成人快手

I told you I was cool

Hello boys and girls

This is me

Hey, my name's Tess (don't EVER call me Tessa) Langley. Or Bear, after Tessie Bear in old school Noddy, I told you I was cool.

I've just finished my second year at UCE Birmingham and making way for a wicked summer filled with free gigs and loads of cool things to report on.

鈥楧aan鈥� on the 鈥榮aath鈥� coast innit!

I was born in St Leonards on-sea, in between my hometown Bexhill (the biggest retirement home in the UK) and Hastings (I love Hastings, I miss the beach so much).

Huh?

I love music, I'm pretty open minded, like all kinds of stuff as long as it makes me either smile, cry, sing, shout, dance, jump, laugh, basically anything that makes me feel something.

I love going to gigs and festivals, but have yet to venture to the granddaddy of all festivals, Glastonbury, but I will one day, goddammit.

I love watching films, stuff like Snatch and Fight Club, Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption, stuff that either makes you think or laugh. Or cry. (Yes, I did cry the first time I watched Titanic, and yes, every time I watch The Green Mile I turn into a hormonal female.) It's got to be done though...

Look into my eyes...

I play guitar, not very well mind you, and I do kinda need to fix my baby, it fell flat on it's face last year and the knobs and switches are all broke now :(

Skanky pubs and booters

I love writing, reading, photography, sitting in old run down pubs, (I'm fed up of all these trendy new places, what happened to the dirty old carpet, wonky tables and skanky graffiti ridden toilets?).

I have a small but controllable fetish for white chocolate, tea, food (in particular roast lamb and smothered chicken) and I'll always make time for a nice pint of bitter.

30 quid for that tattoo...rip off?

I love piercings, much to the disgust of my daddypooz, but he gave up on me a long time ago. I've got 22 (all in my face, 'cause I'm so incredibly cool). I want to get a few more done but I'm a part time waitress and I'm sure people wouldn't order metal with their food, so for now, I'm being a responsible adult.

I'm a girl so I'm allowed to like shopping (I鈥檓 a sucker for clothes and shoes, silver jewellery, wooden bracelets and necklaces, teddy bears). Since coming to Uni I have re-discovered the joys of boot sales, where even the poorest student can find a bargain.

Rolls?

You wanna go some?

Love a good game of rugby, although I haven't played since the beginning of Uni, which combined with three of the above fetishes, might have something to do with the alarmingly increasing rate at which my rolls seem to multiply. Guilty as charged.听

Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

Oompa Loompa

There are a number of things I hate: crying, losing things (including money) dark chocolate, toothache and the dentist (it鈥檚 a no win situation), stress, really cool sunglasses that just randomly break at the beginning of the summer (maybe I should splash out a bit and spend more than a fiver). RIP Download glasses.

20 going on 3

One more thing I'd like to share:

I'm stupidly short (4ft 10鈥�) (it is true, I am an oompa loompa) and I still suck my thumb, but again, that is of course because I'm so incredibly cooler than you.

Thank you pleashe.