成人快手

I rigged up my model radio control to my father's shop doorbell and had great fun every time he tried to get to our flat upstairs to get his coffee. At one point he crept out of the rear of the flat and hid around the corner to pounce on whoever was causing the shop bell to ring. I was the picture of innocence - how could it be me? I was upstairs all the time!

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Yes I have been fooled on April 1st.

Continually by the brainwashing that consecutive govs telling us the tax has to rise, tighten our belts, domestic spending has to be cut when all they have to do is stop overseas spending which will bring in almost 拢trillion.

Isn't the Libertines reunion an April Fool?
They sound awful.

Yes i got caught this morning by David Cameron saying 23 captains of industry back him over his plans to scrap nat ins when he has no credible way of funding that move just trying to please the general public,when will he learn you can not please all the people all the time just some of the people some of the time,first rule of goverment and he,s failed before he has started.
If we know that what chance has he got?

p.s labour will probs get 40 captain lol to get back at them.all very chilish really.

#2 - Spot on.

Some lad told me he was going to give us a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty.

Stitched me up good and proper.

Yes fooled by labour for the last thirteen years, but not for much longer.
Vote labour, vote for liars.

Cue lots of pithy and utterly tedious anti-Labour comments.

Please guys, just funny stories

Even infants don't get taken in by this april 1st rubbish anymore.

Can we have an embargo on people saying, 'yes i've been fooled by Brown/Cameron etc?'

Its just so excruciatingy obvious.

Man I was really caught out this year, I am always aware something odd will be published in the press to try and fool us. But NuLabour been written about been caring and wanting to control immigration is the best one I've seen since the People will vote on a EU referendum.

I think I was April Fooled by Alistair Darling and Peter Mandelson on TV this morning....the problem is im not sure if I was or not simply because you can't trust a word they say at any time of year let alone on April the 1st !!!

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The scary thing is, if the 成人快手 run that Panorama program about the Spaghetti today, I actually think even more people would believe it than did when it was show in the 60's, such is the backward progression of the knowledge of many people today.

Wasn`t that an early April fools day ..or was it really Tony Bliar we saw ? then again this goverment saying they are going to be tough on immigration i laughed in my morning cuppa .

I was fooled by Tesco putting their petrol price up yesterday for the extra 1p duty rather than today when it was supposed to come in. Oh how I laughed, whilst muttering something about "thieving custards" or similar.

i have been pretending i joined the army! so funny haha

I was fooled when Gorgon Brown announced that his hated arch nemesis, forced to resign through sleaze accusations and dodgy mortgage loans and rejected by his electorate Peter Mandelson, was being brought back into government undemocratically.

At first I laughed now I just cry.

My April Fool's Day came a little early this year - so I wasn't expecting it.

I turned on my TV and saw what I can only describe as an alien being.

He was introduced as Tony Blair but the person on the screen was like no Tony Blair I ever knew. A strange orange glow eminated from his skin and he spoke with an American accent. Strangest thing of all was that he spoke fondly of Gordon Brown - a man he patently disliked just three years ago.

It was as though a boil I thought had been lanced had reappeared ten times bigger and twice as painful. Please tell me it was just a dream/nightmare!!

Cmon people whats with all the gov comments. There are and will be many occasions to mention your political views and while you cant be wrong calling a arty a bunch af liers, its because thats what they do. So lets get back to the light hearted topic of april fools day.

I did get someone this morning. Told family I had won money on the lottery (I dont ever play). Made her laugh when I told her the truth. Cheered someone up, my quota for the day ;)

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Many years ago my son, bless him, fooled me into believing that he had heard that a 'dog's toilet' area was to be placed on the green directly in front of my house. I was incandescent with rage and phoned my local council to complain only to find they had no idea what I was talking about. Don't you just love kids?

This is the same child that on another occasion took the wheels from his father's new vehicle and left it standing on bricks. They do say that your grandchildren are your reward for putting up with you children. I can well believe that.

Most governments are elected by fooled people.

Last year I read a great article (not 成人快手) about a woman in florida driving into a body of water and being violent with the police who had to taser her to get her out before the crocs got her. It was very well written and nobody guessed is was false until it was revealed after mid day. 'The reg' got us good and proper

No.

Not me personally but one colleague of mine had just got her pride and joy car back from the garage of hitting another car in a supermarket car park.

One of my other colleagues came running into the office looking all flustered and apologising to her, saying he'd hit the accelerator, not the brake and run in the back of her.

Her face was an absolute picture as she charged outside to see her car in perfect condition. Luckily she saw the funny side.

We told a work experience kid one April Folls Day that the big rolls of bubble wrap in the packing department had to be pumped up because the air leaked slowly out of them over time and made them unusable. The whole department watched in stitches as he tried to re-inflate them with an air hose!

Another popular one when working in a pub was for a customer to ask for a 'Guinness Shandy' and then watch as a new barman tried in vain to make one (you can't!!).

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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

Google appear to have released a new app - Animal Translator - has to be an April Fools.

And just to add, I share the sentiment of other posters - all this whining about the government, the election, immigration....blah blah blah

Yes, I was fooled into thinking this would be a funny HYS but it's just full of people whining about the government.

Anyhoo.

My bet is on the French Shakespeare story.

In the forums I frequent the avatars are suddenly sporting hats (or parrots), and they've programmed an evil very realistic-looking bug that runs across your screen.

The best April Fool I've ever heard was the young apprentice mechanic sent out to get a length of Falopian Tube. When he arrived at the usual supplier he was asked 1/2 inch or 3/4 - so he phoned his employer who said 1/2". "Ah" said the employer "we only have 3/4 in stock - but you might get it down the road". A morning was spent running around suppliers. It may be an apocryphal story but this beats by a mile the age old 'sky hooks', 'long stands' and 'sparks for the grinder'.

By the way, have you noticed how many budding politicians are on HYS... plenty of people on HYS have lots and lots to say, but often without actually answering the actual question. Maybe HYS shoud take a leaf out of Radio 4's "Just a Minute" and cry foul at deviation and repetition.

I did like #14's comment on the Spaghetti April fool - it is sad to say that this is spot on. When kids are brought up with no idea where or from what animal their food comes from how could the possibly know. When asking where are the avocados in my local supermarket the young girl asked What's an avocado"

Someone told me Rolf Harris was dead. Who would do such a thing!?!

I'm lying low till lunch time, I hate practical jokes.

Just remembered another one! We once told an apprentice that the computer that ran the bar-code printer worked on voice recognition, and that to get it to print a new barcode, you had to tell it the sequence of lines by reading them from the proof. So the poor guy sat there with a microphone that we connected to the back of the PC with tape saying 'thin, thin, thin, thick...' for about 20 minutes before someone asked him what on earth he was doing!

Someone text me that Gordon B had been to see Liz last night to abolish government to call a snap election, an email telling me that Mandelson had been forced to resign after being photographed taking a brown paper envelope off of Movie boss David Geffin, a note through the letterbox saying that Cameron had been found out to have been born in a council house in a sink hole estate and finally via word of mouth that the Lib Dems are favourites to win the General Election....

What a day....

Perhaps not really April's Fool, but my husband is a maths teacher and trundled off to school today with a lot of mathematical jokes and puzzles - it's the last day of term as well as April 1st.

Here's one for you:

Five men are stranded on a desert island. Their resources consist of one coconut palm and a stray monkey. They gather up all the coconuts in a big pile and settle down for the night. The first chap on watch decides to divide the coconuts between the five of them and to take his share now. When he divides them into five equal piles, there's one left over so he gives it to the monkey, before taking his portion away. Each successive person does the same, and each time there is one left over and the monkey gets lucky.

What is the minimum number of coconuts required to achieve this?

I have always enjoyed the media April fool stuff. Years ago the Guardian did a 4-page spread about a spoof pair of islands called "Sans Serif" shaped like a semicolon. Four pages...

I have been on the lookout today but my biggest source of amusement is that on so many occasions I thought I had spotted one, only to realise it was serious. Really funny but a sad reflection on our times...

Just to see what I mean I invite readers to make a start by looking at any story containing the words "brown", "balls", "mandelson" or "government".

As far as personal April fool jokes go, I'm enjoying glorious sunshine after expecting the rain that those mischievous Met Office April Fool Department folks predicted. But am I complaining?

My naughty son phoned me this morning and said that he and his wife had decided to vote Labour. I nearly had a heart attack, and hung up on him. Five minutes later he phoned back to say that it was only an April Fool, and that his brother and sister had not been fooled at all, so what was wrong with me? The problem was that I had forgot that is was the 1st of April today, due to the freezing cold weather. Now, if anyone had phoned to say that we were going to get heavy snow at the beginning of April, I really would have thought it to be an April Fool.

What a sad lot you are thinking that April fool is just about goverment -
Over 40 years ago we had a zoo in our town, and on April fools days we used to leave a message on the newest office juniors desk that a Mr.C.Lyons had telephoned and would you ring him back on the number given.
It's amazing just how many times they kept asking the operator to speak to Sea Lions and never heard the bored operator keep repeating in a
droll voice.....this is the zoo.....this is the zoo.....this is the zoo.....
Only after many attempts did the penny drop and a very red faced junior leave the room.............& everybody went HAW! HAW! HAW!

AH! What innocent days they were back then.

When everyone in any position of authority or power in the world is mad, greedy, or both, it's hard not to think that every news story is a possible April Fool.

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I've got 4 points so far this year. Not my best haul but not bad.

I sent out a text message to my still sleepy friends saying that Barack Obama had resigned as president and was going to reveal the truth behind the 'Roswell Conspiracy'.

Worked like a charm because all my friends know I think conspiracy theories are total ****

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I sure was! By the HYS Comment 'Prisoners are being kept in jail because society is "too risk-averse" to allow them to be released on licence'.

No one in their right mind would believe what this guy said.

I don't think I have been caught out yet (if I have been caught out I won't know until the great reveal) - and I think I have found the April Fools on the Guardian and the Telegraph sites.

I do miss the days of living with my parents where every year my dad would put the clocks forward and swap the breakfast cereal boxes - we all played along as he loved feeling he had "fooled" us.

Although, I always thought that the famous Spagetti Harvest April Fools wouldn't have been official - as to my knowledge the "Fool" needed to be done before noon?

Last year some of my chums played an hilarious April Fool's joke on me that still makes me laugh until I am sore. They all hid in my room in the dark, and when I walked in they flicked on the lights, screamed "SURPRISE" and then held me down and beat me mercilessly for about half an hour before changing their tactic and becoming very tender for a further two. How I laughed when they told me it was just a joke.

Dave
HMP Broadmoor

Long long ago, the rat who wired up the horn on my treasured Austin Healy Sprite to the brake light circuit. He got his comeuppance though he's as bald as a badger and suffers from piles now!

I'm a bit suspicious of this particular thread, maybe it's not actually April 1st!!

almost... i switched the tv on this morning and found mandleson on it (more in it).. he was saying how we are all gonna suffer in poorness and misery at the hands of the evil cons.. i almost believed him...

Here's a good un' which just arrived in my mailbox.

Face media Group are releasing bubblegum business cards. Blow up the gum to reveal card content. This trumps the Sun's lick the square spoof...

[Personal details removed by Moderator]

Did it fool me? Well yes it did for a few minutes until I scrolled down to the picture.

I'll get me coat...

Gordon Brown is already in hot water, so I don't see the point of coming up with the same old boring stuff in a discussion about April Fools Day

April foolery is one of the silliest and childish traditions that this country has to offer.

In late March 2005, we lost one of our pet ferrets, who had climbed the ivy on the garden wall and legged it away. We put up a few "lost ferret" posters, but a week went by, we heard nothing, so we thought him long gone. I had mentioned this sad event in the operating theatres, where I worked as an anaesthetist, but thought no more of it.
On the morning of April 1st, my wife received a call, supposedly from a neighbour in a nearby street, to say that she had found a ferret, matching Buster's description, in her garden. My wife put the ferret-box over her shoulder and virtually ran, joyously, round to the neighbour's house.
Needless to say, the bemused housewife knew absolutely nothing about Buster and pointed out to my embarrassed and angry wife, that it was April Fools Day.
The next day, a work colleague let it slip that a female medical student had been persuaded to act as the bogus housewife, by one of the consultant surgeons. To be fair to the guy, he did send my wife a bouquet of flowers and a note of apology. It was either that, or be verbally torn to shreds by a very angry woman.

One of my favourite message boards has, since the new year developed a war-like split between the people who like the show Glee and the people who loathe it. When I signed in, they've completely redesigned the site, covered it in pictures of the cast and renamed all the sections after characters.

I'm not sure who's having more fun, the fans posting Youtube videos of their favourite songs all over the place, or the loathers winding themselves up into an apoplectic rage.

I'm reminded everyday by an April fool, when ever Nu Labour open their traps about anything. What's the betting this get's moderated for being honest?

Told my colleague that he had a telephone enquiry while he was away from his desk. He quickly telephoned and asked to speak to Mr Lyons .............. at the zoo.

Now after Midday - too late!

"54. At 11:42am on 01 Apr 2010, 成人快手_HaveYourSay Host wrote:
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules. "

Is this an April Fool? Or is there a Host/Moderator rivalry going on that we don't know about?

The best of all, the "Apollo G" golf club (driver). With a shaft shaped like a car starting handle. It was guaranteed to give any golfer an extra 50 yards.........if you were lucky enough to hit the ball. Thousands of naive golfers wanted one, a manufacturer was even prepared to make a golf bag to fit it.

LOL @ #54 :-)


As others have mentoined, it's a shame that even the most light-hearted threads are ruined by the politically-obssessed. Don't these people realise how wretchedly tedious they are?

Shaunie said: Gordon Brown is already in hot water, so I don't see the point of coming up with the same old boring stuff in a discussion about April Fools Day

Shaun, are you devoid of any sense of humour? Humour and irony is a thing the British use to let off steam in a situation where they are unable to influence the situation directly. Smile you might get to like it...

Today, my History teacher came into my Year 13 History class and told us that the coursework we had completed, which had taken several months, had been done wrong as the teachers had misinterpreted the specification given by the exam board, and we were going to have to redo it. With another piece of coursework for history, and for several other subjects, due to be finished over Easter, my class and myself descended into a panic of mental anguish, some of us on the verge of bursting into tears. She left the room to "get another teacher to explain it to us", and in the five or so minutes she was gone we talked to one another, getting more and more upset, angry and panicked at the prospect. Returning, she then spent another five minutes going over what we might need to do to change it, comforting us and consoling us and genuinely putting on a brave face.

She then told us that there was something else as well. We feared the worst as she went to speak...

"April Fools!"

I think some of us actually did burst into tears at that. My mental state has officially been wrecked, and its taking me longer to get it back then it took to destroy it in the first place.

On the one hand, it's really funny. On the other hand, I am now a quivering wreck who may never regain her sanity.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

I really am getting bored with HYS forums now - not because of the topics (which are usually interesting and varied) but because of the display of oh-so-predictable human behaviour. This is a classic example. We have the people who:

- bring every SINGLE topic (and i mean EVERY ONE) back to labour being terrible. GIVE IT UP YOU'RE ALL LIKE A BROKEN RECORD.

- hijack light-hearted topics to tell people how they don't care and everyone's silly to discuss it, but they're leaving a comment anyway (one example: 'April foolery is one of the silliest and childish traditions that this country has to offer'. Silly and childish is sometimes good - life's short and hard. Lighten up!

- get unnecessarily angry/horrible/sour for absolutely no reason. Funnily enough I only see this kind of relentless pessimism/anger on the 成人快手 forum. On other sites, users appear to be more pleasant human beings.

- and just a few, lovely individuals who are like a breath of fresh air, who join in the spirit of things, and are serious when necessary, angry when it's warranted, and use humour when that is the point of the discussion. We need more of these people on HYS.

Here is a good one to fool a friend.

You get someone to ring their number and ask for Herman. Obviously you will be told that no-one of that name lives there.
The call gets repeated several more times before the caller rings for the final times and says 'I am Herman - have there been any calls for me?'

It never fails.

Yes.... I was april fooled when I went to the PETROL pump this mroning and found it to be 拢1.18 a litre...now thats a JOKE in its self..

My 6 year old son played a joke on his Grandad (who used to be a plumber). He came running down the stairs saying there was water dripping from the ceiling in the upstairs bedrooms, Grandad ran upstairs and indeed found water on the ceilings and puddles on the floor so went into the loft to investigate. An hour and half later and all pipes and the water tank painstakingly checked he was none the wiser so came down to see my little monkey waving his super soaker water pistol around!!. The little monkey had been spraying water on the ceiling - grrrr ;o)

59. At 12:04pm on 01 Apr 2010, SINNU1000PVD wrote:
I'm reminded everyday by an April fool, when ever Nu Labour open their traps about anything. What's the betting this get's moderated for being honest?

----

Its more likely to be moderated for being utterley boring & cringe-makingly predictable...

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

I was making a cabinet for my wife and I told her that I needed a "Piano Hinge" So she called out to say that she was going up to the town to get one, She apparently walked into our local musical instruments shop and asked the assistant for a Piano hinge, The assistant went off to his boss and asked him about the Piano hinge and he was laughing his head off, My wife was infuriated by him laughing at her, and he explained that she would have to go to Diy store to get it.
She came home slightly miffed and I burst out laughing and told her what a piano hinge was, She did see the funny side.

Yes - I believed the Labour government was for real.

"56. At 11:47am on 01 Apr 2010, Mr Jones wrote:
April foolery is one of the silliest and childish traditions that this country has to offer."

So? What point are you making, Mr Misery? I would call it a good thing to have silly and childish traditions.

Not fooled by the garbage spat out by 'Lord' Mandleson!

69. At 12:26pm on 01 Apr 2010, gingerheroine

oh dear - had a bad day?

Sellotaped the button down on a colleague's phone so it carried on ringing after she'd picked up

Childish I know but ....

Gordon Brown is an April fool.
Election please !

My trade is photography & printing. One April fools trick we used to play on juniors was to send them over to the chemist to buy some 'sharpo' powder to sharpen up prints that were out of focus! Worked every time!

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

"16. At 10:28am on 01 Apr 2010, Jamie wrote:
I was fooled by Tesco putting their petrol price up yesterday for the extra 1p duty rather than today when it was supposed to come in. Oh how I laughed, whilst muttering something about "thieving custards" or similar."

I must go to Tesco's if they only added 1p due to the duty change as the duty and VAT on fuel went up 2.35p over night (1p duty, 1up removal of bio-fuel rebate and .35VAT)

With regards to #41 then unfortunately I fell foul of the same prank, ringing London Zoo's number and asking for Mr C Lyons. I got my revenge by leaving a message on the pranksters desk saying 'Please call Duncan Goodhew on #######' and put down the number of the local swimming pool.

It is more appropriate for each political party when they write their manifesto's to add a footnote, simply saying "APRIL FOOL".

We鈥檝e all been fooled; on top of that, most of the time, we go around fooling others.
Here is a baby 鈥� totally innocent & newborn. Some church tells you unless you pour water over its head, the child is condemned to a special Purgatory, called "Limbo" where s/he will never see God. This seems ridiculous, but most Christian Churches that I know hold this mandate to be true, and that makes it believable. April Fools!
What if we had been told from the beginning that God is within us and we are within in God; seperation is an illusion?
We point there and say 鈥淭hat鈥檚 a beautiful car!鈥� We point here and say 鈥淲ow, look at the size of that tree.鈥� We name things and thereby make them concrete, but in fact, all things are the same thing: energy/ light - The slower the energy the more concrete the object seems, shape differentiated only by DNA.
I am this but I am also that: All is one, and ALL is God.
Who fooled us into believing that peoples were seperate, segregational, artificully differentiated - some even more important to God than others? Who caused us to hate ourselves and forget that we are ONE.
This generation, each generation, is fooled into believing that "WE" are the most sophisticated, technologially-gifted, knowledgeable; and yet not one person can tell another person what was the true use of they Pyramids? How were The Pyramids built? How did the Stonehenge stones get from faraway places to the place where they now stand?
Why can鈥檛 we smart, modern people duplicate even the most mundane of these feats.
Those who voted for Obama were lulled into a false sense of security and then dropped into the absurdity of trillion-dollar debt, two-digit unemployment, towns all but deserted, immigration out-of-control, old Bushites dragged out and dusted off to run Obama's key positions. Obama changed nothing, we believed he鈥檇 change everything. April Fools!

I woke uo this morning and read in the newspaper that the United States had a balanced budget, that Obama's health care initiative was fiscally sound and reasonable and the president himself admitted that there would be no more shady deals done in Washington, but then I turned the page and it read "April Fools".

There was a story in our local newspaper some years ago regarding the plan to make cars available for public use, free of charge, rather like the bicycles that were used in the same way at that time, the idea being to use the car for your own purposes for the day, then leave it for the next person. The photograph in the newspaper showed a row of cars in the scheme, and there was our old one heading the line in the Town Hall car park. Much impressed, and having fond memories of the vehicle, we made a special trip to see it. Needless to say, the car park was empty, and we quickly sidled away in case anyone saw us. To this day, we get amused looks from the editorial staff.

73. At 12:33pm on 01 Apr 2010, Pea Eye wrote:
59. At 12:04pm on 01 Apr 2010, SINNU1000PVD wrote:
I'm reminded everyday by an April fool, when ever Nu Labour open their traps about anything. What's the betting this get's moderated for being honest?

----

"Its more likely to be moderated for being utterley boring & cringe-makingly predictable..."

A predictable reply from yet another deluded NuLab follower. You can join the April fool list too.

Top marks to The Guardian for their . At least I think it's an April Fool, but it could just be real...

"#8. At 10:18am on 01 Apr 2010, Kevin wrote:
Cue lots of pithy and utterly tedious anti-Labour comments.

Please guys, just funny stories."

Yes because we all know there is nothing funny about 13 years of Labour!

OOPS!

www.dogw.co.uk It's an April Fool - but then again, it's not!

Yes, I happened to catch Cameron on the Today programme, Radio4, and what a joker he is, certainly made an April fool out of me!!!

My first job on leaving school was in a garage. The day was 1st April. The job was helping to change a tyre, for which I was told to get the rubber hammer. Confusion and embarrassment ensued as it was gently pointed out that there is actually a tool known as a rubber hammer, and that my disbelief didn't alter the fact of the matter. It's nearly 60 years ago, but still fresh in the mind.

I love the dog toilet one... clever child. I'm sure I heard somewhere that in Frnace everyone runs around chucking fish at each other...sounds quite good, certainly better than all the posters using it to continue whingeing about politics...April Fool's Day is for fun, and life is fun you know!

Can we please return to celebrating foolery on 鈥楾he Day of Mad Hares鈥�, at the end of March, instead? The fact that Queen Victoria once got the date wrong, and put a whoopee cushion under Disraeli a day late, is no reason for messing up hundreds of years of prior tradition.

90. At 1:06pm on 01 Apr 2010, SINNU1000PVD wrote:
73. At 12:33pm on 01 Apr 2010, Pea Eye wrote:
59. At 12:04pm on 01 Apr 2010, SINNU1000PVD wrote:
I'm reminded everyday by an April fool, when ever Nu Labour open their traps about anything. What's the betting this get's moderated for being honest?

----

"Its more likely to be moderated for being utterley boring & cringe-makingly predictable..."

A predictable reply from yet another deluded NuLab follower. You can join the April fool list too.

-----

Touche.

Thats why i come here, for the witty reparte.

Someone emailed me this morning to say that the Unite union takes guidance and influence from the British Communist Party, and then use this to influence the Labour party.

I replied, saying "You won't get me with that April fool."

He replied back to me saying that sadly it's not an April fool, it's actually true.

New job, learning "stuff" - working on a computer data entry thingy.....went to lunch, came back, a glaring message on my monitor, words to the effect (can't remember verbatim) basically,
"you have screwed this up royally and ruined this programme, please close down everything....."
I sat staring at the monitor, in absolute panic, my blood running cold, pulse at 300 bpm, and I'm sure my BP was at gasket blowing point, nearly lost my lunch.
Finally, a burst of laughter from co-workers.....oh, the relief, then I wanted to throttle them!