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Marshall Mathers And His Marital Matters

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Fraser McAlpine | 14:52 UK time, Monday, 26 March 2007

eminem_banner.jpg

There are times when showbiz is just the funnest place in the entire world. And not just those times when bad things are happening to people whose work is not to your personal taste either (although, those times are often quite a laugh too).

No, the BEST fun you can get out of showbiz is when a star spends their entire life behaving in a certain way to everyone else in the entire world, and then when someone behaves like that towards them, they can't take it.

A good example would be if Mariah Carey, or P Diddy walked into an interview, having put down their clockwise-stirred coffee, left a freshly-redecorated room full of puppies and kittens, brushing past the enormous bouquet of lillies in a crystal vase, and the interviewer shrieked "WHAT IS THIS? I SAID SHE HAD TO WEAR A ROYAL BLUE DRESS! THIS IS NAVY!" and flounced out.

They would hardly be in a position to criticise, would they?

Which leads me, skipping and giggly, to THE POINT...

Eminem is applying for a court order to ban his ex-wife Kim from saying nasty things about him to the media.

Yep, you read that right. Eminem doesn't want Kim to slag him off, because he fears that it may have a detrimental effect on their 11-year-old daughter Hailie's upbringing.

Seriously...Eminem. He said that. EMINEM.

Eminem Graph

For younger readers who may not get the subtle nuance of why this is a laff riot, Eminem (you know his real name is Marshall Mathers, right?) is the rap star whose rise to the toppermost levels of musical fame was punctuated with a series of songs in which he wished his wife dead.

These include '97 Bonnie & Clyde', where he pretends Kim is a corpse in the boot of his car, and 'Kim', which is basically the darkest thoughts you could ever have about your boy/girlfriend, set to music. They're incredibly powerful songs, and clearly dredged up out of the blackest moments in what seems to have been a tough life, but still pretty damn nasty.

At the time, Eminem and Kim had split up, but they got back together again a couple of years ago, and even remarried last January...but split again soon after.

Now Kim has been appearing on radio talk shows giving her side of the story, and guess what? She's not a massive fan of her former husband, and seems to be just as creative as he is in finding nasty things to say about him.

She told a Detroit radio show that Marshall is NOT the caring father he claims to be on his records, and that his relationship with Hailie contains "nothing positive".

She also said this: "I can't stand him. He's an absolutely horrible person, and he gets worse every day. I vomit in my mouth whenever I'm around him or I hear his name."

Eminem and Kim in happier timesSee what I mean about creative? That's clearly either a lie, or she's got to have the furriest teeth in THE WORLD. And why be so specific? She only had to say "he makes me sick", not specify exactly WHERE the sick is going and how often...proper inventive, that is.

Oh, and she also claims he is rubbish in bed and "not very well endowed", but then, she WOULD, wouldn't she?

Which brings me back to the court order. The application, submitted to the Macomb Circuit Court, claims that these public outbursts at daddy's expense risk exposing Hailie to "humiliation and hostility", and that is different to listening to 'Kim' - a song in which Hailie is mentioned often - because of...er...well...NEVER YOU MIND, OK? GET ON WITH YOUR HOMEWORK!

Fair enough, none of Eminem's records are really suitable for an 11-year-old to listen to, and Kim is appearing on easily accessible radio stations, but still...you've got to love his nerve!

AND he released a statement about Kim's outbursts, which reads: "It's a shame that I've moved on and Kim hasn't."

"Her ongoing press campaign is doing nothing but harm to the children, and for that I feel truly sorry. For their sake I wish she would stop."

Well, you know...maybe it would be a good idea if you BOTH stop, eh?

Don't make me come over there and box your ears!

Comments

  1. At 11:04 AM on 27 Mar 2007, sandra wrote:

    hold on 2 secounds please! this eminem problem would not have even been a prolem if the media had not of exposed it! IF it wasnt in the papers 24 7 then kim wouldnt even be famous! Fair enough there would be question of who is eminem rapping about in this songs? But over all no one would really care! one of eminems first songs was about the media sticking there noise into everything and i agree with it! WHo cares if eminem has a small penis or that he makes kim sick! Every other divorce in the world doesnt get talked about as much! And it wouldnt if the media left marchel Mathers alone. Eminems wife kim wouldnt be invited onto a radio show if no one new about it! Image what that poor child must be going through with two parents as immature as 3 years in the park! Her mother is on THE RADIO talking about her fathers penis! IS THIS EVEN LEGAL ???
    My short version is the media is more a part of this realiship and family than the child is!
    SO STOP GOSSIPING AND LEAVE THEM ALONE!

    sandra wishart

  2. At 03:57 PM on 02 Apr 2007, Anonymous wrote:

    y cant u marry me
    i want to hav u in my bed

    [Well, it's all a bit sudden, see. I hardly know you. Pretty name though... Fraser]


  3. At 12:32 PM on 11 Apr 2007, Alison wrote:

    Well i do think it's alittle far up the scale of the pot calling the kettle black,
    But you have to think about this.. last i hear Kim had "sued, divorced, Talked to the press, tv shows etc etc.." All this comes to a great deal of money.. So hasn't she made a killing of Him?!
    All this bad press does is stir things up.. but it also puts a nice jingle in her pocket no doubt. i do think she's milking him for all his worth!!

    Also How could she know if he is a "good" father if they are divorced? i mean they would hardly see each other would they?! O,o
    And is trying hard to earn money to give your kids the best posssible life they could have a BAD thing? well blow me down!! He wants to give hailiey (sp?) all the things in life he hasn't. And to that he has to work.. but his work is singing.. which means traveling. Which means he can't be there for her.
    But at least he's thinking about her that much is in his songs!

    Woo.. got carried away.. anyhoo's Ciao!!

  4. At 04:04 PM on 08 Jan 2008, star wrote:

    i wannna luv u x2

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