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Anyone who's taken exams will remember their results day - the stress and sweaty palms, anxious to receive the news.

As parents and carers, as well as planning results day yourself, you can help your child to prepare for the best and the worst - both emotionally and practically.

Parents’ Toolkit has spoken to parents and educational psychologist Professor David Putwain, and here they share their own experiences and advice:

Worries about the day

Kate, a mum from Essex, says that she’s nervous and doesn’t have a plan yet, but knows she still has time to look for advice, “My son is dreading results day. He tried his absolute best, but came out of some exams very disheartened, saying that there were certain things they never got to cover in their online learning.”

David Putwain is a professor of Education and Early Childhood Studies at Liverpool John Moores University. He’s previously taught in schools and colleges and completed a PhD, which looked at the stress and anxiety students feel when preparing for their GCSE exams.

He says, “Many, although not all students, are deeply concerned about not wanting to let their parents (or other family members) down. They feel like they’ll be judged if they don’t obtain expected grades. It’s really important to help release some of the pressure of the build-up to results, that parents or carers tell their children they’re loved, valued, and respected, for who they are, not for their academic achievement. This may seem very obvious to you, but not to your children. Reiterate this point after results have been achieved.”

Not getting the desired results

Jo in Sussex, whose son Leo is waiting for his results, says, “If he doesn’t get what he needs, we’ll call the college and discuss options with them. I work in higher education and every year I speak to students in clearing who didn’t get the grades they wanted. It isn’t the end of the road and there’s always an alternative path. We’ll be celebrating everything he’s achieved during this time.”

Jayne, in Manchester, is starting to plan what to do if her son doesn’t receive the results they’re hoping for, “If the results mean my son needs to retake the core subjects, we’ll consider appealing. If the exam boards drop his grade slightly, that’s acceptable, but he should be receiving the results predicted by school that we all know he is capable of. It’s been particularly challenging for my son as he has autism and hasn’t been able to complete a full academic year since year 5, due to unmet needs and severe anxiety at school.”

Professor Putwain says, “It’s quite possible that you’ll feel disappointed with your child’s results, if they weren’t what you hoped they’d get. Before results day, ask yourself the question of why you’d feel disappointed? Did you have aspirations for your child to be a high achiever, go to a top university, or set themselves up well for life? If this is the case, your child isn’t meeting your expectations. It's important to balance this out against the overall importance of your child’s welfare and wellbeing. As much as you possibly can, try to see the world through their eyes on results day.”

“Generally, well-meaning sentiments like “don’t worry, it’ll be fine” aren't well received and it can be more effective to focus on the practical steps that can be taken to choose alternative colleges or…courses.”

Supporting your child

Laura is nervous as she doesn’t know what results her daughter will get.

Laura said, “I’m planning to support her by staying calm and trying to work out her options. I don't plan to reward her financially; I think that sends the wrong message. I’ve bought her a small, personal gift and her dad has said he’ll buy her a special meal. These will be given however she does in the exams.”

David Putwain says, “Let your children know that you’re available to help and plan options for what to do if they didn’t receive the grades they’d hoped for. Remember that education, and the pressures on children, are very different to what they were 20 or 30 years ago. It’s best to avoid a ‘what worked for me’ approach. Let your child lead.

“Schedule something nice for after results (before or after they’ve celebrated with friends) to acknowledge their achievement - whatever it was.”

This article was published in August 2022

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