Nazis With The Laughing Face
"What do you call those German guys?" asked Zedson, as we sat in the foyer of the Vue cinema in Inverness, watching the overhead monitors screen the trailer for the movie.
"Are they Nantcies? Nancys?"
"Nazis", I corrected him, "The Nancys are those girls on the telly who are competing for a part in Oliver!"
But his mistake prompted a rather tasteless flight of fancy in which we imagined Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber auditioning swastika-clad cabaret artists for the revival of a Mel Brooks musical. We then watched the trailer for Ironman and speculated about an alternative plot in which the leading character could press shirts faster than a speeding bullet. Then we saw the big diorama display for this summer's sequel to The Mummy and we invented a plot about an ultra-caring parent who saves the world using only cuddles and bedtime stories. I did the rasping voice-over for that one:
"It's never too late...to be tucked in!"
All of which seemed much more logical than the Indiana Jones film itself. I mean, don't get me wrong, we enjoyed all the action sequences...even though the sword-play was reminiscent of Pirates of the Caribbean. Zedson gave the movie nine out of ten, which is generous for him.
But on the way home he was still confused about the actual story. I couldn't help much, mainly because I'd nipped back to the foyer half-way through in search of coffee. Or anything with caffeine in it.
Still, nine out of ten. Just one point deducted.
Not enough Nancys, I guess.
