���˿���

Once you have highlighted the references in the extract which you want to use, you need to make a brief plan before writing your answer. Make sure that you work through the extract chronologically, and always get to the end. Remind yourself of the assessment objectives - to give your own opinion about the text; build a discussion and quote directly – as well as talk about the way the writer has used language and form to create particular effects.

Use this plan to help you to make your own for other questions:

Higher tier

Read the extract then answer the following question. How does Nick Hornby present the relationship between Marcus and Ellie at this point in the novel?

Foundation tier

Read the extract then answer the following question. What are your thoughts and feelings about Marcus and Ellie here? Give reasons for what you say, and remember to support your answer with words and phrases from the extract.

Planning your answer

1. Introduction. Briefly explain what is going on in this passage to show the examiner that you know the text.
2. Discuss the way that Marcus is presented here and his attitude towards Ellie.
3. Discuss the way that Ellie is presented here and her attitude to Marcus.
4. Conclusion. Briefly sum up what you have discussed in your response.

Higher tier sample responses

Here are two sample answers which address point two of the action plan above:

Sample answer one

My thoughts and feelings are that Ellie is not treating Marcus very well in this extract. She does not take any notice of him but she is supposed to be looking after him. It says They didn’t talk on the train at first, which shows that Marcus is unsure of what to say to Ellie, because then it says that she would threaten to do things to the people who looked at her when she swore or swigged from her bottle of vodka. My thoughts and feelings are that Marcus is confused at this point because he used to think she was amazing but now it says She just wasn’t the right sort of person for him. I think he has had a shock because she never usually behaves like this. Marcus used to love spending time with Ellie but now it says that actually it wasn’t an awful lot of fun being the opposite of Ellie. My feelings are sad for Marcus because he is frightened and embarrassed. I know this because it says it was frightening and embarrassing. Ellie says I know him better than I know you. He understood me. She is talking about Kurt Cobain. Marcus finds it hard to understand how she could know somebody she never met.

Feedback comments – quite good, but lacks focus on the task in places

This is a classic response to a question asking about your thoughts and feelings. It is NOT a good idea to say my thoughts and feelings are... when discussing the extract; instead you should say I feel that... or I think that... and this leads to a good discussion. This answer does focus on Ellie at times, but there is too much focus on Marcus, and he should have been dealt with in paragraph 2 of the plan. There is some good use of quotations, although it is not necessary to say something and then immediately repeat the same words in a quote, as has been done here. There is some empathy, which is a good sign of engaging with the characters and text, and some good understanding of why Ellie is so angry. There is also a bit of discussion about Marcus having a shock, which could have been expanded upon.

Sample answer two

Ellie is shocking to both Marcus and the reader in this extract. She is devastated because her idol, Kurt Cobain, has killed himself and therefore she has decided to get drunk on the train journey with Marcus. She offered to accompany Marcus as he went to Cambridge to visit his father, but the way she is behaving is making Marcus seriously uncomfortable. They didn’t talk on the train at first shows how awkward Marcus must be feeling, as he probably does not want to encourage her to talk or shout. It is bad enough as it is, because every now and then Ellie would threaten to do things to the people who looked at her when she swore or swigged from her bottle of vodka. I feel that Ellie is quite enjoying having an excuse to behave like this, and she probably likes doing it in front of Marcus, because she knows that he idolises her. She does not realise that his feelings are changing though, because he thinks she just wasn’t the right sort of person for him. Ellie feels that her life is dreadful, and she thinks that only Kurt Cobain could understand the terrible sufferings she is supposedly going through. I think she is a bit of a drama queen at this point in the novel, and I feel sorry for Marcus because he really does have problems. I like the humour when the writer explains how Ellie feels she knew Kurt Cobain simply because she listened to him sing every single day and wore him on her sweatshirt, and Marcus cannot see the logic in this. At the end of the extract when Marcus asks Ellie what she is angry about, I think her answer shows that she has not really got a reason, because the writer uses single words and ellipsis to show her hesitation, Nothing. Just... life.

Feedback comments – much better, focused and well expressed, with plenty of textual support

This response focuses immediately on Ellie and how she is behaving. It also looks at how Marcus is affected by her, but only in a way that is relevant to the task. There is plenty of inference, in the discussion of Ellie probably enjoying the attention. There is very good understanding of the reason for the two of them being on the train and why Ellie is upset, and it is nicely balanced by comments about the humour involved in Ellie’s thinking that Kurt Cobain knew her, and Marcus’ lack of understanding of this. There is some analysis of language and style in the last sentence, which neatly brings the discussion to the end of the extract. Using I think and I feel shows that the candidate feels involved as a reader, and therefore answers the question well.

Now attempt your own answer to this extract question based on the above plan. Try to complete it in about twenty minutes.