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I always wanted kids. When I was a little girl I would spend hours playing with those dolls that wet themselves and depended on you. I always knew I would be a mother one day.

Well here I was 29, approaching my third year of marriage and still no baby. It's not like I haven't been trying. I just don't seem to become pregnant. I know Sean has given up on me. He's become almost anti-children nowadays; it breaks my heart when he sneers at babies. He's thirty but acts like a cynical old man. Now our lives seem so sterile. I get home at 4:30, start dinner, Sean gets home at 5:30, we sit down and eat dinner, watch T.V, go to bed. The same day in day out: I'm scared that one day he won't be home at 5:30; I'm scared he won't come home at all.

''It's just a phase, John was the same until I had the twins'' Carry tells me calmly. She sips her Grande Latte delicately, her wedding ring flashing under Starbucks soft lighting.
''But you were 26 when you had the twins'' I say sadly. ''I'm pushing thirty and the closest I've come to getting pregnant is reading a mother and baby magazine'' I mutter.
''You need to get over this notion that Sean's going to leave you'' Carry sighs. ''He loves you. You know he does.''
''But...''
''Who cares about kids? Until I was pregnant with Lily and Cole I couldn't give a stuff about kids. You've wanted them since you were one yourself.'' Carry laughs at me. I knew she was right. Until the twins were born Carry hated kids. She worried they would throw up on her or that they would pull out her extensions. After Lily and Cole were born 4 weeks premature Carry became world best Mum. She never spent longer than 10 minutes without them. Nowadays she was less friendly to them. I know as soon as I have kids I'll never let them out of my sight. They'd be my little angels until I died.
''I suppose you're right,'' I simply say.
''Too right I am!'' She shouts causing people to look over.
''Anna? Anna Jordan?!'' A woman cries striding over. I'm shocked that she can as she looks about seven months pregnant. ''Monica Richards! We went to high school together! We were on the hockey, netball and tennis team together!'' How could I forget? Monica and I were quite close when we were at school. We did tons of sports but apart from that she didn't hang around with my group. I personally think it is because of Carry.
''Mon! How are you?'' I ask happily. I can't help staring at her stomach.
''Oh I'm fab! You're looking so healthy. Last I heard you were married to Sean Denver. You sly fox!'' She laughs gaily.
''Hello, Monica. So how far are you?'' Carry asks cattily. I scratch my nose nervously.
'Oh! Seven months now! Third time and all! Two six year old girls and a two year old boy! Me and the husband are going to be busy!'' she chatters away.
''How lovely'' Carry smiles.
''Yes'So Anna have you any children?'' This was the question I was dreading.
''Nope not yet'' I say. Monica's face falls. I know what she's thinking.
''Oh what a shame'anyway I must dash. Harry and I are looking for cribs. I'll give you a ring, Anna'' Monica laughs away waving at her husband. ''Toodles''
''Bye Mon'' I say. No matter where I go I can't get away from the fact I'm not a mother.

As I stand over the oven waiting for the turkey to cook all I could think abut was Monica. I don't know why, but her smug pregnant face kept popping up.
''Anna? You home?'' Sean's voice called out.
''In the kitchen, honey'' I reply. Sean walks in looking completely exhausted. His firm have been really harsh on him recently and I'm getting worried about him.
''You look exhausted! The firm is making you ill.'' I complain. Sean shrugs at me, walks over to the coffee machine, fills it and walks over to me. He wrap's his arms around me. I can smell his clean masculine aftershave and it makes me feel calmer already.
''Dinner smells great, hun. I'm gonna be in the study writing some things up,'' he says walking into the lounge. I sigh and return to the turkey.