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Pillow Shock

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Jeff Zycinski | 14:15 UK time, Wednesday, 17 December 2008

There was almost a fist fight on Good Morning Scotland today. At least, that's what it sounded like when Gary Robertson and Isabel Fraser started taking sides on the subject of man-flu. Now, this caught my attention because I've been shuffling about the house for the past three days with watery eyes and pockets bulging with used tissues. Not man-flu, just a bad cold.

"You look like a methadone addict." said Mrs Z as I ripped open one of those new-fangled sachets of paracetamol syrup and sucked greedily at the gloop within. The manufacturers claim it will relieve the symptoms of cold, chills, headaches, shivers, aches, pains, blocked nose and sinuses. They also claim it will give you a "chesty, productive cough". Yeeuuch!

Mrs. Z, it has to be said, has also been suffering from a wee bit of cold but hers must only be a fraction as awful as mine because she is still able to function like a normal human being, take children to school, hoover, make meals etc. I, on the other hand, have been having little naps and nodding feebly when offered cups of tea and digestive biscuits.

Until this morning, that is, when the row broke out in the GMS studio and there were claims and counter claims about whether men or women were more prone to take time off work for illness. It all sounded ugly and clearly the entire radio station was falling to pieces without my guiding hand. I threw back the duvet and announced to the household that I would now be resuming my place in normal society.

"The ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ needs me!" I said, "This is what public service is all about."

Mrs Z. said nothing. I guess she was overcome with pride.

I guess.


P.S I've just discovered that those sachets contain alcohol and now that I've sobered up I'm wondering why I'm sitting at my desk in my pyjamas.

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