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Chart Report - 10/12/06

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Fraser McAlpine | 16:48 UK time, Monday, 11 December 2006

Click on song titles for ChartBlog review and media.
Ìý 1 TAKE THAT 'PATIENCE'
Ìý 2 BOOTY LUV 'BOOGIE 2NITE'
Ìý 3 AKON ft. EMINEM 'SMACK THAT'
Ìý 4 LAZY TOWN 'BING BANG (TIME TO DANCE)' Official Site
Ìý 5 NELLY FURTADO 'ALL GOOD THINGS (COME TO AN END)'
The entire Top 40 is right here...

Take a look down your high street, or at the house over the way with the lights all over it and the white felt roof. What do you notice about these, and a lot of other things at this time of year? That's right, they have become Christmassy, and the reason for this is, it's nearly Christmas.

I know, I know, this reads like the crazy ramblings of some loon in a Santa suit, surrounded by advent calenders and sitting with a calender in his lap, a glass of mulled squash in one hand and some sprouts in the other. And he's using a specially-sharpened sprout to cross off the days of December, which aren't passing nearly quickly enough DAMMIT!

But it's a valid point to raise now we're into the week before the week before Christmas, and a quick look down the Top 40 raises an interesting question: Where the hell are all the Christmas records?

Out of the FORTY hit songs in this week's chart, there are only two which have anything to do with presents, the baby Jesus, trees, goodwill to all men and playing frisbee with whatever nonsense Cliff Richard has blessed us all with this year. And they're both old, and they're hardly big sellers.

Slade are at No.22 with the inescapable 'Merry Xmas Everybody' and the Pogues & Kirsty MacColl are next door at No.23 with 'Fairytale Of New York'. Just as they have been every single year since before the baby Jesus was born. Actually, strike that, since before the PLANET was born.

A Chart Pie Chart

See that pie chart? See it? THAT'S how festive this week's chart is, and at a time when everything else is quite SO Christmassy - from town centres to shops to houses to televisions to stupid novelty hats - that takes a special kind of perverse genius. It's like the entire Top 40 has forgotten to start Christmas shopping yet, and is leaving everything until the last minute. Oh sure, SLADE are here, and yer POGUES, but they're kind of left over from last year, in the box with all the knackered decorations, so that doesn't really count.

It'll be interesting to see if the chart gets a bit of a panic on next week, and starts to suddenly get some slightly hurried festive hits in (some good, some bad, some by RICKY 'CASHING IN' TOMLINSON) in a bid not to appear mean-spirited, or if it continues to ignore Christmas entirely. Well, perhaps 'interesting' is too strong a word...how about 'noteworthy'? Or better still, 'not boring'?

PS: After last week's massive rant, well done to everyone who hoisted Jamelia up to No.10. That's very good. But seeing as more of you bought Lazy Town's 'Bing Bang (Time To Dance)', it's hardly brilliant, now is it?

Comments

  1. At 11:10 AM on 11 Aug 2007, Simon Buena wrote:

    It's a big shame that Jamelia's album and the singles taken from 'Walk With Me' weren't really that much of a success. Does no-one really know a good pop record when they hear it? Rihanna's feeble vocals on 'Umbrella' lasted 10 weeks and number one, yet Jamelia's 'Beware of the Dog' just scraped the top ten?? Hmm.. I don't know what people are thinking these days. And to those of you who let Jamelia's 'No More' miss the Top 40 completely - shame on you!! Hears to hoping you'll give some BRITISH talent (think about it.. rihanna, fergie, nelly f etc. etc. ALL AMERICAN) some chance in the charts. Jamelia was probably the only British R&B female who could have given the american girls a run for their money. Hmph.

  2. At 12:11 PM on 11 Aug 2007, Kat wrote:

    I tend to like American music, making no apologies for that. Bigger country, more people, more talent to choose from. British music is doing pretty okay though considering we're a much smaller country. Several US tv shows have regularly used british artists in their soundtracks, and a primetime, end-show song slot is worth a lot these days.

    As for Umbrella, I got as sick of it being number 1 as anyone... but it was a grand song, for sure.

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