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So bring on the second...

Chris Evans | 14:31 UK time, Friday, 12 June 2009

...draft.

Second draft ! I had no idea. I write my book and hand it in on time and all that, and then it comes back like its been marked by an English teacher.

Never before has my computer seen such swathes of cutting and pasting as it did this morning. We are talking thousands of words at a time swapping places at the simple tap of a key. All very dramatic but all very necessary of course. They know what they're doing these book people.

Had another client dinner last night with all the high street big boys and girls who are going to stock the book, and ended up talking to the bloke who gave me my first break in telly. He's a gorgeous man by the name of Don, now retired and living on a rose farm on the Cote D'Azur. He was over at one of his old pal's memorial and they happened to be having the do in the same gaff as we were in.. He said he's been to so many recently he's not going to any more - too depressing.

He hired me to go and work for him because he heard me on a London radio station back in 1989 and said I sounded like I should be on the television. He then came to watch the show which only confirmed his suspicion. A week later I was on the air.

Good man Don - love you baby.

And love you to bloggers and blogettes. Hope your week has been all you want it to be - and if not - there'll be another one along before you know it.

Ireland for us on Sunday as I said - back Tuesday.

CLP

2009

XXX.

Comments

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  • Comment number 1.

    Me first !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Beezer xx

  • Comment number 2.

    I'll second that beezer !

  • Comment number 3.

    Have a good week-end in Ireland Chris and thank you - my week has been excellent indeed.

    Hiya Jeli - long time no blog

    Beezer xxx

  • Comment number 4.

    Ha ha

    it took me

    a while to

    lod on as i

    havent

    signed in

    for a while

    i forgot how

    to spell

    my name

  • Comment number 5.


    have also

    lost the

    gentle art

    of

    spelling !

    log not lod

    aargh


  • Comment number 6.

    Hi CLP - That Don's a smart chap....give him our thanks too next time you see him!

    Enjoy the Wedding and the speech.

    Copied from last blog.........
    Tango - I was at Twickers the last time we played France....t'was a great day!

    My bete noire (?) ...Wales!

    And club rugby....London Wasps or Dirty, Filthy, player stealing Wycombe Bees as I prefer to call them.

    Rips

  • Comment number 7.

    Hi Red,

    Your name still cracks me up, as I always read it as Jelly Belli.....

    Toodles

    Rips

    x

  • Comment number 8.

    Have a lovely time Chris and family.

    All request Friday would love to hear Luther Vandross Never Too Much or Montell Jordan Return of the Mack. They are just the sort of tunes I love to hear when the sun is hot and the evenings are long.

    Thanks Lampie pie

    Groovybradybunch. xxx

  • Comment number 9.

    LOL rips

    me and my

    not so jeli beli

    are just off

    on the

    school run

    i'll be back

    in 16,16,16 minutes

    TROY!

  • Comment number 10.

    ****ARF-Strawberry Switchblade- Since Yesterday

    Go On Chris.....you know you want to...

    TBx

  • Comment number 11.

    Af`noon..

    Sunny and warm and gorgeous up here... was going to be a `dinner`

  • Comment number 12.

    Ha,ha

    Red, we're all in this together eh!

    Rips hoping to soon lose his Jelly belly...

    x

  • Comment number 13.

    Rips...thanks for the rugger comments..although middle name is Evan (which my grandmother actually paid for...i.e. paid my Dad £500 for the privelage!!) I try and avoid the Welsh connection, so fully support glorious England.

  • Comment number 14.

    Oh h*ll - pressed post - sorry!

    anyhoo - as i was saying...

    was going to be a `dinner` tonight but now contemplating `firing up the barbie` as GM now always says... Gene Genie has a lot to answer for! Gas one chez Scoobs... with coals on tho so you get the authentic smel l without the crisp edged but otherwise raw piece of meat problem!

    Book drafts...having never written one (never mind a Pome) i wouldnt know the ins and outs but i`m sure we`ll all agree the words will be in the right order when we all read it come October time CLP!

    Right... TFI friday...5 down and 1 to go..been a loooonnnnggggg (but good on here!) week..

    Choclit run about to commence..

    mSc x

  • Comment number 15.

    Rips....this makes a change from all the girlie talk ay???

    More BBQ and Rugby goss' please!! Oh and don't forget Al. Cohol.!! FNBC tonight...

  • Comment number 16.

    Hi Groovybradybunch,

    Wasn't return of the Mack - Mark Morrison?

    Montel Jordan did 'This is how we do it'....whatever 'it' was?!

    I only mention because Mark and Lard used to constantly do and re-do the joke about M. Morrison, that when was released from prison he dwmanded the 'Return of the Mack'.....aqlways made me laugh.

    Rips

    x

  • Comment number 17.

    Whoever was talking about Beef for a photoshoot on old blog, I think its a good thing, must be a good cut of beef

    and talking of butchers and a like

    Have you noticed how bacon from a butcher tastes far better than any from anywere else, and it doesnt shrink as its not pumped full of water

    All hail the local butcher, Bacon, Beef and proper pork pies!

  • Comment number 18.



    Ah, Christophe, I merember that very show...and I've mentioned it on here before that you hold the distinction of broadcasting one of my very favritest bits of radio. Very, very funny!

    You may remember yourself...some bloke sent in a recording of him and his mates watching the eclipse...and all you could hear was them going 'Oooooooooooooh...'

    I guess you had to be there.

    Anyhoo, have a fine time best manning, and I'll see you the following Choosdee when I return from my holiday in Crete.

    dunno if I've already said about going on holiday
    love
    hazel
    x

    Walking on Sunshine, or Sunny...either / or...pip pip x

  • Comment number 19.

    Tango...Hear hear!

    I cannot wait to open my first cold one of the week tonight.....
    I shall torture myself by waiting until the nippers are in bed and the take-away has been delivered.

    Well....I'll try anyway.

    Did your Grandmother really pay your Dad to have the say so on your middle name?
    If so, that's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.....

    Brilliant...

    Can't help feeling we missed a trick there though

    Rips

  • Comment number 20.

    Sir Slim Jim - twas me on about the beef and as you are in my neck of the woods you may already use them?
    Bestist butchers around.

    Beezer xx

  • Comment number 21.

    Haze...think you did say something about a holiday, but not certain???

    Have a good one and be good, if you can't be good....!

    TBx

  • Comment number 22.

    Oh Scoobs.............did you have to??

    Mention choclit that is?

    I've had none in the house all week and due to the poorly tooth told myself it was for my own good, should stick to fruit instead etc etc - and now...........

    I WANT SOME CHOCLIT - NOW!!!!

    df

  • Comment number 23.

    I hope to attend FNWC this evening if I can get the little darlings to bed early enough.
    save me a seat peeps and not too close to the fire this time, last time i burned my ar, er arm.

  • Comment number 24.

    Rips....as God is my witness.....my (late)Dad actually went on to be a successful business man....guess that was one of his first deals??

    Glad I can laugh about it ay!!!

  • Comment number 25.

    Sir Jim,

    Couldn't agree more.....

    We have people come back to our house just for another Smoked Back Bacon sandwich....I also buy all our bbq meats from there, by the time they've thrown a few extra bits on for you...which they always do.....it's just as cheap and as you say, better quality!

    Rips

  • Comment number 26.

    Rips...you got will power man...I'll be reaching for a cold one before I'got me coat off....lol

  • Comment number 27.

    Now there's the thing Christophe .... one day I intend to write a book. Oh yes. Have dabbled in short stories and cherish those reject letters from the weekly women's magazines who took the time and trub to write back to little ole me with the "not quite what our readers want" letters.

    So to spend time, blood, sweat and tears over your biography and then be told to cut, paste, chip and pin, chop chop chop .... I'd be gutted!

    Best of luck with that!

    And likewise for your Best Man duty in Ireland. Just please do a better job than the "Best Man" (in the loosest sense) at our wedding. He was so nervous about his non-existent speech (he'd planned to wing it!), he got so sozzled during the meal, then stood up, belched and fell face down on the table without so much as uttering a single word.

    My lovely dad (also well on the way to a good hangover!) stood up and just said "well, how can I follow that" and sat down again!

    Oh how we laughed. Eventually!

    FNWC - yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

    Head_Over_Heels_Deevs
    x x x x x

  • Comment number 28.

    all this talk of a cold one has given me the idea of popping to the local off licence on the way home for a bottle of white wine for one.

  • Comment number 29.

    Go for it Keefee....don't stop at just one tho'....it's Friday!!!!

  • Comment number 30.

    Hi Deev - I have fully-written 3 novels on the laptop but can only get offers to publish them at my own expense - not an option just now!

    If you're not already famous or linked to someone who is, publishers rarely take chances on new fiction, it seems. But ghost-written novels 'by' ex-page 3 girls come out all the time. Why is that, I wonder?!

    [Sadly I'm way too old and would always have been far too modest/inhibited to go down that route!!]

    oh well............

    df

  • Comment number 31.

    This is turning out to be Thirsty Friday....sun shining outside now and starting to drool over thought of cold beer....bit like ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖr S!!!!!

  • Comment number 32.

    Rips......now we are talking about page 3 girls(Df#30).....just gets better and better!!!!!

  • Comment number 33.

    Mmmmmmmmmmm beer

  • Comment number 34.

    DF - soz! But cad Fruit n nut - cant be beaten! Hope ur tooth is better soon..

    and meant to say on other blog...yay to Tins! Fab news!

    SWF have a fab weekend!

    HL - if i`m not back..have a fabby fabby hol Ms Love... look forward to holiday pome on your return!

    And CTD - stick your stories on bloggers FB page - we`d all read it! THink anyone who can actually write a story deserves it being published somewhere!

    mSc x

  • Comment number 35.

    Ello CLP And ALL,

    Bingo Star ere........

    CLP - VERY interesting ter 'ear yer writing a book!!!!!!!!!
    What's it gonna be about iz the one question a need ter ask yer???????
    Sunflower seed sowing??????
    Nappy changing??????
    Steering a 'igh tech mixer through 2 'ours of live radio?????
    Come on give uz all a clue..... either way a don't read much or buy books but this iz a book a will buy and INDEED..... read!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    PS - Yesterdee a put me ARF choice on and ave realised a goot the name of one of me favourite bands wrong.... a put 'i-Fi and their excellent lively tune 'Livin' For The Weekend'....... soz a mean't 'ard-Fi' noot 'i-Fi'!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Easy error ter make when the mind iz under alotta streeeess!!!!!!!!!!!!

    GOURANGA And This Includes Yooooooo..hhhhooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh yes it does...... yer gotta believe me on the issue of GOURANGA sentimentations!!!!!!!!!!

    PPPS 'ope all people ere ave a very productive, passionate, en.....powering and prosperous weekend of pleasing pleasure.... you deserve it!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Comment number 36.

    DF - when I was looking for books to take on holibobs, I couldn't believe some of the biogs on the shelf: the woman who won the "Who will be my Nancy" show?!?! Chantelle from BB!

    I mean ... WHY????!?!?!

    I did read Blessed by George Best when I was away - very hard at times due to the situ with my late dad and the drink, but an excellent book. He seemed so full of hope when the books ends in 2002. Some things just aren't meant to be though, I guess.

    And can also recommend Pies & Prejudice. Just made me wanna venture ooop norf even more! Going to get Cider With Roadies at some point too.

    Well done on writing 3 novels - that's amazing!

    Deevs
    x

  • Comment number 37.

    #35 - VERY nearly me age..... but an age am never gonna see again!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Comment number 38.

    DF - yours too... love reading new authors!

    Now..does anyone know of a puplisher... CLP - help these fine people!

    *note to self..call for more adult pop on way home...do NOT forget...*

    mSc x

  • Comment number 39.

    Hi Scoobster,

    Is Hazel going on holiday...you'd have thought she'd mention it

    Rips

  • Comment number 40.

    #37 lucky for you ain't it Bingo???

  • Comment number 41.

    Grrrrrr! Don't you hate it when you quickly nip onto FB to check your messages, there's one waiting for you and they tell you they are working on the server so you can't get to you messages!

    Can I sue ...... ?!?!

    Deev x

  • Comment number 42.

    aye up Rips - i`m sure she mentioned it in passing....! good for you hazel dear!

    bit of help needed here pls..

    I`m off up to Scafell Pike in a few wks and need some accomodation pretty close..anyone know the area/have any suggestions pls?

    mSc x

  • Comment number 43.

    Deevski....think you may have too much time on your hands......can tell the boss is away can't you....lol :-)

  • Comment number 44.

    Friday first song request.
    Fergus Sings The Blues - Deacon Blue.
    Nothing better that a good parp on a Friday evening. I mean of the brass section of course.
    have a grrrreat weekend all.

  • Comment number 45.

    TB - first time I've been on there since lunchtime! I'm right proper busy, me!

    Honest!!

    ;-)

    Deevs
    x

  • Comment number 46.

    TangoBaz man, #37 aka 'a flea in 'eaven' aka 'a ain't goot a 'ouse in Devon' ....... this iz noot a lucky number for me Baz!!!!!!!!!!

    22 iz me BIG lucky number aka 'all the twos'..... errrr 'two little ducks' errrrr 22..... 'nice ter know you times two'!!!!!!!

  • Comment number 47.

    Baz - it's so lucky that this isn't a video blog or you'd be very disappointed! LOL

    Deev n' Scoobs - My novels may of course be total and utter sh**e - and I feel strangely embarrassed about letting people I know read any of them, in case they tell me that they are! [Or even worse - think that and lie about it to be kind!]

    So I always thought I'd publish them under a pseudonym anyway!

    They're also pretty 'clean' - not quite Mills and Boon level but more about suggestion and summary than huge detail - because I found I couldn't write 'those' scenes at all convincingly - even to my own biased eyes!

    I've only managed to get one ordinary publisher to read the synopsis of one - and they did the 'not really right for us' bit too! And I don't really trust the self-publisher one's judgements as if the author is paying for the work they do then it's in their interests to accept pretty much anything surely?

    df

  • Comment number 48.

    A a could so easily be a proffessional bingo caller!!!!!!!!

    In fact a waz until a caused a BIG punch up a few years ago at me local bingo club!!!!!!

    It's along story.... but it all started when 87 year old Aida, one of the regulars, shouted out loud for no reason what so ever during a game.... "what time iz it???@?"..... a replied with "ten too eight!!!@!"
    Next thing anooothe regular.... Marjorie, waz shouting "ouse..... OUSE!!!!@!"
    A tried ter explain when a said 'ten too eight' it waz only the time and noot '10, 2, 8' aka the last three numbers she needed for the jackpoot!!!!!!!
    Next thing a full riot broke out..... a ended up in A and E and getting sacked!!!!!!!!!

    Sometimes life...... can be VERY difficult!!!!!!

    Remember this advice all..... if ever yer a bingo caller..... be VERY careful if someone asks yer the teeeem during a calling!!!!!!!!

    Chow!

  • Comment number 49.

    Hi Christoph - good man that Don. Now what can we do to get you back on the telebox, whilst remaining in your drivetime slot of course? I amongst others would relish that prospect.

    I use the butchers in Cranleigh, the one that CLPs mum goes to I do believe. Great service nothing too much trouble and they do great bangers!!!

    On that note, back to the tennis.

    Pen xx



  • Comment number 50.

    Don't you find that male authors tend to be more graphic than female authors? In my teens I devoured my mums Jackie Collins / Jilly Cooper novels, then read some Harold Robbins. He was far far roooder than the lady writers!

    And I was only a little 'un!

    Deevs xx

  • Comment number 51.

    ..even worse if you work somewhere that blocks FB...at least the bbc isn't blocked...yet!

  • Comment number 52.

    P'raps so - although I don't think I've read any Robbins. And maybe it's just me who doesn't want it in too much biological minutiae?

    I found it was easy enough to think a scene up but not to write it down in a way that didn't look like a prime candidate for that 'bad sex award' that they give at the 'rassies' or whichever awards ceremony it is!

    df

  • Comment number 53.

    My goodneesss just listening ter Bazza Boy from Watford on Wrightie's show..... the man sounds demented...... a know 'ow 'e feels!!!!!!!

  • Comment number 54.

    Is it home time yet?
    I have just typed a huge missive whilst watching a robin feed it's little one and the whole caboodle was done with my fingers on the wrong keys! Bums.


    Beezer xxx

  • Comment number 55.

    oh Bingo..............what a life you lead!!

    df :)

  • Comment number 56.

    oops beezer,

    i find if i type when watching what keys i am hitting then i go all to pot, where if i look at the screen and type, i am 99% spit on.

    Nick.

  • Comment number 57.

    Beez

    You can type and not have to look at the screen or the keyboard??? As impossible for me as patting my head and rubbing my tum at the same time (with different hands obviously!)!

    Puff

  • Comment number 58.

    Hellooooooo, what a fun day you've had!

    Not feeling very wordy so:

    Don - good man!

    Tins - the best news!

    Haze - LOVE the pomes.

    All blogsters - fab bloggin lately.

    A x

  • Comment number 59.

    Blanche, yeah, join the club, we have FB blocked too....probably a good idea though...

  • Comment number 60.

    Nick - spit on! Love it!

    a x

  • Comment number 61.

    Nick...sorry about earlier on, thought you were Keef for a brief moment....please forgive me...

    I can't type, let aline touch tupe.....ha ha

  • Comment number 62.

    Hi Boleyngirl,

    You see I am no trouble at all am I regardless of what others say on fb.

    Nick.

  • Comment number 63.

    ha ha Nick - good one !!

    Puff - I rarely look what I am doing with most things !!!! Have little clouds floating round my head most of the time!

    Blanche/Tango - fb not blocked cos work from home but went on once and it caused all sorts of problems with the server/firewall/security or whatever it's called. Couldn't get back on to the system and had to re-boot the lot - ooops!!

    Beezer xxx

  • Comment number 64.

    The blog has just appeared on my screen as MASSIVE - only on or two comments per page! Bless it, it must know I haven't got me specs on!

    A x

  • Comment number 65.

    Ooo now back to normal. Did that happen to anyone else?

    Hi Nickers me lad, a touble-free zone!

    A x

  • Comment number 66.

    Hi bloggers and blogettes, how's everyone today? Been a while, a long while...

    Loving the cap on Noah yesterday, soo cute!! Can I have one? A cap that is, for the boy, I have my babba already :)

    My brother's just had another baby, they called her Aruna (Sanskrit for Sunrise), she was born as the first rays of dawn shone over the mountain :) So happy!

    Oh and that cake, that was absolutely fantabulous!!!!!!

    Lots of love to you all :)

    xx
    me (Jeni)
    and the excessively wriggly jumpybean (Ben)
    xx

  • Comment number 67.

    50 mins till home time.....yip bloody eeeee....can't wait.

  • Comment number 68.

    Enjoy your vino Tango. Vinobaz tonight.

    A x

  • Comment number 69.

    And hello Jumpy, long time no blog!

    A x

  • Comment number 70.

    Aye, very long time! No excuse really....

  • Comment number 71.

    Jumpy, a baby is a decent enough excuse!

  • Comment number 72.

    And hello Beezkneez.

    A x

  • Comment number 73.

    Woohoo...just rang me two closest chums up on the off chance.....turns out they're free tonight, so are joining me and the CMM for a few beers and a take-away.

    And probably a lot of Phnaar phnaar about how she could land one of them if she played her cards right and got rid of they're older chubbier mate (me!).

    She'll probably bugger off to bed about 9:30 to watch something American she's sky+ed, leavung us to get drunk in the garden.....yeeehaaaa!

    One question - If these two youngs bucks are such catches.....why are they available to come round to an old married mans house on a friday night???!!!

    Party Rips

    x

  • Comment number 74.

    Hi Chris,

    Good luck with your second draft - second time lucky, or for some is it third time lucky!

    I'm looking forward to next week. It can only get better!

    Thanks for your love and love you too.

    x.x.x.x.x.

  • Comment number 75.

    Oh Rips, you blokes and your phnar phnaring. With yer meat cleaver in one hand and yer beer in the other standing by the bbq...

  • Comment number 76.

    Rips - you've hit the nail etc - because they're not quite the catches they'd like to think they are!

    And you'll have the CMM waiting upstairs for you later - although if the beers have been flowing too much..........we'd perhaps best not go there! Have a good time, whatever!

    Still 40 minutes to log off time...............

    df

    p.s. Oh and way to go Murray! Semi final next....

  • Comment number 77.

    Nice one Rips

    A (Boleyngirl)...sounds like you know me too well....scary....yes vinobaz night indeed..and going out with mate for Chickety Chinese...cooool...BUT with kids i'm afraid, to have to be half sensible..

  • Comment number 78.

    boleyngirl and df.

    you can tell its FNWC, i can sense a hint of nortiness starting to appear.

    keep your fingers crossed for me to get the ickle ones to bed early to join in later.

    Nick.

  • Comment number 79.

    Only half though Tango. One half sensible, the other, high spirited.

    A x

  • Comment number 80.

    tsk tsk .... we can't be doing with nortiness on this ere blog!

    HOH_Deevs
    xxx

  • Comment number 81.

    Nick, I am never norty, pas moi.

    A x

  • Comment number 82.

    As always A!!!

    No norty steps apply tonight...woooohoooo!!

    Good for you too Deevsta!!

  • Comment number 83.

    Bring it on...28 mins and counting....

  • Comment number 84.

    HOH ? What's that Chez? Her Obedient Highness? Orange? Obstinate?

    A x

  • Comment number 85.

    A,

    Of course you are never norty. have you ever been sent to the norty step and sat alongside either deev or beez.

    Nick.

  • Comment number 86.

    Odorous? Octagonal? No, wait, opulent. I'd love to be opulent.

    A x

  • Comment number 87.

    Nick, most serpently not.

    A x

  • Comment number 88.

    Nick - I've not had anything remotely alcofrolic (not even wine gums!!) since last Friday so tonight I will indulge - and I did I mention that I'm going on holibobs too?

    Oh, just the ten times then..............?

    df

  • Comment number 89.

    df,

    i would never have guessed you are going on your holibobs.

    you should let us know in future.

    Nick.

  • Comment number 90.

    right e o bloggers I am off, got some pork to marinade in soy, ginger, chili and spring onion reday for when Mrs SSJ returns.

    Hope you all have great weekends

    Enjoy those BBQ's!

  • Comment number 91.

    Happy hols Df....was unaware of your pending frolics hols....be good, if you can't be good..etc etc etc

    TBx

  • Comment number 92.

    Sounds very scrummy Sir Jim, can almost smell it.

    Ax

  • Comment number 93.

    No colleagues to talk/walk with to the station tonight so I'm going to leave a few mins early, switch the mobile on to radio and catch the first ARF. That'll be a first!

    Have a good FNWC everyone- I can hear the chilled white wine calling me from here!

    Puff

  • Comment number 94.

    Boleyn

    Head Over Heels!

    Deevs x x x

  • Comment number 95.

    Hi Boleyn,
    No bbq - but we may need to test the new Chimnea!

    Deev - how are you getting on with the sunflower food.....what do mean it starved?!

    Oh - and as for Elbow supporting U2....shouldn't that be the other way round?
    Although, at least you can watch a decent band at Wembley and then leggit before Bonzo gets on the stage.......*snigger*

    Luv ew x

    Right - ho,

    Enjoy whatever tonight and the rest of the weekend brings everyone....

    If the boys go early, I may stumble into FNWC and knock a few chairs over before falling asleep on someones shoulder....

    .....nope, no change there then!

    Take care,

    Luv ew

    Ripples

    x

  • Comment number 96.

    I think I can too. "Puuuuuuuuuufffffffffffff, Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuffffffffffffffff, hurry hoooooooooooome..."

  • Comment number 97.

    Nick - I wanted to keep it quiet! LOL

    And Baz - I'm always..........no, behave yourself df! Haven't even uncorked the wine bottle yet.

    15 mins............

    df

  • Comment number 98.

    Rips, Boleynman got a chimnea for his 40th last year. He loves it so much. He keeps sneaking off to the garden bench every now and then to burn stuff and read his book!

    A x

  • Comment number 99.

    Seems we are droppin like flies now....time for me to say the usual ADIOS and depart into a vino blurred week end no doubt..

    Take care one and all....catcha Monday along with Mayo.....

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Comment number 100.

    Oh gotcha Chez. Hope they aren't killer heels though, could be nasty.

    A x

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