Monster Memories
There was a snarling dinosaur terrorising small children in Inverness city centre this afternoon, but no one was paying much attention to it. When you live just a few miles from Loch Ness, you become a bit blase about the sight of prehistoric creatures. In fact, when you come to think about it, exhibiting a monster into Inverness is a bit like exhibiting a lump of granite in Aberdeen or opening a tartan souvenir shop on Edinburgh's Royal Mile. Not likely to cause a stir.
But this dinosaur was there as part of a fund-raising trek from Land's End to John O'Groats. You could have your photograph taken with it, or even sitting astride two baby monsters, and then donate money in aid of a . A nice idea and, indeed, small children were all over it. Tiny tots with no fear.
I don't think I was so brave when I was their age. I have an early memory of watching a TV programme about Nessie and then anxiously asking my mother if it really did exist.
"Of course not, " she assured me, " and besides we're in Glasgow and Loch Ness is hundreds of miles away."
When she left the room one of older brothers decided to exploit my fear.
"Aye, Loch Ness is hundreds of miles away right enough," he said, "but the Loch Ness Monster is so big that it can walk one mile in each step. If it came out of the water now it could be outside our house in five minutes. Maybe four minutes. Or three."
I don't think I slept much that night.
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