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Korn vs. Chromeo

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Fraser McAlpine | 10:06 UK time, Friday, 20 July 2007

L-R: Chromeo, Korn

OK, OK, it's clearly not going to be a very long battle if anyone were to actually arrange a proper fight between the former Dark Lords of Nu-Metal (that's Korn, disco kids) and the Disco-Pop Band Who've Got A Song I Quite Like (that's Chromeo, Nu-Metallers). And in any case, in these times of war and religious intolerance, the very last thing you want to do is encourage further violence, unless it's on someone really, really annoying, obv.

No, the reason these two have been lumped together in such an undignified fashion is that they both have new singles out on the 23rd, but there's not really a lot to say about either song.

Chromeo's song is called 'Tenderoni', and is so '80s Calvin Harris wants to marry it. Korn's song is called 'Evolution', and is so Korn it's like Korn and and Korn tribute band got together to write the Korniest song they could possibly imagine, in a Kornish fashion...in Kornwall. Both songs are available at the band's respective MySpace pages, links are at the bottom of this page.

That's it. Nothing else to say...*fingerdrum*....

I mean I'll TRY to think of other stuff to talk about, but the big problem with writing, specifically writing about music and not really being allowed to add your own made-up stories, is that you never know when the word-tumble from brain to fingers will suddenly run ou...

Kidding! Of COURSE you're allowed to add made-up stories...

So, anyway, Korn and Chromeo, Chromeo and Korn...

Wouldn't it be brilliant if there was a faux-'70s detective series called Chromeo And Korn? It could be one of those slightly wacky ones, where they are a comically mis-matched pair, who really shouldn't get along, but somehow their individual quirks fuse, and cancel each other out, and even though they don't exactly play by THE RULES, they really get the job done.

Chromeo & Korn

You'd have, like, Detective Dave Korn, from downtown Chicago. He's an undercover cop on the edge, who works in a shady netherworld of long-haired youths in tattoo parlours, and freakish high-school kids who have to take 'heat' from 'the jocks'. He's got issues, but what he doesn't know about the Scottish martial arts - particularly lethal bagpiping - just ain't worth knowing.

And then there'd be suave Detective Hutch 'Chromeo' Donjohnson, in espadrilles and rolled-up linen suit jacket. He's come over from Miami, and hasn't really got used to the chilly Illinois climate. But his sunny demeanour and easy charm always go over well with 'The Ladies', much to Korn's disgust. And there's this running gag about how he got his nickname. Some say it's because he's always spotless, and a demon lover, or that he had a very shiny car which he used when out on the pull. Some say he has *blushes* a device which *more blushes* he uses in the act of *cough* making *coughcough* with *splutter*, and that's why he has never married.

Sure, they wisecrack with each other all the time. Korn calls Chromeo "a crazy jerk" and Chromeo calls Korn "a stoopid a-hole", but deep down they have total respect for the other's abilities, and when push comes to shove, they always come through for one another, like true partners do.

*sigh* Why is real life always such a let-down?


Comments

  1. At 09:55 PM on 20 Jul 2007, wrote:

    I'm not a HUGE fan of "Tenderoni" but once you see Chromeo live you'll understand the hype. Their best song is the title track - "Fancy Footwork". SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!

  2. At 02:33 AM on 24 Jul 2007, katrina wrote:

    im a huge fan of korn xox wish i could meet them xox my favorite song is freak on a leash and the songs they sang for Queen of the dammed my fav movie

  3. At 08:38 PM on 18 Oct 2007, Jonas wrote:

    korn if you will see this!

    Hello Jon James and Fieldy,i have been a fan of your since 1999, and i just loved your first albums.
    And the best live band ever.
    But then later when head quit the band,you guys just change,it was not korn anymore.So i really whant you guys to stick to the old KoRn. If you do that "I got a watch". if this is going to be last album, please make a old korn album.
    cya in sweden 2008 ;)

    Jonas

  4. At 10:02 AM on 01 Dec 2007, Peter wrote:

    Hi Just a little thing to say about your review. So you don't like the 80's or hevey metal, thats fair enough but you coud at least keep to the music instead of a dim witted (not even funny) joke about an era that has about as much to do with either bands as P4U and honesty.

    Oh and for the record Tenderoni is a wicked tune!

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