 twice the global average.鈥
The front page also pushes the green theme with a big picture of a cheerful family on a beach and the radical, eco-warrior message: 鈥淏e Green And Forget Going Abroad. 123 parks in the UK. Collect token token, page 23.鈥
And it鈥檚 Monday, so the Daily Express has a front-cover picture of Princess Diana.
The 
