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Their biggest mistake was bringing me back... carelessly, thoughtlessly they made their decision. But they don't know just how I'm going to sabotage their proceedings. Oh, how I'm going to get my own back on them... they'll learn never to mess with me, Bert Saunders.

It makes me hurt to think about how I've been so broken-hearted, to leave the people I'd been with for so long. But now I'm back, and bigger than ever. I AM mighty. I AM amazing. I am '
"Bert, time for tea!" My mum calls. I growl my frustration at having to leave my game. It's going so well! My imagination is really on top form this evening, and not concentrating for any length of time will ruin it all! Oh, why do parents have to exist? Why do they have the right to dictate your every move? Why can't I be in charge? Why '

"BERT, GET IN HERE NOW!" Dad bellows. I jump up, terrified, running quickly into the house. I know never to mess with Dad when he's in this mood. The consequences could be disastrous.

"Ah, there you are. Now sit down and have your tea, then I'll take you to bed." Mum smiles nervously, glancing sideways at Dad who nods approvingly.

"But Mum!" I protest in horror. "I can't go to bed straight after tea! I have to get my revenge on the slime monsters! You can't do this to me, Mum!"

Dad glares and I shut up immediately. Dad looks like one of my slime monsters some times, when he puffs his cheeks out and gets angry. This makes him even darker coloured than ever and I can just imagine him in my game, as leader of the monsters.

"Bert, you are seven years old! You go to bed when I tell you to go to bed and you don't argue with me about it, OK? Now, were you playing that silly pretend game with the slugs and snails again? You know how I don't like that game, it's just encouraging you to like Nature. As if anyone could be interested in that!" Dad laughs in disbelief, and looks at Mum. Mum laughs too, along with Dad, because she knows that there will be trouble if she doesn't.

I stop listening as Dad carries on talking. In my mind I am back in my game in the garden, in the mud, with my snails as my team. We are about to get our own back on the mighty Dad Slug, who has invited me back into his world without realising what trouble it will cause. The slugs think I have surrendered, but I haven't. I'm just devising a plan to beat all plans. We will conquer all, my fr '

"Bert, are you listening to me? Did you hear what I said? Come out of that little world at once, boy. When you're eating with us I expect you to listen to us when we talk to you. Got that?"

I nod. What can I say? Dad and his rules. There are so many of them, and I can never remember what they are. I drift off again, knowing full well that I will be shouted at when I stop daydreaming. But I'm so bored of my life, and I get so bored of Dad. Mum never sticks up for me, I think she's scared of Dad. That's a bit silly really, as Dad is in a wheelchair and he can't actually do anything. But my pretend world is the one place Dad can't reach me. He can't hurt me there. He can't make me say what goes on, so I can get really angry and he will never know.

"Your biggest mistake was bringing me back..." I laugh evilly. I thought I was saying it in my head, but I open my eyes suddenly and Mum and Dad are watching me closely, anxiety on Mum's face and fury on Dad's. I must have said it out loud.

Oops.